I have so many thoughts racing through my mind and want to bounce my situation off of people who appear to be much like me, so I joined up and now here I am.
I have a girlfriend who’s ambitions and preferences don’t interest me (but used to), but we’ve been dating since we were teenagers which I find to be unique and special. She’s also willing to stay with me for the rest of our natural lives. She gives me love and is dependent on mine.
A girl who’s been in and out of my life since I was for recently came back into my life and she’s intriguing as all hell, she’s also into me. As soon as she showed up I felt imprisoned by my relationship.
I feel like getting out of this relationship will free me from a mediocre (but good) life and allow me to really figure myself out.
So what I’d really like to know from you is:
Have you been in a situation like this? What did you do?
Have you ever been really attached to someone and had them break it off? How did things end up for you afterwards?
I would really appreciate any advice, stories or opinions you have.
When a honeybee searches for honey, it sits on flower after flower, trying to detect their nectar. Its whole intention is to obtain honey. It does not search for feces; its only love is for the honey, the fragrance, and the pollen. It does not need feces. It flies for long distances to find flowers. It sits on a flower and draws the honey, then carries the honey in its mouth and the pollen on its feet, returns to its hive and deposits them there. Little by little, it makes large quantities of honey. It does not search for anything else. If there is any other scent, whether it is the odor of feces or even the sweet fragrance of attar, it will not be attracted by them. It goes directly to a flower to take its honey.
In the same way, one who is truly searching for God, one who is searching for Gods grace and truth and qualities, flies to a sheikh as a honeybee flies to a flower. What does he need from that flower? He needs the wisdom and honey which is Gods grace. To obtain the honey of grace and Gods qualities and actions, he must sit by the side of the sheikh and extract them from the sheikh, just as a bee extracts honey from a flower. That is his honey.
The disciples must sit on the qalb, the innermost heart, of the sheikh and imbibe the honey. Around him there may be land, gold, women, treasures, feces, urine, gold, silver, or platinum. There may be silk and velvet. There may be wealth and happiness, house and property, families and tribes. There may be thrones and palaces and many treasures. All these and more may surround the sheikh, but the true disciple will never sit upon any of them because they do not have the fragrance he is seeking. They do not have that honey.
If he sits only on the heart of the sheikh, then he can obtain the honey of grace, the honey of gnanam, the honey of Gods light, the honey of the resplendence called Nur, the honey of the kingdom of Gods grace, the honey of Gods mystery. That disciple, that devotee, the one who does service to the sheikh, service to God, and service to all mankind, will sit on the heart of the sheikh and drink of his honey. He will not sit on the world.
On the other hand, those who prefer the gold, silver, wealth, women, land, races, religions, colors, gems, houses, properties, health, and happiness that surround the sheikh will never gather any honey, for those things all belong to the earth. What they think is gold is not really gold; it is earth. The precious stone is not a precious stone; it is hell. They will never find honey from any of these things. Anyone who places his faith in these things will perish with them. If it is something that belongs to the earth, he will go to the earth. If it belongs to hell, he will go to hell. If it belongs to maya, to illusion, he will go to maya. He will never be able to extract honey.
This is what a person with a great deal of experience in the world has said. That is what the Sufi sheikh has said.