“From the past couple of years I have been living a pretty ordinary life. Though, according to my mind, I’m a hidden basket of ideas and experiences and life instances that are not experienced by any..” These are the signs of pathological lying. I have done decent research on this topic and I have accepted it, “Yes, I am a pathological liar..” Unfortunately, everywhere on the internet, people are writing as to how to identify a pathological liar rather than helping a pathological liar cure this disease him/herself. I’m still young (about 23 years old) and I lie for no personal gain or motive and I want to cure this disease that I’m stuck to. I know it’s hard to erase all the lies I have said during the past 6-7 years of my life and I don’t think I can even confront them anymore. But, I want to ask you people how to stop myself from doing it further? How must I cure this?
@mistrzing, I’d say forget about what you have done in the past years, cleanse yourself of the destructive karmic nature you have created, and forgive yourself. The first step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one. Become more open, I’d say, share experiences and life instances with anyone who wishes to listen. . . and try not to exaggerate.
i remember i used to lie alot and exaggerate stories to try and promote myself as more interesting than i really was. are you sure you dont do it for any sort of personal gain or lack of self-esteem? my friends boyfriend lied to her about being attacked so her could get sympathy and impress her than he had fought the guy off – turned out he was a pathological liar too. the lies must be coming from somewhere, to gratify some want or need. try to identify that first, it will help you attack the problem at its root.
@phanci3, I think you are right. I do feel that there are subtle motives behind that lying. Most of them are for self-esteem, I feel like. But, I know and I have accepted it that I’m lying. Most of the pathological liars often live in their mini-world of ideas and deceptions believing they are true. I think I have taken the first step to accept myself. I just need to find a way to stop this impulsive lying…
@donjaime23, Lol, it took some guts to write this. Seriously, I just found this out and when I was looking up the details for this disease, I was baffled at how closely my habits resemble the symptoms of this disease. So, yea.. I’m not lying right now :)
@phanci3, I think you are right. It’s been about 5 days that I have realized this and since then I have put a big pause on my verbal exchange with anybody (be it a friend or a stranger). I take breaks between my arguments, weigh the opposite person’s response, and reply in true words without letting my ego hinder this process…
Yea, it just comes out automatically. Let me give you an example. Once I went out with my friends and we got a bit drunk. After we all came back for post-party, I was feeling a bit tired and started to black out, so I left for home without telling it to anybody. I reached home and I passed out. Next morning I saw a text message from my friend asking about my whereabouts. My pathological lying became active and I cooked up some story (because I felt somewhere inside I would not look cool if I told them that I went back home and slept).. So, this story that I made got so popular amongst so many people and now everybody just know me through that. I must say, I was creatively realistic at that, but at the end of the day, it was not true.
@tangledupinplaid21, that’s a tough question to answer. I’m more on the “spending time with myself side” of a person because I kind of like it that way. But, I do like to make friends. According to research, Pathological liars lie for other people’s sympathy. That’s true. They also lie for attention. I think I lie for stories. I don’t have many stories to tell people. If I am talking to a person, I’m a bit confused what to talk about. If I stop talking, I kinda feel I’m boring the other person. So, I start concatenating reality with interesting deceptions that sound true and totally believable. Also, till date, I have never had to confront to my lies. I don’t really know if that’s a good or a bad thing. But, over the time, I just became so good at timing them… Haha, I am not solving my problem like this :P
Sometimes I think I should probably write stories because I’m so good at making them up…
I have no experience in this area but to me it seems like most lies benefit the liar in some way or another. One thing that helped me in my life is realizing that i did not want to lie to people about what i have done, who i am, or what i want to do because in the end they really don’t know who i am. I want everyone i meet to see the real me and know exactly what they are getting. Of course i do not tell some people every aspect of my personal life but wouldnt consider that lieing; although, if they ever asked i would tell the truth because my past is who i am. Being accepting of every aspect of yourself is the first step i thing you should take because once you know yourself and are accepting of the good and bad what reason is there to lie? Another thing i have learned is that trying to impress people with false stories never works because they are not impressed by you but of the lies you created.
Live as yourself everyday. That is the best thing i think you could do because then you would have no reason to lie. Then again this is just what i think you need to find your own reason why you lie and reasons to stop. Other people can only give you insight they cant cure you. Only you can cure yourself.