parent, and I no communication. Even when i try.

 littlemissywolf (@littlemissywolf)5 years, 9 months ago

So growing up i was raised by my mother. She always just dropped me off to my grandma’s for work or pool, allot of the time she was gone for no reason. now there is a massive communication barrier. I pretty much have to argue with her to just get her to speak to me. is this healthy should i even be living like this. I have no idea who my mother even is anymore. and she has no idea who even i am. what can i do. 

September 2, 2015 at 10:42 am
Dhyan (37) (@Dhyan) 5 years, 9 months ago ago

Accept,   I was  born  unwanted  from a rape,  I lived  at home till  15th  and moved  out.  During  those  15 years  I moved  45 times  houses.  

I have  issues  of course,  yet  I love  a cloud,  a butterfly  etc. Even  when life  is not  what  you wanted  it to be,  and even life  can be painful.  There’s  allways  a continue.. 

  Don’t  compare  with  what’s  normal.  Accept.  This  is you’re  path.  Don’t  compare.  This is your life 

 There’s  a good chance,  you’re  mother  was raised  like you.  We  have  family  patterns  we have karma,  destiny.  And   

I  can  say  hello to you.  Free  and  alive :-)   

And  you can smile,  if you  want too 

 :-)) 

 

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Frankie (3) (@wmassion) 5 years, 9 months ago ago

It is not healthy if you desire to have some significance within the relationship between the two of you. That is the first question you must ask yourself (which you may already have and may have already answered). What do you want from the relationship with your mother. If the answer is something greater than how it stands now, then I would certainly encourage you to try. But what you must first realize is that she, or anyone, is not placed here to make you happy or fulfilled. Only you can achieve that. 
I have had a poor relationship with my father most of my life. I have at the same time had a great relationship with my mother, but had to confront her about a serious, destructive issue. I do not know the extent of the conversations (or arguments) you’ve had with your mother or the knowledge you have gained, but you must be fully aware that there is probably something significant she may be struggling with. Maybe you know it, maybe you don’t. That doesn’t matter so much initially. Maybe it will reveal itself at some point. You must approach her with unwavering love and acceptance of the person she is now. Approach it with the understanding that any attempt at breaking down the barriers and building a better relationship will not be easy.
Maybe initially, a good option is bridging the gap between the two of you with an activity that you will both enjoy and build up some trust. You know your relationship with her the best so you will know if this is possible or not, but there is no harm in proposing something. If, and when, you decide to reach deeper, you must remain conscious of what you truly desire to have with her and the love that is there, and refrain from arguing. If you would like to ask further questions, please feel free.

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