Looking for a person to speak with

Anonymous (@) 5 years, 7 months ago

I’m finding a grand split in the posts I’m reading here between people who seem to think they know what they’re talking about and people looking for answers getting fed with opinionated shit. I’ve used the search tool but can’t find anyone discussing my certain question. (Just kidding, I don’t use search tool)
Where do I strike a point in my life where I start taking responsibility for myself?
I’m functioning normally or I wouldn’t have access to the internet (I’m not at the library) or holding down an apartment (hardly), etc.
But I hate who I am.
I think death would be nice but I’m too much of a bitch to commit suicide.
Probably healthy..
I have ideals for myself, I’d like to really help people and turn my life into a great situation
But I find myself being content in the absolute of the life I currently live – there is nothing more. Fear of aging is there but is not a very moving soliloquy.A few years ago there was a light but it’s dying and I don’t experience it much anymore (I’m 25). I’m trying to experience a renaissance of soul but it isn’t happening on its own.
Is anybody feeling how I am?

April 21, 2016 at 1:58 am
Anonymous (0) (@) 5 years, 6 months ago ago

When i was in your situation i left all my friends, behaviours and started to live more pure (without vegan stuff), i mean not doing what all people were doing, anyway by myself was hard to make some advances, only believing in God helped me (i wasnt fully understanding God , i just believed), just leave all things and all “so called” teachers, usually they are not more than mediocres, real knowledge and truth keepers hide themselve from world, but they are not hidden from people that are seeking the truth. When i was in your situation i prayed God in my mind for the first time (till that momment i was more on oriental knowledge, shamanism, occultism, tarot cards, and of course was thinking we are masters of our universe – but all what i thought was crap) , in prayer i asked God to send me a man who will  explain me spiritual things, this happened 3 months later , literally somebody came to my home and connected me with someone else. And that man explained me : you will understand that no man can help you , a man can harm you more than help if operating in simple ways like socializing, explaining in words, only God can help you with your weakness, because God is Allmighty, but people are dust.

Janie Tallant (0) (@JanieT) 5 years, 6 months ago ago

I have been having somewhat of the same issue.  I just go about from day to day never really feeling like doing anything more, but at the same time, knowing there is more to life. Everything is fine,  but mediocre.  I am tired physically & completely unmotivated to do anything about it. I guess I’m lazy, although I have a career,  kids, & a husband. They are happy & doing fine. I’m not overweight, I keep a clean house, make dinners, etc. As far as anything else, I just totally lack Any motivation or energy to do anything & one week turns into the next never progressing.  I’m looking for answers,  too. I guess this isn’t much help, but at least you know that you’re not alone. 

Duncan (1) (@DJSpunks) 5 years, 6 months ago ago

I seem to be abit younger than most of ya’ll being 18 (seeing as you have familes n shit) however i have exactly the same feeling of just living with no motivation or ambition but figuring i must just be lazy but then realising im just waking up in the morn an looking to when i can go to sleep again in the eve. This and having all the thoughts and ideas possible whizzing through your head all hours of the day with no one to talk to and if you do talk everyone looks at you like your crazy but you know they just dont see things the way you so.

However, my only suggestion for you all is trip out. Drop some LSD or take shrooms it changes the world. Yeah sure theres a million arguement about bad trips and addiction and shit but its worth it. You get yourself in a chill place for the day with some friends and it wont go bad. 

Dropping, then sat for a while listening to tunes and chatting and supping a few beers feeling hyped in anticipation. Then slowly the boundries of reality crumble, your mind melts ideas philosipies desires and visual info into a soup of rich colours thoughts and feeling. Everything and any is possible in those hours, and nothing matters. Its a feeling of freedom like none else.

if you ain’t all about this then carry on scrolling but trust me its opens your mind to a world you didn’t know was there. 

nikthesack (2) (@nikthesack) 5 years, 6 months ago ago

Received last night after my 1st day of fasting til sunset, vegan, gluten free, processed sugar free diet, accompanied with heavy supplication and prayer.

“I am as liquid, gold, sunlight

I am none other than a cup of sunlight

I am her rays and his shine

His shine and her ray

I am modern as the day

Eternal as the last

I am god

Your god

The one true god

and I speak through

you as others I have

there is a divine light in you

an honor to be restored

hold fast to faith

be thyself and live as so

there is no problem in yourself

that is without (outside) god

Beseech me as you would

beseech yourself

and look inward toward

yourself (in order) to

restore the world [back]

to it’s light.

This I saith

Thus, you shall proclaimeth.”


Lyn Bird (0) (@Lynbird) 5 years, 6 months ago ago

Your problem is clear. You want to help others but do not accept who you fully are. To help others you can not be judgemental of yourself or them. So your key is just trying to figure yourself out. I think we have all been there, hating ourselves but not really even understanding who WE are. We are all experiences so think in deph about why you are are here. Who are you? And what can you do after you figure it out? Maybe you’re simply not interesting to yourself because you have this ideal self in your mind that you’ve created throughout the years. Your dream self. Who is this dream self and what can you do to become closer to it? We work through time, and our time here is very limited. Perhaps wasting it to find other like you isn’t necessary. Create a new you that isnt going to hate itself. It takes time, discomfort, and true commitment. But we truly only have one life, so try to make something out of it that is your own. Then you’ll have the confidence to showcase the true you to the world…and through that you will help others. In my story thats just how it goes. Depression is a modern/personal plague, only YOu can find the resources that will cure it :)

Ophelia (7) (@OpheliaFloating) 5 years, 6 months ago ago

I sort of understand how you feel. I was thinking of posting a discussion but when I saw yours, it was similar. I’ve done many things in my life….I had fun. But too many bad things happened along the way. Too many people I knew or were extremely close to died at very young ages. Since I was young I was obsessed with not wanting to get old. Not even wanting to grow up actually. I told people I had to find a vampire before I became 30. I left out the part that if I didn’t, I wanted to die. I can’t accept the loss of my best friend. Why couldn’t I have died instead? I read all the positive things people say and sure, I’d love to go to certain places and see things. But not enough to make the effort. I’m in a very comfortable setting, have no responsibilities at all. I feel like I grew up too fast and am now going backwards. It’s always been real easy for me to live in my head. I have very vivid dreams. I feel like 2 different people. There’s one inside me that I like but the other I hate. I think if my friend was here, I would be ok. But my life stopped when his did. I’m atheist and somehow that makes it harder.  At this point I feel like I have 2 choices- stay in this limbo, wait til I take too many pills and not wake up or take the first step and do at least one of the things I want to do. I think I’m more afraid that if I do travel, I won’t feel any different and then all hope will seem to be gone.

carlore (0) (@carlore) 5 years, 6 months ago ago

ever thought of becomming breatharian or inediate? this is what im thinking of doing at the moment http://breatharian.info/texts/InediaNonEatingFasting.pdf and its giving me quite an optimistic view of the future. “””Some people decide to practise
inedia or non-eating so that they can permanently dwell in “high vibrations”.””” i think any effort we make to improve the way we eat will help us in the long run

Photon42 (2) (@pkwarta) 5 years, 6 months ago ago

I have went through what you are going through. Many people at your age go through it too. It has been called a quarter life crisis by some. First thing to remember is to breathe. I know that sounds dumb, cliche, useless, etc. but learning the box of breathing is the first step (4 seconds in, 4 seconds hold, 4 seconds out, 4 seconds hold, repeat) This will put you in the present. The two things that people suffer the most with in everyday life are depression and anxiety. Depression is worrying too much about the past and anxiety, the future. You must always remember, that the past cannot be rewritten; the future is a journey of a thousand miles and it begins with one step; so that worrying about an infinite number of hypotheticals clouds the mind and impedes the journey. People are far too concerned with these two mediums; what mistakes they’ve made in the past and what’s coming for them/what they can do differently. This keeps you from truly enjoying the moments that you are living in the now. You need to embrace being happy, and believe that you are worthy of happiness. This will be difficult in the beginning, but the more you do it the easier it becomes. Never forget that whether you think you can or can’t do something, you’re right. 

To experience a renaissance of the soul, do for others. This will bring you more joy than anything you could buy or hope to own. Live, love and embrace life fully without a desire or drive toward acquiring and accruing things. As Justing the explorer put it, “The acquisition of things is merely a Hedonic loop in which what you buy is only good until the next thing comes along.” Be yourself, unwaveringly and unapologetically. Above all else, (Seriously, this is paramount) GET OUTSIDE, in the sun, in the rain, as much as possible. Reconnect with the forrest and you will feel your soul brimming with life again.

Anonymous (0) (@) 5 years, 6 months ago ago
mamavagina (0) (@paranjay) 5 years, 6 months ago ago

Hey out looks not factor………

Lysergamide (1) (@TriggerB) 5 years, 6 months ago ago

Not now, but I will try harder, later after dinner… :)

Johnny Pittman (0) (@Johnny-Pittman) 5 years, 5 months ago ago

‘It’s not time to make a change
Just relax, take it easy
You’re still young, that’s your fault
There’s so much you have to know
Find a girl, settle down
If you want you can marry
Look at me, I am old, but I’m happy…’

Cat Stevens

Kosta (27) (@kosta33) 5 years, 5 months ago ago

jump on a plane and go to a new place on earth you’re completey foreign too, you’ll learn to adapt to the environment and will be putting to much energy into getting from A to B to worry about what issues you might be going through. after a couple weeks you’ll love yourself for the courage you had to make the leap of faith into the unknown.

Imogen (1) (@ImogenClarke) 5 years, 5 months ago ago

There is always more, there is always light and there is always time for a renaissance of the soul. I’m not an adult yet, I’ll be honest, but I’ve experienced alot, and telling you not to want to die will be totally useless, I know. You have ‘ideals, for yourself <——- that. That right there is the light and i can tell you right now its not fading, because you’ve just admitted you have hope, and if you have hope you have a starting point. The next thing is strength,and, considering you sound as though you have good intellect, you have strength.  There have been people shackled to the ground, and they have risen up andone what we might consider ‘conquering the world’, but what to them was there mission in life to which they were totally commited, and i beleive you can do that too. Now, and this is hard, but I’m guessing you don’t know where to start in what you want to achieve. I know exactly what you mean. But if you can dedicate the time you spend feeling down, to researching what you love and finding a way to make your drream a reality you will have less time to feel like shit. Your 25. You came into this world alone, you go out that way and you dont take your materials with you. You have all this free time, that is designated to you, nothing to lose, nothing to gain but love and happiness and fulfillment, because those are the ultimate successes. Go as far as you can without surrender. You are loved and you should love yourself. Please. ‘Be the light you wish to see in the world’

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