So, I wanted to share something that happened to me recently about this person I have met on my work.
To start: Do you know that feeling where someone really gives you the “bad vibes”?
Well, this person at first seemed the opposite. He seemed like a normal guy (kinda quiet and shy by the way), until I started talking to him. To clear things up, I have to mention that it’s very difficult for me to lose my temper or get angry with someone, that sometimes I think my patience is somehow like a super power (lol).
Anyway, at first the conversations started very shallow. We shared our interests, our booklists and even shared what we were writing at the time for some feedback. (Yep, we both like to write horror stories). But after that, things got more deeper, and we started to have conversations about religion, including his atheism, life after death, where he always was refuting my theories about it. While all of this was happening, he was always trying to analyze me. Analyzing every move I made, everything I said and questioning me about it. Every time he went through that road I always answer vaguely. Even though I kinda liked our conversations, something told me I shouldn’t share personal and private things to him, despite the fact that he shared A LOT about him to me.
Among all the things he told me, I realized he is a sad person, like the kind of people who always see the bad side of everything, who don’t let themselves be happy, who at the end of the day, get fueled by anger (actually, I’m quoting most of this from him). I didn’t mean to feel pity on him or trying to fix him, I like to know new people and new point of views, but it really shocked me to meet someone like him. After knowing all of this, I realized why I felt like he was practically sucking my energy. I stopped talking to him for a while, and when he noticed it, he gave me an “ultimatum” saying that he didn’t agreed with my “definition” of friendship. (and I never quite understood what was his “definition of friendship” really was).
Let’s just say after we stopped talking to each other things got awkward every time we are on a meeting. And I don’t mean this as the wrong way but, since that “ultimatum” I feel this crazy “bad vibes” around him. Like something inside of him doesn’t like me. Is not that I care about what other people might think of me, if they like me or not, but I never felt this level of awkwardness before. Is like his energy is yelling at me to go away, and it makes me feel soooo uncomfortable. I even overanalyzed everything I said to him, but always came to the conclusion I was never disrespectful to him.
The point of all of this is: Considering what I’ve been through, what I have learned and who I am, I just can’t understand how someone decides to be miserable like that! I know the world is not about sunshines and rainbows, but at least I try to make it better, I decide to be happy, to laugh, to love and to share it with everyone.
Has someone else met someone like this guy? or had a similar experience?
i would like to talk this through with you. :) i’ve had a similar experience which might sound dramatic but i assure you I’m probably adding drama. but please, read this,
i think this is the best way to understand my point of view on pity. And then i’ll tell you my story once you’ve read it :)
look forward to discussing this with you.
:) i met a man when i was travelling. He was about 30 odd years old. He was alone but sat with a group and was very loud and very confident.
A very tall man, bald head, covered in tattoos, always drinking alcohol with a huge smile on his face. Very opinionated.
It was easy to see that this guy collected enemies as well as friends every where he goes.
To begin with he was a very basic guy. His words very rarely showed intelligence, but he did show the ability to enjoy himself fully.
I got speaking to this guy, and decided to be open minded about his thoughts and opinions instead of letting any of them offend me.
This guy turned out to be a very interesting person. We spoke about Alastair Crowley (absolutely interesting individual if you haven’t researched him i suggest you do so when you have the time) and also Anton Robert Wilson (another interesting character). We spoke about reality tunnels and the tree of life Judaism and Satanism etc. We spoke about things I have never spoke about with any one before and it was extremely interesting. I learned a lot from this guy about the knowledge of good and evil and many other things.
He was very nice to me. He treated me like a friend. He treated me with respect.
But this wasn’t how he treated everyone.
I met another man seperately to this gentleman i speak off. He was a lot younger, 18 years old but he was huge, he looked in his 30’s. Very tall, very build.
He was also a good guy. I became good friends with him also and started to spend a lot of time with him and a girl we both knew.
What i didnt know was that my two new friends already knew each other, and they didnt get on very well. The younger boy was quite a cocky lad due to his size, and when the older gentleman tried to assert some form of dominance the younger boy would always act very defensively.
Over time, i started to see the hate the older man had for the younger boy grow.
As this hate grew, i started to learn a lot more about this man than i had done in all of our intelligent conversations.
I learned more about his past in his drunk outbursts in the streets.
The angrier he got the more he drank.
It was at the peak of his anger i experienced something very strange.
We were sat at a bar, and the older guy comes over and sits down.
He starts threatening (very calmy and demonically) the younger boy. Stating that he’s going to slit his throat while he sleeps etc. The younger man obviously got very uncomfortable and left and i was left sat at the table with someone who considered me a good friend (who was turning all demon on me lol) and two other people who were so scared of this man they feared to say anything to him at all.
I could see his hate wasnt towards me so i persisted to be honest with the man. I calmly told him the way he was acting wasnt acceptable. I told him that it was only perpetuating the pain that he’s feeling.
He told me i didnt know pain.
I then learned he was a recovering heroin addict who ran away from his country. He told me why he had to leave his country. He explained to me in detail about how he beat his ex girlfriend and raped her while she was unconcious. He told me how he slowly broke a mans arm while looking at him in the eyes while he did it. He told me about all the evil things he did.
He was starting to scare everyone around him. But because i was the only one talking to him i had all of his focus.
I was now sat at a table with a possible psychopath who thinks he’s my best friend.
He then proceeds to tell me that he was a god.
the conversation that went on after this was rather bazzare but eventually i had to leave him at the table and tell him i was going to sleep. He never followed me.
As little respect that he showed everyone else, he always showed me respect. Even when he was in complete anger. He would listen to me. It wouldnt calm him down or make him less angry. but he still listened. it was the most parculiar thing.
He continued to threaten people and be abbusive and push everyone away from him for the remainder of his time in the village. He pushed every away and isolated himself to the point that people felt completely uncomfortable being around him.
But I didnt judge him, i sat with him and spoke with him. We spoke about the universe, and when i made the effort to give him my time and attention, and not to judge him for his evils, he was able to return to being good. He did this when i believed that there was still good inside of him.
I know all about heroin addicts, my dad was one and it killed him when i was 9. I understand what it does to a person.
I know its possible you might have convinced yourself that this man was a bad man.
but i promise you he wasnt.
You see it wasnt him that was the problem, it was how everyone saw him.
When he was honest and made a cry for help, people got scared, and instead of helping him they avoided him. They isolated a man hungry for love and friends. They avoided him. Talked about him behind his back. Spoke to him differently. The world began to treat him differently and it made him worse and worse.
The only time i ever saw the good in him was when we were alone and there was no one their to judge him but me.
When i listened to him, he would glow up. He would smile so much. He would be so happy.
It felt good knowing i could help this man smile, even if just for that short time i was with him.
But eventually it became too much for him. People couldnt stop talking about him and the strange things he did so he left and i never saw him again.
I heard one story about him meeting the younger boy again somewhere else in the country and they had a fight. The younger man won, and hurt the older man.
i dont know what happened to him after that.
But dont you see? its not these people that are considered Evil that are the problem!!! its the way we treat them.
We create what we fear.
When we fear a man we give him a power.
Most people dont know how to handle this power and it makes them crazy.
but these are just children that never got to grow up.
they are children trapped in the body of an adult.
The poem was about me.
I’ve also suffered.
I’ve made mistakes.
I’ve had fights.
I’ve taken drugs.
Who is not guilty of a crime?
we are all so quick to judge others that we dont take the time to judge ourselves.
This is really what we should all be doing. Judging ourselves more and others less.
This man you talk off… He sounds like a man who is still suffering to me. He just needs you to have compassion for him.
He needs you to look at him and see love. it doesnt have to be a sexy love. It can be a sisterly love. but so long as its love.
dont judge him what ever you do.
you dont know his whole story and you never will.
but you dont need to, all you need, is to be and do good.
dont ask why.
just do it because its right.
dont do it because i’ve told you too.
do it because you want to, and only do it if you want too.
if you dont want too then its pointless doing it.
but its important to be honest and be good. and to be so unconditionally.
If you listen to what i say, you will see what i see and understand as i understand.
if you dont, you will continue living life asking questions about these evil people you meet along the way, and never getting answers.
Yes, this is very familiar. Some people’s breathing says “go away or I’ll cut you” even when nobody’s with them and suck all the air in the world. Hahaha, shit.
I think I know what his definition of friendship is , since you already mentioned that he shared a lot about himself. He opened up to you by trusting you and you didn’t do it the same way, because you’re both people with different concerns. But you’re the one who had trust issues with him first so you’re not noticing your own bad vibes. In a friendship people trust each other. He sounds like a creep. You sound like a creep. Why don’t you trust each other?
hahahahaha maybe I sound like a creep (that made me laugh, sorry, first time I hear something like that) … You know what made me doubt about opened up to him? Because he started telling me the issues he has with his wife and family, and how he has to lie sometimes to get away from them. :/ That just made me sad, and honestly, that’s something I cannot relate or agree to.
It was intentional to be funny, but I also think that people who love horror stories are more trustworthy. I seriously don’t trust people much that don’t enjoy thrills? I mean, they’re already sharing their fears, what’s more to fear? While those who avoid them don’t face them and it’s suspicious what they’re hiding! Of course I mean creep in a good way.
I get it now, though. I react in a similar way when someone lies to their family or just close people to them. Although I don’t get sad, I just don’t like such people, I’ll perhaps think they’re too stupid to be harmful to anyone but themselves. He probably has his reasons but it seems like you’re concerned if he holds a grudge. I guess you don’t have to be liked by a person you cannot relate to or agree to.