Love and Sex, can they be separated.

 Anonymous (@)7 years, 5 months ago

Sex and love are two separate feelings I think. Love can be very involved with sex but its not necessarily always going to be both of those things at the same time. My example is, my ex gf, I love her dearly, yet I do think alot about just doing her again, and that’s somewhat depressing. As much as I’d love to lick and rub and fuck her ( pardon the details) I feel those ideals really retract from how I truly feel about her. I really just want to hold her hand, take her to the park, help her achieve her own goals in life and be her best friend, and I don’t think I can prove that’s what I value if sex is involved in it at all. But if I do see her again I’m not sure how to resit those urges, espicially if she has the same urges too. How do you tell someone that you love them with all your heart, yet deny any kind of sexual advances with out making them feel hurt or wondering if you don’t really love them.

April 19, 2014 at 4:50 pm
Anonymous (4) (@) 7 years, 5 months ago ago

i know i’m full of insanity :)

Almeida (304) (@xetado) 7 years, 5 months ago ago

Why can’t sex be an expression of love? While some people find it rude to think that way, sex can be the most high expression of love. To share your most deep intimacy with someone else, especially if you love this person, shouldn’t be a big deal.

Anonymous (175) (@) 7 years, 5 months ago ago

I don’t think many would rationally oppose that.

Sex is more than simply an expression of love.

LucidDreamer (11) (@KanonM) 7 years, 5 months ago ago

I would have to say that love is only the manifestion of a thought that originated as the born in innate feeling that we call “lust”. That feeling is an innate born in trait that drives all human beings.

Marlon (97) (@shoeopener) 7 years, 5 months ago ago

Not all. There’s asexuality and deeper drives, like staying alive to be lustful. Lust is a manifestation of thought about an urge. If lust is an innate born trait babies would be having babies. As babies grow up, depending on the environment they live, a sexual drive will indicate that the environment is healthy. But sex and lust aren’t feelings.

Knowledge. Keeps erections high.

Love is a physical feeling though, it can be felt with your stomach.

LucidDreamer (11) (@KanonM) 7 years, 5 months ago ago

It can be felt in your heart, and in your legs, and in your whole body if you know the right person.
I like the way you explain it Marlon, it makes more sense to me than my own post.

Anonymous (64) (@) 7 years, 5 months ago ago

I think you tell them by sending your ex-gf the post above word-for-word. Sex and Love can be separate, but are so much better when CoMBiNeD. The love you have is pure and sex combined with that purity is transcendent so I don’t think the feelings you have are lustful, I think they are spiritual. Fight for a while to get her back. Your surrender to the purity of love is obvious. Focus on that light. Peace.

Faithflower (27) (@peacelove) 7 years, 5 months ago ago

Why would you deny sexual advances anyway, if you both feel comfortable, sex can be an expression of love. I think you mean feeling lust towards someone and feeling romantic idealized love for someone. I also felt confusing, because lust can be just lust or hardcore, while love can be romantic and caring and stuff. And yes some girls feel offended if you don’t feel aroused about them anymore, as if you don’t feel love, but love and lust are two different things. There are different kinds of love, and love can be expressed in a caring non sexual way (hugging for example), but i don’t see the point for “restriction” if both people are having the same urges and have the possibility to rock each others world. Maybe you should strive for both at the same time, it does suck if both have to control urges for no reason, only because you love her so much you dont want to spoil it with having sex lol..some females would feel disappointed with that kind of attitude, especially if she also has those urges…and if you do that too often the sexual desire may die eventually..

Kidd (1,059) (@kidd) 7 years, 5 months ago ago

Some people are asexual, so that answers one question.

On the personal note, I think it’s far more important to respect someone’s decision not to have sex than their “urge” to have sex. Otherwise, to be honest, this feels a little rapey. “I’m not sure how to resist those urges?” C’mon, dude.

I mean, if we always acted on our urges, we’d be pretty shitty people. Example being if you don’t actually care for someone who cares for you, yet you have sex with them anyway, you might just be leading them on. Just because you really like someone, doesn’t mean you want to have sex with them all the time on top of that.

Emily (12) (@ekich) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

@AreNotLost, I totally agree! You’ve gotta just communicate exactly how you’re feeling. If you don’t want to have sex because you think it’s a lustful urge and you’re trying to separate your true love for her from your lust, then this should be easily understood and even admired when communicated in an open and honest way. I would just make sure that you stand your ground on it–women are really powerful when it comes to sex, and I feel like you’re going to be seeing a very different side of this girl by throwing “no sex” on the table. It sounds like you’ve had a lot of sex with one another and have probably used one another a bit for sex–that happens a lot toward the end of a relationship. If she really loves you, she will respect your request and give you the time you need. If she doesn’t, she will come onto you hardcore–there’s little more empowering for a woman in a situation like this than taking a man’s power through sex. And if that happens, she’s not the one for you–and in seeing her in this light, without sex, there should be no question about it.

Sorry if I’m a little late on replying here–I know these things tend to unravel quickly! Hope this helps though–best of luck!

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