This morning I was walking to the train station on my way to work when I was asked for change (this of course happens regularly as I live on the city) by a mentally handicapped man. I was grabbing some coins when he asked me for a hug. It really hit me hard. Being a young woman alone in the street I declined and he was lovely about it and talked to me for a few more seconds before I had to leave. It brought tears to my eyes and I feel so horrible that so many mentally handicapped people get pushed onto the street in a country that should have the ability to help them. I don’t know if there is a question in here or not it’s really just something that touched me so deeply I had to share that moment.
Any thoughts on what I have said please comment.
There were prolly other reasons Sasho, don’t be a snarky now. It took her courage to post this so lay off. I can see where you would be intimidated LJ @lozzjd
My experiences in the mental health field has taught me that people who can not keep up with society can not live in it and those born that way dance a fine line between functioning and not (based on IQ) There are group homes, though most would rather maintain their independence.. It is the sad truth. Rather then move to a place less stressful, it is easier for some people to become as others many perceive as “bottom feeders” but for wealth of better phrases we say homeless peoples.
I always give encouraging words, or know off hand where shelters would be. I say “sorry no change, but i know of a place that helps individuals in crisis or food pantry”
You sound like you could really help, someone- and don’t feel bad about not hugging this person, they maybe handy capped, but even when I worked with them you learn their boundaries are close to zero. :( You have to be clear about what you want, you want to help them, know how to help them. You don’t wanna hug- Let them know you are uncomfortable politely at first. They may even understand you saying your not the “hugging” type. (say it nicely).
Hope this helps, pm me if you need anymore advice. It is easy for kyle to say hug a random stranger you think is off- he is a dude and far less susceptible to being exploited :/
@everymorningbornfromtheashes, Thank god homeless people have people like you giving them encouraging words.
I simply asked this because sometimes people don’t recognize muscular dystrophy caused by permanent alcoholism so their physical health is obviously damaged, mental illness isn’t as obvious.
@beyond, Indeed it is great that there can be something to take from anyone and everyone.
Ah, while this is true, permanent alcoholism is recognized as a mental illness. And as such if someone doesn’t feel comfortable around them they are most likely able to gauge this. I guess I’m bias because it is obvious to me. XD It sounded like he didn’t have a boundary so I assumed along with her there was an impairment. Though not concrete, a mental one. Because people should Typically see stress/ uncomfortable expressions/ body language and know when to ease off.
But I see what your saying, sorry to mis-understand where you were coming from. :)
@kylerbbrowning, No? Just think it is silly to make someone feel silly for being uncomfortable.
Like hey, I hate spiders. You tell me ROLL IN THE SPIDERS YOLO
I’m gonna think your rude XD
but you shouldn’t care cause “fuck society”
I don’t hate on guys, I feel for people. And think hugging is like praying, aww mushy gushy.
Why not ACTUALLY help. And send people off in the right direction?
@everymorningbornfromtheashes, i see,,right your a homeless person chillingout on a bench like you always do everyday, getting dirty looks from society(fuck society) allll the time, then a random person comes and gives you a hug,how would that make you feel? now that your in the homeless persons shoes?
Do bare in mind this is just my perspective..
@kylerbbrowning, I suppose this could be impacting yes, I get that it is your opinion. No doubt. But then she obviously sounds uncomfortable with the idea.
(why do you assume society always always always gives them dirty looks?)
Now, I’m gonna throw a scenario at ya and challenge you cause you so nicely did for me :)
(I’m part of society well say)
“spare some change sir?”
then I say, honestly I don’t. :( (because not everyone carries change)
then I say, but hey I know of a food pantry where you can get help and stamps and
this place is hiring, and this place has a free meal day.
The person will be overjoyed because uhm, 25 cents doesn’t equal food and help.
AND all the hugs in the world don’t feed a single person, or bring home a pay stub.
I get it I get it though- you think a hug is going to change their whole world upside down.
Mental illnesses don’t allow you to always step up sadly.
But I still value your opinion. :)
or rather sunny disposition hahaha.
@kylerbbrowning, I guess I question your seriousness sorry. Haha. Well, just be careful hugging random strangers. And yeah I think you agreed with me even though I “Don’t get it”.
Hard to tell. Either way, maybe something else to take into consideration, while your hugging them. There is more then one way to help. I will admit, if I feel comfortable with the person, I may hug them, knowing what you’ve told me. Only if I feel that way though haha.
Later now :)
@everymorningbornfromtheashes, most people probably are nice and honestly want a hug. But you’d hate to hug a pickpocket, or even worse, a junkie, or that one guy who is actually crazy enough to kill.
I’m not trying to promote paranoia, I’m just saying, be a little streetwise.
@lozzjd, I also live in Australia, living in a smaller city of Townsville, we dont have as big a issue of homelessness (however we do still have a population of unhoused people). what you need to recognise with Australian government is, we are very generous with giving out welfare to people in need, a homeless person only need to go into centreline and prove they are indeed homeless and are not able to change those circumstances without some support. There are abundant facilities available to the homeless in Australia, if they are willing to access it (the question is, do the homeless people actually know this, or do they feel completely hopeless and have given up) Now however i am not saying that Australian system is flawless, because obviously there are still people living on the streets. So its important to consider why these people are homeless in the first place, and there are many reason such as mental illness, drug and alcohol problems, domestic violence (women and children) and even cultural reasons, so we need to focus on the problem that is causing these people to be without homes in the first place, instead of the effect that is having homeless people. Now that solution and answer isnt as easy, however if beloved Mr Campbell Newman stopped taking away all the funding for HSO than it would be much easier :)
@beyond, no I have a friend who works with the mentally handicapped and I have met a lot of mentally handicapped people: it was the way he talked, moved, acted it’s quite easy to tell the difference between a drunk/junkie and a mentally handicapped person.
@kylerbbrowning, you know what – I regretted not hugging him but I am in generally quite a wary/anxious person so even if it was a lovely old man asking I would have felt funny about it. But yes he clearly needed affection :(