ajsiii (@AJSiii) 6 years, 10 months ago

I am completely lost.

Now if you were an outsider looking at me you would never think it. I’m 25 years old, I live with 2 other roomates, I’m about to graduate from EMT school and should be able to land a job fairly easy. I love the career route I’ve taken even if I feel like I’m 5 years too late. I have a great family, parents are still together and I get along with both my brother and sister for the most part. 

But I still feel entirely lost. I feel unfulfilled. I look at my life and who I am and I feel like a loser. I am dealing with a gambling addiction that I need to get a hold of. I don’t think I am depressed but maybe I am to stubborn to admit it? Growing up I was raised to not really talk about feelings and always kept things bottled inside left for myself to figure out. 

I deal with some pretty ridiculous thoughts inside my head, I’m just constantly in my own head filling it with complete bullshit.  

Now I know what I need to do, I know what I should do but for some reason I don’t do it. I wish I had the answers but I don’t, which is why I am here. I’m sick and tired living this way and am looking for someone who’s been here and things got better, things got more clear. Let me state that I’m not suicidal by any means but I’m just so lost and am getting more frustrated each day.

If anyone has any advice, any plans, or steps they use or have used just to keep them more focused, more even minded please share. I could explain in greater detail how I’m feeling or what is going on if that would help you guys understand more.

November 21, 2015 at 2:06 am
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