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I had some really interesting 5-MeO related experiences a few weekends ago (without taking it). Earlier in the year, I had two release dose Bufo/5-MeO experiences with Dr Gerry, and I had a smaller vaped 5-MeO freebase experience quite recently that was less strong than my Bufo experiences but still spectacular. A few weeks ago, I had a powerful and intense 5-MeO reactivation during the night, my most powerful yet. It was very much akin to being back in the experience for real, it was very powerful, if brief. I was staying in a cottage for the weekend in the stunning Scottish countryside with two good friends for a weekend of walking. I had smoked a little cannabis with them before retiring and hadn’t slept much the night before, which may have played a part in my reactivation, as my mind was highly active on going to sleep.
The next day, we all ate a good dose of dried Psilocybe cyanescens mushrooms (from the same batch I had microdosed with on the day of my first release dose Bufo experience). I usually vibe very well with mushrooms, and these particular mushrooms I’ve found to be consistently very clean and serene from past experiences with them. The coming up period was unusually anxiety ridden, and despite being out in stunning nature with two of my best friends, I was introspective and having a turbulent time, mentally. A big part of this experience was my forced mental focus on my recent Bufo and 5-MeO experiences…being in the bemushroomed state allowed me to much better experientially conceptualise actually being in the 5-MeO state, in a way that is simply not possible when sober. And my mind was being bombarded with the power and profundity of my past experiences, but in retrospect it seems that some much needed integration was occurring.
I now, in reflection, sincerely believe I experienced absolute pure, boundless infinity/eternity during my experiences (for whatever reason I can recall more of my second Bufo experience), and I will hold this view for the rest of my days. From my perspective, when the 5-MeO annihilated my ego, I was no longer aware of myself as a finite individual…in fact this seemed like an illusion. That in fact I’m an infinite being, and rather than being an individual, it’s more that I’m an individual facet of something much, much greater than me. This was a very cosmic experience, far beyond me as a human. But this force of infinity/eternity I very deeply encountered…felt like it could be part of the same force that ignited this universe/the multiverse in the first place, some kind of ultimate universal fractal blueprint or equation of creation of which I/everyone/everything is a part of. It really is all one! I know that is one heck of a claim to make!! But this was a very humbling and also empowering experience. In other words, experiencing this force directly, really felt like experiencing what some may term as “God”. Of all the many psychedelic and altered state experiences I’ve ever had in my life, of which there has been many, no experience has come remotely anywhere near as close as affecting me as deeply as this. I never ever expected to be able to experience something so incredible and so utterly mysterious in my life, and I believe I now know what a fair chunk of the mystics, yogis and near death experiencers were/are on about. “Entheogen” is not a term I’ve ever used, it never seemed really appropriate and so I never felt comfortable using it. In my experience though, out of all the psychedelics, 5-MeO-DMT seems truly worthy of such a label. Of all the various states of consciousness I’ve experienced over my lifetime, this is one I would have no issues referring to as intrinsically sacred. Without experiencing this directly myself, I simply would NOT consider such an experience to be remotely possible for a human being to experience by ingesting a chemical, or through any means for that matter. If there is a more reliable way of experiencing death in some measure before one’s time, I’d like to know of it. This stuff has a power that dwarfs that of any other psychedelics, IMO. I don’t say this stuff lightly either. I’m a scientist and someone who likes to think they are rational and grounded person.
So yeah, the short version is that I’m truly awed and humbled, and goes to show 5-MeO keeps working on you long after your last session! I intend to keep up a daily meditation practice now as I feel this will better allow me to retain these insights and build on them as I move into the future.