Help! Is anyone else in the same boat right now? I met my soulmate at 19, and I am now 20 & over-thinking everything. Am I too young to settle down? I love him, he is a great fit for me, and a piece of me would be lost without him… but yet I can’t shake these thoughts of taking off and leaving him behind to live a crazy single life. & I don’t mean, crazy single by “fooling” around, I mean that I want to travel and go on life-changing adventures, meet exciting people, expand my knowledge, and ultimately figure out what my passion is. I feel so lost not knowing what I want to do with my life, yet being so in love and attatched to my partner now that I’m scared that I will mess something up big if I leave. But then I sit & doubt even leaving in the first place, that I’m in search of something that I already know. He tells me that the grass is greener on the other side because it’s fertilized with bullshit, but I can’t stop being obsessed with wanting more. I admire how content he is, while I am going crazy & am never completely content.
It really sounds to me like you already know what you need to do, but are afraid to leave your comfort zone. When you start having these thoughts and ignoring them, they don’t go away, they just go to your subconscious and start growing and create all sorts of other problems and become harder to deal with. I know it’s hard to have faith in your feelings (especially in new situations), but when it comes to these things, those feelings tend to be right.
Once you do what your soul is calling you to do, all sorts of magical things will happen. But you have to give it a chance first, and stop second guessing your intuition. Go be your own person and travel and do all the stuff you dream of. If this relationship is meant to be, it will survive all that stuff and you can reconnect later. But some serious resentment can build up if you give up your desires in order to make a relationship work that does not fit with those desires. I am speaking from personal experience.
I think you’re right… and that I already know the answer, but I am scared to leave my comfort zone. I don’t want to leave all the good things I have with this person, but I also don’t want to feel limited in what I can do. We’ve already been together for 1 yr and 4 months, and I don’t want to drag it on if I’m just going to end up leaving, but the thing is is that I’m just not ready to do it. I still very much love him. He is the person who helped me break away from my controlling family, and has lit a fire inside of my soul that’ll never die. The arguments started when I suggested that I wanted to leave for 3 months to work on a trail crew. His deal is that he said he’s not stopping me, but isn’t comfortable being in a long distance relationship and it would basically be the death of us. I mention going for just a week, and he still isn’t happy about it. So, I think the first small step I need to take, is just leaving for a week regardless of what he says, just to see if I truly miss him and want to come back, or if I am happy out on my own again without him. The thing is, is that I don’t even know because we havn’t been apart for more than 3 days since being together, and I can’t remember the last time we were actually apart for any time. And, I figured, as much as it hurts, if he doesn’t want to be together after me leaving for a week, than he isn’t the one for me because that’s a damn stupid reason to break up with someone.