I am going to try to put this into words the best I can, Last night I took two, maybe three hits of LSD. I have tripped countless times before, but have slowed down as Iv’e gotten older. Last night I traveled much farther into my own psyche than I have ever gone before, feeling as if I had visited new dimentions beyond anything that had been a part of my conscious reality before. I saw some things that make me question my ability to come back. My own mind taunting myself into drifting off completely, and I started panicking.
For, it must have been three straight hours my body was shaking uncontrollably and I felt like I may never fit into it again. I straight up saw the devil, or what a representation of the devil would be and I freaked. I asked my friends for advise and consoling and even though I couldn’t pin down the reality of what was happening I calmed down, and the image of the devil came back. So instead of panicking I stared it straight into the eyes until it morphed into a doe and i was overcome with the most sensational warm feeling of empowerment.
I do not consider myself religious however spirituality is something I value in my own way. I have no idea why this image of the devil may be taunting me but I don’t feel it’s going to disappear.
I hold strong to the ideas that you should dive into your consciousness to truly understand your inner self, but after last night I am worried that there are stones that should never be un-turned. I heard once that you should never hesitate when delving into your own mind because there is nothing to fear from the pure self.
Do you think there is a too far, or are there certain corners of the mind that should be left alone? Anyone have any suggestions to getting back and controlling the fear?
The answer is in your trip. When you finally faced the devil you saw, instead of panicking, you faced it, and then it wasnt so threatening. If you want to get to know yourself, dont fear what you will find. Face it head on, and you will come closer and closer to understanding yourself. Your mind isnt as threatening as it seems.
@araeya09 I don’t believe there are certain corners of your mind that should be left alone, I mean in the end it is your mind. So why not explore it and find out everything you can. Who knows, maybe next trip, or after some deep meditation/contemplation of what you went through another part of your mind will be able to explain the devil part.
I can relate… and here’s what i think
One year ago, to this week, I was taking mushrooms, 25ci, and LSD. I tripped the month of December and took six tabs of acid on New Year’s. I met Death, the Devil, had more knowledge of the Holy Spirit/Divine Mother/Tachyon Energy than I have ever did before. I reached new levels of my psyche just like you. I stopped popping into portals though and gained back my consciousness from blacking out psychosis for two weeks straight. I’ve learned the natural laws of respecting Earth and humanity. I dove deeper than I have ever before. I’ve seen visions of Styx and other outworlds like Heaven and Hell.
I don’t think there’s ever too much to learn. I pray and meditate daily to keep in touch with GOD and other entities that have helped guide me on my journey. I just recently got an interest in Reiki and Crystal healing techniques that I would like to strengthen to help better myself and those around me.
Keep meditating on your trip, figure out why you saw what you saw, and how it impacted you.
When I took an ecstasy I did not like it at all! I’m not one to loose control but when I am under the influence I’m hopeless! I don’t have control over myself and it terrifies me but what I come to realize that when I’m on it the inner me comes out, I mean the inner me that I feel I can’t accept because society doesn’t like it so I become paranoid and feel like everybody is against me!…. It’s weird or I’m weird but you know I think that when you want to enter that high state you have to be ready to accept everything including the most important thing and that is yourself.
Hey brother, SinD Rae
What has happened, has happenend and is meant to be.
I have heard of similar stories when people have taken Ayahuasca (devil, freaking out, lack of control etc.)- and it seems to be an internal battle that the individual experiences with the outcome of a final defeat. You seem to have evoked something visually (devil image, a mind illusion; not part of truth) which many people are also experiencing now, through the dark illusions they bring to their human relationships.
I would see your state as something temporary. Scientifically, it would be post-reactions you are experiencing. Anyway, if it makes you more uncomfortable (say over weeks to months), then I would consider the feminine voice of the sweet Mother Nature, Ayahuasca, as a way in shining Light to balance your internal peace.
See this also as a opportunity to change some habits you may have been thinking upon lately, as well as seeing 2014 as a brand new manifested year to celebrate and share your LovePeace with the people around you :-)
Everything will be alright. I am sure this will only be a lesson for you to grow on in the coming future.
I don’t think there is such a thing is “too far” when it comes to the mind. It is only in our mind to think it is “too far” because we fear what is “unknown” to us. But if you actually think of it as positive journey into the “self” then this “too far” fear will go away.
As to the “devil”, this is perfectly normal. I have had trips where I was trying to make a “deal” with the devil in order to return to my body. I was so scared of the “unknown” or if I had done some damage to my brain. But honestly, that is PART of your subconscious because you are your own worst “enemy” in a sense so you eventually face you who is the devil essentially. You have the potential to be good and bad (yin and yang) and you need both aspects in order to form this reality.
Siddhartha Gautama Shakyamuni or “The Buddha” faced the devil or “desire” when he was meditating under the Boddhi tree. He was faced with desires and fears which would stop him from getting the answers he wanted but he essentially realized that the “devil” was no other than himself.
When you are entering your psyche, there are areas that you aren’t comfortable enough to cope with. When you force yourself to do this (you take the drug to induce this), then you experience this horrific, terrible, paranoid fears that just seem childish when you are not under the influence. It is just your ego trying to prevent you to look into your soul in a sense.
with shakes for 3 hrs it does not sound like you took lsd. it is too common to see nbome chemicals passed as lsd. 25i in particular gives me violent leg shakes almost like convulsions with a distinct pins and needles sensation in my hands and legs.