Lost in my reflection

Meghan (@meghan) 9 years, 8 months ago

Have you ever stared at yourself in the mirror to the point where you have sort of an out of body experience? I did it for the first time when I was younger. I’d say I was about 13 or 14 years old. At this age I had a very low self esteem and would sometimes just stare at myself in the mirror wondering why I was myself. Why couldn’t I have just been born someone else- a different person with a different body. It really bothered me. One time I thought about it so hard while looking in the mirror, I actually felt like I was looking at myself through someone else’s eyes. And it didn’t just last a couple seconds. It was more like a few minutes. I didn’t feel like I was in my body anymore. It was more intense if I focused my thoughts on another person and thought to myself “Why couldn’t I have just been that person? Why am I me?”

This didn’t happen just once. I have been able to do it several times. All I had to do was concentrate for a little while, and my thoughts would make me slip away out of my body. The first time it was a little scary. I was just so overwhelmed with confusion. It was sort of painful, too. If you have never experienced this, I could easily compare it to tripping. I have only tripped once but it was a similar, less intense feeling of course. It’s very hard to explain. I’ve only told one or two people about this and they thought I was crazy and didn’t believe me.

I don’t know if I have some kind of special ability or if my insecurities were just that strong I could pop right out of my body by simply looking at my reflection. The better I’ve gotten with my confidence, the longer it takes me to have those experiences in the mirror. If you’ve never done it, try it and see if it works. :D

May 20, 2012 at 9:33 pm
LJ (38) (@lozzjd) 9 years, 8 months ago ago

strange. maybe i will have to give it a go

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Jay (87) (@jaygran7) 9 years, 8 months ago ago

@meghan, I find that when I look into the mirror now I focus more on my eyes than anything. The out of body experience that you wrote about sounds like insecurities manifesting themselves in a strange way, but nonetheless effective in reducing the feelings of association. I tripped awhile back and I could not look into the mirror without making this full face smile—it was odd, but I used to do it a lot in pictures for some reason. There is something about the mirror that I think makes people aware of themselves in a less natural way. I imagined what it would be like to look at ourselves solely through the rippling water–maybe it would be distorted physically, but so is focusing on one aspect, like I do with my eyes. I’ll have to try to really look at myself differently the next time I get out of the shower and am at a tranquil level in my mind.

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Meghan (218) (@meghan) 9 years, 8 months ago ago

@jaygran7, Yeah you could be right it might have just been my insecure thinking just taking control but it felt more intense than that. I just thought it was weird and interesting because it’s crazy what your mind can do, even when you’re not on drugs. I tried doing it last night and I couldn’t. But when I was young I’d do the mirror thing every other day. You have to focus on your thinking really hard. The reason I compared it to tripping is because of the feeling of looking at yourself through another’s eyes. It’s just so weird to think maybe we do see our face differently because we look at it everyday. Do you ever feel like someone you just met starts to look different once you get to know them? Or just see them more often?

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Anonymous (2,654) (@) 9 years, 8 months ago ago

O_O. I did that first when I was in 2nd grade. Looking in the mirror and focusing only on my face, everything else blacks out and I distort the whole image. Spooky. :) People looking different once you get to know them… maybe if you get to know them really slow for about 5 years and they’re growing older, yes. Otherwise it sounds like you’re more imagining them? A picture cannot get any different. People don’t change, but maybe your views on them do. :)

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animus (7) (@animus) 9 years, 8 months ago ago

People have told me to not look at myself when on shrooms so I never did. But I’m starting to wonder if it is just those who can’t handle that self awareness/perception on that level. Anyone have any experience with this while shrooming? On a side note I once made faces at myself and it ended up creeping me out haha. But I’ve definitely felt that almost dissociative feeling when staring for a while, it’s an intriguing experience.

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Jayyrod1 (12) (@jayyrod1) 9 years, 8 months ago ago

@meghan Ooooh you’ve stumbled across something very interesting. A “Meditative” state of experience in consciousness. I played with this when I was studying Alchemy. In fact, I stopped doing it all together from what I saw in that mirror the one time. My mind was not ready for what had to be shown. I believe what you face is the true nature of your being in THIS world. Ego. When you feel your out of body and experiencing consciousness in third person perspective your seeing the truth of what the world has taught you of your “self.”

Do a wiki-search for ‘scrying,’ and tell me if it’s similar. I’m ever so curious to hear more of what you say.

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Meghan (218) (@meghan) 9 years, 8 months ago ago

@beyond, I’ve done that before too- looking at someone or something so long, everything around it starts to get darker. This was different though. Nothing looked different, just felt different. And I guess what I meant is like once I get to know someone, if they are a good person, it makes them appear more attractive to me than they did when I saw them for the first time. Or, if I feel like they are a shitty person, or they hurt me in some way- it would be the opposite. My friends and family always give me crap for dating guys that are “less attractive than me”. But if they’re good to me and I like them, they are attractive to me. So yeah I guess you’re right it’s just my views on the person.

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Meghan (218) (@meghan) 9 years, 8 months ago ago

@animus, The out of body experience wasn’t really hard to handle, it was just frustrating and confusing. When I looked at myself in the mirror on shrooms, it was a little different. I was just thinking about how stupid I was for wearing clothes that weren’t very comfortable. And at the time I had been crying really hard so I was thinking about how ridiculous I looked with my red swollen eyes. My face wasn’t swirling around or anything like that. I just felt so raw and exposed. And I didn’t like it. But that doesn’t mean looking at yourself in the mirror while tripping could be bad for everyone. Maybe it depends on your trip.

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Meghan (218) (@meghan) 9 years, 8 months ago ago

@jayyrod1, “When you feel your out of body and experiencing consciousness in third person perspective your seeing the truth of what the world has taught you of your “self.”- I like this sentence, it describes my experience a bit better. But I’m not so sure about the scrying thing. I tried searching scrying mirror and everything I read said the mirror had to be black? And images would appear?
Another website I found said this- “Scrying is a form of divination, but is also much more than that. By gazing into a crystal, pool, mirror or other reflective medium, a Witch is able to enter altered mind states and gain access beyond the veil.” I don’t think I’m a witch so I don’t know about this stuff lol. My aunt was supposedly a witch at one point and practiced black magic. I’m not sure if I believe in that kind of thing.

I think this was something that was all in my head. I hadn’t tried in awhile until last night after posting this. And I tried today, as well. I just can’t do it anymore. I think it’s because I have a much better sense of who I am as a person. I’m a thousand times more comfortable with myself. My mentality is obviously much different than it was six or seven years ago. And maybe it’s also because I don’t believe in God anymore so instead of wondering “Why did God make me this tiny little person that always gets made fun of?” Now I just think, “I am who I am soooo….it is what it is.” :)

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Jayyrod1 (12) (@jayyrod1) 9 years, 8 months ago ago

@Meghan The truth is, “You are who you are, and it is what it is.” I love it! My truth is that ,”I am. And that is all I claim to be.”

I think it may be too coincidental that your aunt is a witch and you can look into your past/present/future with such ease. I think it’s a gift.
You say it may all be in your head, and it very well may be. But only you can say what is real and what isn’t. I know people who’ve looked in the mirror and never see themselves the same. For I am one. But whatever the experience; I only hope it leads me to enlightenment.
I do believe we are all headed to the same place, yet we choose our own path.
Physically, reflectively, metaphorically, and figuratively; We all must face the one in the mirror. Overcoming our ego to be our self.
A fine gift it is indeed.

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yoinkie (1,498)C (@yoinkie) 9 years, 8 months ago ago

@animus, the people who told you not to look in the mirror while tripping were just not at peace with their trips. There is nothing wrong with looking in the mirror while tripping, it gives you introspectives into your face that you have never seen before. You might not want to look at it too long, as you can probably get lost in your face for a long time. People also question their looks, become focused on anything negative on their face which may cause a bad trip. But if you go into it and just look and enjoy the presence of your own face, you should be fine. Its just like anything else, anything can turn your trip bad if you allow it to. Just remember you control the trip, the trip doesnt control you.

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Mike Wuest (510) (@mikeyw829) 9 years, 8 months ago ago

That sounds like depersonalization.

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Meghan (218) (@meghan) 9 years, 8 months ago ago

@jayyrod1, Thank you! :) I never really thought I had any sort of gift. What do you mean you never saw yourself the same? And I agree with you. I guess something I have learned from the extreme insecurity is that my body is just a body, and I really don’t have very much control over it. I mean I take care of myself- I’m a healthy/clean person. But I’m just really small for my age and being young and in high school it was very frustrating. The only thing I can really control is being a good person. I would rather focus on that instead of how I look. But I think you were right about my experience in the mirror being a form of meditation.

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Meghan (218) (@meghan) 9 years, 8 months ago ago

@mikeyw829, I read a bit about depersonalization. It sounds similar to my experience, except it was kind of different because I wasn’t panicking and I could control it. I made it happen when I concentrated, rather than the feeling just coming out of nowhere.

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FindYourGreatness (345)C (@jpete011) 9 years, 8 months ago ago

The mind is a powerful thing. It can make all kinds of perceptions and illusions that seem 100% real. Just think of the dreams you’ve had, probably thought those were real during them, when in reality you are just a sleeping body lying on a bed. So when you used all your focus to ‘be’ someone else, your mind actually turned that thought into ‘semi-reality’ for you and that caused you to feel like you were literally out of your body. Pretty impressive stuff, although may not be the healthiest of thoughts to be having.
Next time you meditate try focusing really hard on something a little more positive/constructive!

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Mike Wuest (510) (@mikeyw829) 9 years, 8 months ago ago

@meghan, interesting.. I really don’t know then. Maybe you entered into a different state of consciousness temporarily or something

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Meghan (218) (@meghan) 9 years, 8 months ago ago

@jpete011, Lol I agree! I was really young then, I have changed a lot. I have a much more positive state of mind :) but haven’t been able to experience anything that powerful in awhile.

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oniverse (413) (@jneggleston) 9 years, 7 months ago ago

I’ve totally experienced this! I think it’s similar to saying a word so much that it loses it’s meaning. Depersonalizing yourself, maybe.

The body exists only to verify one’s own existence.

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Meghan (218) (@meghan) 9 years, 7 months ago ago

@jneggleston, Yeah that makes sense! Can you still do it? That’s pretty cool that you’ve experienced it, too. It’s so hard to describe, isn’t it?

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oniverse (413) (@jneggleston) 9 years, 7 months ago ago

@meghan I’ve never legitimately tried it, I just had the experience by chance. Yeah very surreal haha.

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Woll (0) (@wollanooo) 9 years, 5 months ago ago

i am really happy of finding this discussion, the same happened to me a number of times, but never had the will to understand why. it is described well by @Meghan, so now i am interested in this depersonalization thing…

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