Obliterating your “lower self”

Manimal (@manimal) 10 years, 4 months ago

This thread is about a part of you that you’re not really aware of, a part of you that you don’t want to see, a part of you that doesn’t want to be revealed. There is quite a chance that you will be offended by some of the content of this post, if you can’t take that, you are not ready for this thread. There’s nothing wrong with that, so please stop reading now if you’re like that, it makes it easier for all of us.

First things first, what do I mean when I say "lower self?" I’m glad you asked. What I’m referring to is that part of your ego that holds your "shadow" and your "pain body," your unconscious "monkey mind" that is the source of all your reactions and negative emotion.

Your insecurities and fears, but also your overconfidence and cockiness. Your hate, your anger, your sadness, your false happiness. Your addictions, your need for attention and validation, your feelings of inferiority as well as superiority. Your limiting beliefs, your stupidity, your weakness, your attachments and your desire for detachment. Your ignorance, your fear of change, and your desire for change, your insatiable hunger for false happiness, your craving for distraction and stimulation, your procrastination. Your lack and your excess. Your unconscious false sense of self.

It’s your inner loser, your inner hater, doubter and accuser (ha-satan.) Your inner victim and aggressor, judge, jury and executioner, overprotective guardian and absent provider. Your inner bitch.

Sound like something you want in your head? Sound like something you want to get rid of? If the former is your answer, leave this thread. If the latter is your answer, read on because I will help you. I’m not overselling this stuff either, I promise.

So, a lot of you think you’re aware of this side of yourself, but you’re really not. You never are, and if you do catch a glimpse of it it will retreat into the shadow. You can chase it around, this will make it go away somewhat but most of the progress you can make with this is subconscious. What I’m doing here is giving you the number for mental anticimex/ghostbusters.

You probably have the intellectual awareness, that’s great. But it’s not enough. The people on this site, you are intellectual and quite open minded. But there is a huge lack of action, initiative and creativity. So I’m going to give you some hands-on instructions for this process.

Ready? Paying attention? Open mind? Cool, read on.

The mission I have for you (you don’t have to do it, it’s your choice, and you’re the only one affected, not me) is very simple. I want you to… wait for it… fuck up, fail, and make an ass out of yourself. If you’re ready to put your bitch ego aside, go on, if not just stop reading right now. The first couple of objectives are quite easy, not as risky, and not that unpleasant. Do them all in the order they’re presented. Don’t skip any of them, unless that situation simply doesn’t exist in your life/mind. (Don’t fool yourself, don’t make excuses, don’t convince yourself that it isn’t in your life if it is. That will only harm you and those around you.)

Objective 1: That person you’ve been wanting to ask out? Do it! Or… That boyfriend/girlfriend you’ve been wanting to break up with, but are afraid they might get hurt. Well… do it! If neither of these things are in your life, move on to the next one.

Objective 2: That person that’s being a dick, that you want to tell what a bitch he/she is? Do it! (If it’s me, just go ahead and do it in this thread vettja)

Objective 3: Get out on the town, go to that place where a lot of people are walking (main shopping streak, big plaza, whatever) stop and be wide. Take up as much space as you can, without moving. And just stand there for 10 minutes. The more you’re in the way, the better. If someone yells at you or something, ignore them. This one is even better if done with some friends spread out doing the same things, although doing it alone has its advantages as well.

Objective 4: Wear silly/ugly clothes for a week, and go about your life as usual.

Objective 5: Hate everyone and everything you see. For a whole day. And use a lot of curse words. The next day, love everything and everyone you met. Be overtly loving and romantic. Think Caspar David Friedrich on weed and mdma. If you don’t succeed, start over with the day you’re on.

Objective 6: This one will be really easy for some (angry/reactive person) and really hard for some (religious people, including buddhists.) Imagine killing the people you don’t like. All of them. Just imagine, nothing wrong with that. Feel the fury building up within you, then see if you can let it go. When you’re done, think of the 5 people you love the most. Imagine killing them, imagine vividly. Then see if you can let it go.

Objective 7: Next time you’re out on the town, pay attention to the people around you (take out the headphones you antisocial motherf-) Now, any thing you think about a person that isn’t too negative, go right up to them and tell them. Do this for an hour, as soon as you think something about a person, tell them about it. "Hey you, I like your shirt!" "Yo, you’re so sexy." "You seem like an interesting person." "Hi there, you look lonely." Then improvise. Talk to them for a while, ignore them, whatever. Doesn’t matter as long as you spoke your mind.

Objective 8: Remember when you were ~6 years old? Well, now you are that person you were back then. Live it. Go around life as usual, but with the perspective of your child self. Let’s face it, for most of us that person was way more awesome than our current self.

Objective 9: Be as lazy as possible for a whole day. Got a job? School? Call and say you’re sick. Then just be like a sloth-like

Objective 10: Imagine being really old, you’re living in a retirement home, you’re weak and crippled. You didn’t achieve your goals in life, your children very rarely visit, and don’t even care that much about you. You don’t have any real friends, you can’t eat food that hasn’t been blendered, and you can’t even wipe your own ass. Imagine this for a whole day, vividly, what would it be like if that was your life right now?

Objective 11: This one goes out to all you perverts. Everyone has a fetish, probably more than one. Well, it’s time to act on it. The next couple of times you have sex, act on your fetish. And do your best to make your partner act on her/his fetish(es.) Of course you can’t force anything, that’s a crime and a horrible thing to do. But give it your best effort. Even if it’s really nasty. As long as it doesn’t cause lasting injuries, that is.

Objective 12: You know that type of people of your gender that you can’t stand. If you’re a girl it might be a slutty vamp, a butch coldhearted feminist, a classic socially correct woman, or an extreme tomboy. If you’re a guy it might be a feminine pretty boy, a macho jerk, a player, or a nerd with no life. These are just examples, you know what type of girls/guys you can’t stand. Anyway, what I want you to do is to be like one of these for a week. Dress like one of them, speak like one of them, do what they do, listen to their type of music, etc.

Objective 13: Go to a nightclub or bar. Now, every person you see that you find even slightly bangable/romanceable, you’re gonna go hit on them, try your best to attract them. Begin with the hottest ones and work your way "down." It doesn’t matter what kind of approach you have or how bad/good you are at this stuff. Go out as often as you can/are willing to. This objective goes on for at least a month. And if you don’t go out very often that timeframe doesn’t matter, instead you have to do this the next 10 times you go out to such a venue. There are two ways to up the ante on this one if you want a bigger challend and greater result. 1) Don’t limit yourself to a club, do it anywhere/everywhere. 2) Someone unattractive is macking on you? Sleep with them. Unless they’re very creepy/repulsive.

Objective 14: You know that thing your parents are nagging about, that you don’t want to do, or you feel you can’t do. (Get a job/wife/husband/life/whatever.) Or just something you’ve been wanting to tell them but haven’t had the guts to. (You’re gay/on drugs/a hippy/don’t share their religion/whatever.)

Objective 15: Now this one might be the hardest one for some, but not for others. Why? Because it requires you to betray yourself in a very ruthless way. How? It’s about your morals, you’re going to go against them. You know thoes labesl you and others give yourself, such as vegetarian/christian/intelligent/politically correct/rebel/feminist/whatever. Fuck it. Do what’s "wrong" and against your beliefs.

Vegetarian: drink a big glass of blood. Religious: Commit sin, read through the holy scripture of a different religion and accept it. Homophobe: Try gay sex. Gay: Straight sex. Politically correct: Be a racist sexist homophobe. Humble: Be a self righteous narcissistic egomaniac. Pacifist: Kick someone’s ass. Cool: Be lame. Jock: Be a nerd. These are just examples, there are many more labels to fuck. The more labels you fuck, the more results you will get, you will be liberated.

Objective 16: Show your genitals in public. That’s right, you heard me. Just make sure no cops are around.

Bonus objective 1: Tell your beliefs and knowledge to everyone you know for a day. Whether it’s fanatic, scientific, racist, smart, dumb, whatever. Just tell that shit to everyone you know, shamelessly (should be no problem if you’ve been a good girl/boy and done the previous objectives.) Get specific, go into detail, don’t hold back. Your whole worldview, including the stuff that could make others think you belong in an asylum.

Bonus objective 2: Pray for a whole day. Especially if you’re an atheist, but religious people should do it too. Pray for yourself, your loved ones, whoever you think you should pray for. Keep it in the positive, and visualise.

Bonus objective 3: Be me for a day. Whatever your idea of me is, no matter how negative or positive your opinions of me is, no matter how dumb or smart you think I am, no matter how authentic or fake you think I am, no matter how right or wrong you think I am. Be me for a day. Think WWMD, what would Manimal do? Walk a couple of miles in my shoes (or should I say cheap ugg boots lol?) Don’t bother about the real me, this is about your idea of me. Whatever it is, be it for a day, or a couple of days if you like. Be me, do what I do, or more correctly what you think I am and do.

Now I know some of you are going "But Manimal, I can’t do this or that objective. It will make me feel shame/guilty/rejected/mean/dirty/dumb/butthurt/whatever"

Well that’s the point, Einstein. Didn’t you read the topic title and introduction? If you feel like shit, you’re doing it right, you’re making progress. You have to understand that these bad feelings are what’s standing between you and your goals and your freedom. You’ve built a fortress of shit around you, and now you’re a prisoner inside it. The only way out is through. To enter the kingdom of heaven you must first walk through hell.

Social pressure, anxiety, expectations, morals, self-image and what others think of you, these are your most prominent limits. Break them and you’re free.

As usual, I have some book recommendations for you guys:

And I also want you to listen to these songs. Please do, I beg you. Even if you don’t like Hatebreed or Eels, in fact that’s even more reason to listen to this. Contemplate the lyrics. The first one is like a hardcore version of Eckhart Tolle, the second one is all soft and nice and carefree.


Now, you probably won’t hear from me anymore because:

a) I’m moving to Russia, for a whole bunch of reasons. I won’t have internet, and quite possibly I will hit the reset button on my life.

b) I might get banned for this post. Why? Because it’s provocative, and I’ve been warned about that. I don’t agree with that, but I don’t make the rules. And in cases like this thread, I’ll take that risk, my vision of helping is currently more important to me than following the rules of an internet site. Even when it’s a great site full of great people. Call me self righteous or whatever you want, that’s just how I roll.

Doesn’t matter though. I still believe in you, I’m rooting for you, and I love you. All of you.

I hope you enjoyed this post. And I hope it proves useful to you. I think we’ll meet again sooner or later, one way or another. Until then, have a great time and make lots of progress, both for yourself and for the world. Good luck, happy mindfucking.

Peace, and farewell.

//Elion, the manimal

February 26, 2012 at 10:05 pm
vishnu (1,235) (@vizznou) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

Happy (honestly for lack of a better word that rocks as hard as you) Russia, Happy reset button, Happy life and whatever comes after… Damn, you’re leaving so fast feels like i just got my umbilical chord cut! (plus hope you wont get banned for this, its actually the sweetest thing ever!)

prayers with you and love forever Manimal, for Being. the manimal you are. <3

jjj (32) (@crackedout6pack) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

fuck off to russia you conceiited piece of shit.
‘be manimal for a day’
hes cool and he knows it.

HAHA i love it. its good, i agree wholeheartedly. definitely gunna try it. gunna get my girl to do it, and if she doesnt then thats that.

Peter (152) (@searchingforthetruth) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

These are some sweet words Manimal. Very awesome, I have to bookmark this.

Zach (63) (@v1kingfan) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

interesting. I might try some and maybe eventually all of these.
Best of luck to you in your new life!

Devin (17) (@scotch) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

Great post, its helping me already and i hope it helps others.

Fuck shit

Orinda (0) (@orinda) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

I like this post.

It reminds me of Fight Club and Project Mayhem.

I probably wont do any of this stuff, but it has me thinking “what if…”

Psychonaut (88) (@soulpilgrim) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

Just have a break mANIMAl then return. It won’t be as much fun around here without you.

Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

@Psychonaut I don’t know, man. I’ve got a lot to take care of.

And if I get back, it won’t be the same. Because I have to choose between being censored and being banned. And I simply can’t do that, especially when the stuff I’m not allowed to say is the stuff that makes my posts what they are.

Maybe I’ll come back, but at the moment it doesn’t look like it.

BirdFlyingHigh (152) (@birdflyinghigh) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

Bye, hope to see you soon.

WryJester (93) (@wryjester) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

Loved this post. Come back soon, with new experiences.

Psychonaut (88) (@soulpilgrim) 10 years, 4 months ago ago


Sounds to me like you know the answer. Get your own site up & running & we can pay you a visit there. You can express whatever you want on your own site.

Anonymous (0) (@) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

@Manimal Hey man, if you are really moving to Russia and won’t be using this site anymore you should totally give me that blog site you’ve been working on or something. Over half the reason I come to this site seems to be for what you have to say (no offence to the others).

Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

@Psychonaut & Koala Yeah, I’ll hopefully get it running in not too long, I’ve got some people helping me finalize it and I’ve got a decent amount of content ready to throw in there. I won’t have any internet though, but I could probably do the work that’s left in an internet cafe or something.

I’ll shoot you a link when it’s up and running.

Anonymous (0) (@) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

@Manimal Please do, just put it on my HE profile page :D

Alex Eastman (71) (@alex) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

Objective 6… hahahahaha… :)

Exist (12) (@exist) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

Have a good one

Alex Eastman (71) (@alex) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

aww, hate to see you go manimal. Come back and get banned, don’t quit! I doubt they’d ban a star-community player like you :)

TheSkaFish (962)M (@theskafish) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

@mANIMAl yea, send me a link to your blog too when it’s ready. But what makes you think you are being banned here? Most posters tend to like the things you say.

And why Russia out of curiosity’s sake? From what I understand not having been there, it’s a pretty dangerous place. Best of luck though!

Anonymous (2,654) (@) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

Great shit, Manimal. I’ve done all these things and continue doing some of them. Just … tell me how to feel proud? By the way I love the Eels. :)

But the whole point of getting banned is exactly the reason why something is considered normal and what’s just freaking utopia. :)

Of course, most of the stuff is dangerous and people are not always right. But is a way to get closer to the truth… It’s really about living your life and not giving much of a “censored word”.
I’d say… do all these things but take good care. You might miscalculate a situation and end up in a place where people are exactly as crazy as you. And uh… use your power for good, even if it means to be a jerk in a boring circumstance. Accept yourselves. You’re gonna die some day. MADNESS! Cheers. :)

Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

Peace, Manimal.
You’ve been a very positive influence on me.
Sad to see you go, but good luck with whatever it is you feel you need to do.

Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

I will try my best to live out this list you’ve created

Martijn Schirp (112,780)A (@martijn) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

Great post, some good advice in there. Would make a nice guest post on HE for kickstarting your new blog ;)

Also, don’t be a ego pussy about the ban warning. You are not stupid, you know when you cross the line and when you don’t, so don’t portray me indirectly as the bad guy. I have nothing against you so don’t take it so personally.

Enjoy yourself in russia!

Also, for the ones brave enough for these challenges. PICS or it didn’t happen!!!

vishnu (1,235) (@vizznou) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

hahah pics or it didnt happen! LOL

stonedragon (143) (@stonedragon21) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

manimal. we will miss you enormously. even if we dont always agree with you your posts are always spot on with hosesty and bravery and you make me tell myself often to stop being such a wimp and a moaner.
come back to us manimal.
im sure martijn wont ban you , im even curious what it was that made you cross the line. i guess it was when you said show your genitals in public… could have been that i guess.
anyway what makes HE great is that we are all here. to agree and to disagree !
love to you always.courage and i will think of you in siberia in your uggs!

Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

@TheSkaFish I was warned for being provocative, told that I would be banned if I provoke more, this thread is extremely provocative.

Yes, some people like me, but others hate me. Haters are always louder. Haters scheme, likers don’t. Haters will work hard to sabotage things for the one they hate, likers usually don’t do much at all. I could go on and on. But when a person has to make decisions in these situations they usually listen to those who are the loudest, because that’s easier. Even great leaders do this.

Why Russia? It’s not the same kind of place as Sweden, which is what I’m moving away from. There are also some manimals there that I’m meeting up with, as well as some new people to initiate. St Petersburg is a great place to beast it out for a while, and I need that. And moving farther east there is a lot of open, empty space. I’m seeking solitude, I’ve got some personal issues that I need to deal with. My anima is broken, I’m a sex addict, I’m growing more attached to bullshit, I’ve deveoped a “teacher ego,” I’m losing clarity, losing energy. I need a journey.

It’s well near impossible to know when one has crossed the line when there are no rules to be found. I don’t know when I cross the line, ok? There is no list of rules, no FAQ for newcomers, nothing like it. So I got straight into action, and no consequences followed, and what’s been set in motion stays in motion.

I’m not pointing you out as the bad guy at all. Please do not accuse me of these things, I don’t see what good could ever come of that. People read too far into my posts and pick up a bunch of stuff that isn’t in there. Just because “I remember someone saying x and meaning y in the past, that means that everyone who says x means y.” Everyone does this, it’s a pattern that we’ve all been made to follow, stereotyping/association.

Just like these attacks I’ve been accused of. I never meant to hurt anyone, and I’ve explained this in detail time and time again.

And when I’ve been allowed to do something for my whole stay here, without any major negative feedback, and then all of a sudden I’m being told I’ll be banned if I provoke on more time… what other conclusions can I logically make? See, I misunderstand, and so do you. Communication always has fuzz and noise that distorts what people tell you (wow, I got a chance to use something I learned in high school marketing psychology, I’m so happy.) We’re misunderstanding eachother, and I really thought that on a site like this we could look past such distortions and ego drama. Or at least not let them dictate the flow of the interactions on it.

And I don’t blame anyone for misunderstanding me. My type of character, well it’s foreign to most, and the same goes for several other people on this site as well. We are not the masses, yet a lot of us judge the others based on the associations of the masses. The whole “saying x and meaning y” thing.

What makes you think I have anything against you, dude? It doesn’t make sense. Would I be on this great site if I disliked one of the main driving forces of the site? I’m not THAT dumb.

I have no idea how to make a guest post, but I’d love to make this topic into one.

And yeah, pics would be a great thing. Videos would be truly glorious.

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