Love your woman

 Immortality (@jjj333)6 years, 3 months ago

Obviously I’m not a relationship expert, but there’s something about the relationships and experiences that I’ve been through that give me some perspective on things I would definitely do different given the chance at another marriage some day. After getting divorced and going through some tough relationships, here’s the advice I wish I would have had..

Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important sacred treasure that you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in love.

Protect your own heart. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to recieve her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

Fall in love over and over again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person that you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

Always see the best in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. IF you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to have this woman as your own.

It’s not your job to change or fix her.. your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

Take full accountability for your own emotions. It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

Never blame your wife if you get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings, take time to get present to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. YOu were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them.. when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

Allow your woman to just be. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know tht you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you.. DON’T RUN AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

Be silly… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. LAughter makes everything easier.

Fill her soul everyday…learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 things taht make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority to make her feel like a queen.

Be present. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it take to clear your head so that when you are with her you are full WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

Be willing to take her sexually, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

Don’t be an idiot… and don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try no to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try not to be stupid.

Give her space… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to tale time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…(okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

Be vulnerable… you don’t have to have it all togetehr. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

Be fully transparent. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to open your heart and let her in when you don’t know if she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

Never stop growing together… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is alwats fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.
Dont’ worry about money. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strengths to win.

Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

Always choose love. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is th eonly advice you need. If this is the guiding principle throgh which all your choices are governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your relationship. Love will always endure.

In the end marriage isn’t about happily ever after. It’s about work. And a committment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come. Marriage is life, and it will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are just a few lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I love love, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find any wisdom in these words whatsoever, share it with those young husbands/boyfriends/lovers whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

Men- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE. Commit to being an epic lover. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you. Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.

April 3, 2014 at 2:14 am
KushKitty (9) (@KushKitty) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

This is wonderful.

[Hidden]
Marlon (97) (@shoeopener) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

Wonderful, indeed and aligns with my views.

[Hidden]
Marlon (97) (@shoeopener) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

You might appreciate this.

http://i.imgur.com/jSlu7E6.jpg

It’s a miracle surviving around debauchery, cheaters and people with “special needs”. Or maybe real happiness really isn’t for weak people. O_O Epiphany strike.

[Hidden]
Immortality (456) (@jjj333) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

Magnificent!

[Hidden]
Anonymous (107) (@) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

sweet and strong :)

[Hidden]
josephm (772) (@josephm) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

solo4lyfe

[Hidden]
Meghan (26) (@marymac1183) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

Reading this from the perspective of a female coming out of a very painful relationship… I am grateful for your insights. I learn more and more that there is in fact a divine purpose for a relationship. That your partner IS a reflection of your every wound, and the process of healing those brings possibilities for exponential growth. Things that while alone you can brush under the rug, are exaggerated in a relationships… so that you can’t ignore the dark places but must shine a light on them, transform them. It’s a beautiful privilige to Love someone. But both people must have the same dream in mind for it to work. I think that is where we so often lose the ‘plot’. It’s not about making each other happy, but making each other conscious.

[Hidden]
Immortality (456) (@jjj333) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

Its very hard to give someone all of you and in turn not get that back.. I am in no way trying to put women on a pedestal, only implying they should be treated as the delicate, beautiful carriers of life that you are. And when a man lets a woman be a woman, makes her feel like a woman, that woman usually takes care of her man. We need each other.

[Hidden]
Meghan (26) (@marymac1183) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

Must say this brought a tear to my eye. Yes, we do need each other, human beings are an inter-dependent entity. And we do mirror to make each other conscious… but probably the most effective way of doing this is being allowed to be who you are, and allowing yourself to be vulenerable, because you know it is safe to be… chivalry needn’t be dead! :)

[Hidden]
Anonymous (53) (@) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

Hindu proverb: Regard every woman as your mother and every girl as your sister (until they give you permission to do otherwise)

[Hidden]
JonH (1,139)C (@IJesusChrist) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

Well, I don’t like the “Your woman” phrase. She’s not “mine” she doesn’t belong to me, we are just together. I know you probably don’t mean to sound like that, but I think that phrase carries a lot of weight.

Aside from that, yeah. I’ve realized men and women need completely different things in a relationship, and that we are fooling ourselves if we think otherwise.

Being with a girl I love, I was totally fine just being alone, being myself, doing my own thing. I am happy alone, but I’m happier with her. She didn’t get that / doesn’t understand it. She’s said it feels unfair that I can be OK without her while she can’t. I find it a bit selfish, but it isn’t really like that. My perspective is if she’s happy, I’m happy. But hers is that she just wants me to love her so much that it hurts when she’s gone, and I’m just not like that.

You gotta love someone so much that it hurts. That’s when you know its worth it :)

[Hidden]
Jox (0) (@joxrox) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

Beautiful

[Hidden]
Koko (1) (@kasey81) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

This is probably random but are you perchance a pisces?

[Hidden]
Marlon (97) (@shoeopener) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

I’m pisces. Why random? The fish doesn’t think because the fish knows everything.

[Hidden]
Immortality (456) (@jjj333) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

Gemini =)

[Hidden]
YHVH (462) (@spaceghost) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

Copy and Paste. Please state your source. I’ve definitely read this elsewhere.

[Hidden]
YHVH (462) (@spaceghost) 6 years, 3 months ago ago
[Hidden]
YHVH (462) (@spaceghost) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

@trek79 or @monkeyzazu the OP, no matter the quality, has been plagerized. Sure it’s a good article, but show credit where it’s due @jjj333. Trying to pass it off as your own is just lame and misleading. I can provide proof if needed, idk if plagerism is a big deal around here or not.

[Hidden]
Sarah (113) (@smorris926) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

Reading this from a girl’s perspective, it’s easy to fall into the “wow what a charming article” feeling…but honestly, I think the same needs to be said about loving a man. I will not love my man the same way he loves me (we both need very different things), but it’s important to remember that both partners are PARTNERS in a relationship. It always takes two.

Love this article very much. Thank you for broadening my horizons.

[Hidden]
Anonymous (107) (@) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

True. It’s very princess-centered but that’s just one side of it :)

[Hidden]
JonH (1,139)C (@IJesusChrist) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

Make a love your man article :)

[Hidden]
Immortality (456) (@jjj333) 6 years, 3 months ago ago

Listen people.. I’ve been a member of this site for quite some time. I have a previous post stating that most, but not all material I post is my own. I don’t state every time I post something that isn’t my own. This original post is not. I have thousands of articles and subjects that I’ve either done myself or saved in my folders, If needed I can provide the exact document this came from. I don’t find it necessary, the truth is the truth regardless how it comes out, and all out material is ours to share with each other. I’m certainly not looking for any recognition or praise, even from my own works. If these msgs touch even one person, its a win. Anypne who wants the original copy of this, pm me. Thanks guys. <3 =)

[Hidden]
MonkeyZazu (1,865)M (@monkeyzazu) 6 years, 2 months ago ago

But when you know where it originally came from and don’t cite it, it is plagiarism. Even when you don’t have that information, you still need to express that the article isn’t yours as it’s being posted. Depending on the article’s source, it could be and normally is copyrighted. If you use the contents of a copyrighted article without citing it properly, it could be seen as copyright infringement. This also goes for websites that state “All Rights Reserved” somewhere on the page. If the owner finds their work on someone else’s site and it’s not cited in someway giving them original credit for it, they could potentially file a suit for infringement. I’d say that’s only for extreme cases though. Normally they’ll just send a DMCA removal notice telling the site owner to remove the content. And I kind of doubt, specifically regarding this situation, someone would care enough to do that for finding their article not being cited on a forum post or something. But because the article posted in the forum potentially takes traffic away from the owner’s site, they could get a little uppity about it.

And as @spaceghost said, it is a little misleading and takes away from the original author. Just to give you a scenario: Say a person reads this article. They are moved by the writer’s words and are deeply touched by them. This compels the reader to seek out more content from the author in hopes of relating and getting that same feeling from more of the author’s work. But, since the article wasn’t cited, and you didn’t explain to the readers that this article isn’t yours, they believe “you” to be the author and will seek out more of “your” work, which as stated previously, misleads them and takes away from the “original” author.

So, for future reference, please cite articles that you did not originally create. It is necessary :) A simple link or name reference will do. Think of it as possibly giving readers a link to even more inspiration.

[Hidden]
Anonymous (0) (@) 6 years, 2 months ago ago

Just perfect. I am in awe. It would be a gem if a woman finds a man like this. For a moment I feel like as if I am reading some Nicholas Sparks’ stuff. Good luck! :)

[Hidden]
load more