I just don’t know what to fucking do anymore.
I’m in my first semester in college, and I am doing horribly. I can’t stay concentrated on my schoolwork, and although im learning a lot, my grades aren’t doing well, which means failure in the eyes of everyone else. My job at the women’s center is bullshit. All we do is discuss feminist issues but rarely do anything. everyone at my university is rich and fake and I am so done with hearing about greek fucking life and the amazing cabins everyone seems to have in 5080809 states. Im so fucking done. I dont have any real friends, my grades are sucking more and more, and in order to relieve myself I started drinking heavier and now have made some stupid decisions resulting in me feeling worthless. I just don’t know what to do to refocus on my schoolwork. Everything seems to not make sense, and i dont see the use or need in doing what i do on an everyday basis.
I am so lost.
Any advice from anyone who has been in my shoes before?
The topic ‘My life is falling to pieces.’ is closed to new replies.
@paolavecuriosidad, well I can say the first semester of college is the hardest. Trying to find the right group of people, trying to balance work and play. I failed out of my first semester and was forced to go home to community college. Best thing that happened to me because it forced me to get to act together and get better grades. I had a 0.6 my first semester and managed to jump to a 3.3 the next semester. Maybe that’s not the right college. Maybe college itself isn’t for you. Maybe you would do better at a small community college or taking online classes. You don’t have to go to some huge prestigious school to get a degree or to get educated. I would argue I learned more at my community college than the bigger universities I attended
Thank you so much hutch, for your genuine response. im so stressed. im at a university notorious for its greek life/spoiled student stigma. I am only here because of a diversity scholarship which gave me a full ride, and yes, i should be grateful for it, but I cant deny the fact that im surrounded by individuals who are nothing like me. i feel alienated. lost. inconceivably stressed. i would love to go to a community college, but i cannot afford it. this university’s scholarship is literally the only reason im in school at all. I just cant figure out what to do. @reinvented2012
Go there. Click “download” (next to the “share with friends” button). It’s a .pdf file of a book called “The 4 Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. It helped me years ago, and I’ve recommended it to numerous people throughout the last few years, all of whom have said it helped them immensely. I believe it’s a book that can help anyone and everyone, regardless of your life circumstances. Do yourself a favor and read it. The best thing about it is it’s an easy read and you can easily read it in a day. It’s not a long book. Hope you enjoy.
@chodebalm, great book!
@paolavecuriosidad, don’t say you can’t afford it. My girlfriend got school loans and worked as a waitress to pay for her college (masters degree from Towson University in MD) and books all herself while still maintaining a social life. It’s possible, albeit hard. Good luck with making your decision. Try your best to find like mixed people. Maybe start a club and put up fliers all over campus for people to attend.
@paolavecuriosidad, Sad, been there, it sucked, i just tried to focus on school i became some sort of workaholic for school, because everything else sucked and i tried to get better grades by trying harder, i got my degree in the end so it worked, but well everything else just sucked i know the feeling..maybe you can find some hobby that is productive for you so you can put your mind to anything else productive so you can recharge your energy, exercise does help a lot or swimming or creative arts..i don’t drink so that would be the most destructive thing to do, there are other productive outlets for feeling lost..
i can also say that in the end it doesnt matter how other people perceive you, but it matters how you yourself think about yourself, so you can try to invest time in yourself by self reflection, finding something that you are good at, asking for help in homework, making real friends outside school, finding a hobby, people you make friends with dont really have to be like you, there can be common ground, i made friends with people who are not really like me, but it worked because we had to work together for projects, and then you get to know people from different backgrounds, so you get to know their personality too when you work with them on projects..
more people go through some kind of phase where everything feels like useless and lost, trying to meditate can also help clear your mind and knowing what you really want and how you are going to get there.
What kind of stupid decisions did you make that made you feel worthless? Maybe that is the core issue, feeling worthless is not the way to go really, you have to value yourself for making the best decision you could make at that moment in time, if you didn’t knew any better or if you just couldn’t make another decision..
Really.. Reallllllly… C’mon. San D isn’t that big of a deal. And if you really can’t cut it, then drop the fuck out go work at McDonald’s and get my order right. You got a full ride, do you know how many other people would kill just to get a chance to be where you are? And you fucking complain? Nah. Not for one second should you even be complaining. You drank too much and fucked up? Your fault. Can’t make friends? Your fault. None of this shit falls on anyone other than yourself, you want to make it better, then make it better. Get up in the morning, get your shit done, and stay focused on the fact that you have it good. There is a single mom working two jobs and going to school just to get by who would fucking love to take your place.
Then quit. Drop out. Live with the regret. If you really want something, you do whatever it takes. You justify any means. And if you can’t, you make excuses. I won’t listen to how your life is so hard, or how college is just “so much”.. yeah. It’s a fucking wake up call. You are going to have to bust your ass. Don’t make some lame ass excuse, just get it done.
@paolavecuriosidad, life is hard. It is also full of expectations that rarely ever get met… yet we always expect them to be met.
I don’t know if you will find the answers. Sometimes, no, most of the time, we don’t have real answers. We just get use to our situations and move on.
What is it you would want to happen?
Start doing. Write down where you want to be in one month, write down everything needed to be done everyday to get there. Make a list that you can check off everyday. Examples: wake up early, go for a run, learn a new skill, eat healthy, don’t drink, meet new people, exercise, meditate, read a worthy book, study hard for 1 hour, etc.. Get them all done everyday. Feed your body and mind healthy shit and stay busy.
@paolavecuriosidad, i’m sorry but I whole heartedly agree with @vanguard, on this one. Just the other day, an old friend of mine was telling me how he worked 15 hour days for an entire year to afford one year of college tuition. And he was telling me how rewarding it was, and how happy he is to finally be learning and studying what he always wanted to. And here you are, with a full ride scholarship, and complaining about things that are completely under your control. My friend couldnt afford shit, so he had to basically give up any sort of a life in dedication to a job so he could afford school. Yet you feel your life is falling to pieces because of first world problems like the fact that you drink too much or cant make any friends(both completely under your control).
Also, complaining about how you cant stand the people around you talking about their cabins in different states is quite hypocritical. You are also spoiled, to the point that you have literally minimum financial worries, yet you feel that your life is falling to pieces. Take @vanguard, advice and stop making excuses. Man up and do what you want to do. And for the love of God, feel a little bit of thankfulness for the gift you have been provided. 99% of the worlds population wishes they could have an education set up like you have.
Well in response to all of the responses so far, I can just say that
-although some of the posts were hostile, I am not going to deny that yes I was a bit whiny! Do you ever have those rant posts where you just ramble on about so much that has been on your mind? I did that this morning while super heated, and when one
Is in this state of mind you inevitably get selfish, and I did. all advice was helpful and I posted this to receive feedback on how to deal with the incredible stress of college, and I received it, luckily. Im glad to have any opinions at all on this. Now that ive cooled down, I thank you all for providing input and have already started reflecting and decided how I can alter my disposition in order to create a more optimistic mindset.
@paolavecuriosidad, The only post that I saw as hostile was mine, and it’s because you really are complaining about first world problems. That’s not even close to what HE is about. And dont start with the “open forum to express whatever I want”.. I was hostile because I am disappointed that someone who could earn a free ride, who is on this site, would even complain about such things. And I applaud you for your politicians apology, it sounds nice, but I don’t think you’ve changed a damn thing. I want you to succeed, not in a “I’ll say whatever makes you feel better” kind of way, but in a real “What the fuck are you doing” kind of way.. I honestly believe you haven’t changed anything, because what have you learned? Lets have an open discussion, why do you drink? What does it solve? Drink to remember the good times, not to forget the bad.
@paolavecuriosidad, Yeah college is getting to be more like high school nowadays and everyone goes , its funny how this topic happens so often on here. I think part of it is finding a good college but, one of incoming students biggest problems is coming in to school with a job. You just can’t expect good grades. The classes are no joke unless you just seem to grasp topics very easily. But on the other hand greek life is a whole different story, a bunch of people so caught up in drinking games,hooking up with girls,and “the brotherhood” they won’t know how much of a waste of time all of it actually was until it’s too late. I think there are a lot of problems with the school systems though, you are paying to get this piece of paper that tells someone else that you are capable of doing a certain job, then you go into that job for the rest of your life. This is yet another way to get you into the system and have you paying the banks for 20+ years of your life. But it is what you are making out of it my main goal going into my first semester is having a good time, figuring out my life skills, making good friends(people who have VERY,VERY similar interest as you), and get good grades for the first 2 semesters. Your grades are reflective of how much time you are putting in on school work.YOU are not stupid, maybe lazy but not stupid.To refocus on your school work its really about the mentality you just have to sit down and tell yourself this has to get done more then anything else on my agenda. You may just need to make time management a big priority with your schedule, and if it only consist of school,work,party, and study it may be time to re-evaluate a little bit of what you really like doing, stop doing what “everyone else” in college does and do what YOU want to do. Try new things
Think positive also , nothing good is going to come out of negative thoughts
Also check this out just a little list of tips for freshman