Practicing Non-attachment.

Ellie (@tangledupinplaid21) 10 years, 5 months ago

I don’t think that practicing non-attachment is a passive progression at all.
Not unless you are a glutton for punishment and having the universe send you the same lesson over and over…

In regards to material possessions or becoming attached to ideas of what we should have or what we should want or expect to glean from life I think we first need to reflect upon how we feel this attachment supplements us.

After all, if something does not serve us then why would we keep it around much less actually have such a bond with it that we simply cannot let it go? To ask ourselves this question isn’t hard. To honestly answer it, however, is a different story.

Everybody has different tastes when it comes to material things and the like but haven’t we all found ourselves in a relationship (usually during the break-up phase) where we are having an especially hard time moving on or letting the other person move on? Maybe we are a little clingy? Maybe we look for ways to stay involved in their lives even if it isn’t in a romantic capacity? (Seriously–how often does the whole let’s-just-be-friends thing ever even really work?)

This is because it is easy to honor the role of an inanimate object which we can deduce doesn’t serve us. However, with people, we have to realize that their attachment (or non-attachment) to us is just as interwoven to our attachment to them. Here is an exercise: think about a past romantic partner you didn’t want to lose but did. Write down the reasons you didn’t want to let go and the ways it hurt you. Now also consider if you ever saw how frustrated it probably made them. Now, look back at a past significant other who would not let you move on from the relationship. Think about the ways it frustrated you and what they must have been going through during the break-up. See the difference? We use different chakras with each scenario. We can be almost two-faced. When we wanted it out we might have had a more noble cause. When they wanted out we were trying to keep them from making a bad decision they might in turn regret.

The secret ingredient that is missing is having a full understanding of what it takes to honor one’s choices, whether we are honoring ourselves or someone else. We don’t like to accept that people may want what we don’t want and since we cannot see things from their perspective, properly empathize with them, honor the choices made and let go we feel a sense of downright betrayal. When it gets like that I would say a ‘sense of attachment’ which sounds harmless enough is actually an aggressive sense of possession and reflects more about the possessive person than the person or thing being coveted.

December 15, 2011 at 4:12 pm
Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

This concept makes such sense to me, (giving up the need to control your environment and validate your ego in various ways), but it’s hard to keep in mind. Anyone have any techniques or methods for this that work well for them?

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Kayla (28) (@tangerinesky624) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

I have this issue as well. i’d love to hear some insight.

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Peter De (110) (@peacefulwarrior) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Realize that your experience is always changing, and allow things to come and go. There’s no real trick for that besides just focusing on the joy things give you, but realizing that you don’t need them to experience joy. I really enjoy chocolate but I’m not depressed or angry without it. See yourself as the only one responsible for your own happiness. Feeling good is really an ‘inside job’. Once you get in a place where you begin to recognize that happiness is your own work, then the objects become less important.

Hope this helps,

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Peter (152) (@searchingforthetruth) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

I think its very difficult in our consumerism world…i mean..what are somethings people attach themselves to? a phone..you say you practice non-attachment, but if you lose it, in most chances you will buy obtain another one. But then again, we would consider that a necessity at this point in our lives to keep in instant communication with others.

What about the ego…is success and accomplishment part of validating the ego? Say..I have this belief that I will succeed and accomplish my goals…is that not validating the ego? I believe the thought is necessary before the action..so if I partake in the action to validate my beliefs.. is that attachment?

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R.V. Star (151) (@rickvonstar) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

stop being so attached to being unattached

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Flynnstone (813) (@flynnstone) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

I try to focus my enjoyment/happiness/whatever in regards to an object based on what it does or how I use it rather than the actual possession of said object.
For example, I got a computer two years ago, but when they came out with a new, better computer, I did not go out and buy the newest one because my old one still serves the primary functions I ask of it (writing papers, doing research, emailing, and procrastinating in various ways).
It’s simple in theory, but still hard to practice in a world that runs on consumerism…

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

It’s not so much material items as people and situations I struggle with attachment to. When these things bring out certain parts of you it’s difficult not to associate happiness with them and to not resist change that appears to take away that joy.

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R.V. Star (151) (@rickvonstar) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Ellie,

the easiest task is the task of non-action because it requires no effort.

It takes effort to become attached

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

It’s not easy because it’s re-wiring your ingrained thinking habits.

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Peter (152) (@searchingforthetruth) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Ellie,

I understand now, its a matter of changing your perspective. I would think that you should view all those situations and people as smaller intricate pieces to the larger journey you are taking. If you view life as smaller steps to your eventual awakening, you won’t be so attached to pieces. These smaller pieces will always make up your larger journey that you take….but they are just that…pieces. If you attach yourself to the past, you’ll miss the future and the things you must learn.

These situations and people you attach yourself too does not equate to happiness. Its the mental mode you’ve created during these times that have allowed you to enjoy them. If you view every forthcoming person and situation as an opportunity for the same amount of happiness, I wouldn’t see any reason to be so attached to the past that it impedes your forthcoming journey.

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R.V. Star (151) (@rickvonstar) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

It is that easy, just give up already

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R.V. Star (151) (@rickvonstar) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

If non-attachment is a non-action, then how can you practice it? You can’t practice something that isn’t an action.

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

I don’t know… Fuck. If it’s so simple, why is it so difficult?

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Peter (152) (@searchingforthetruth) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Yes you can Keenan. Thought is action in itself. It requires much effort to change the way you think.

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R.V. Star (151) (@rickvonstar) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Haven’t you ever noticed thoughts arising without any effort? Of course, so then it’s not true that thoughts require effort. But actions always require effort (as in a will that initiates them)

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R.V. Star (151) (@rickvonstar) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

It’s difficult because YOU are in the way

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Peter (152) (@searchingforthetruth) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

@Keenan

Yes I have noticed that in some instances thoughts do arise without effort.
But that does not mean thoughts are not action. That does not indicate that one does not require effort to think. Does all your thinking happen in an instance and requires no effort on your part? Do all answers come to you instantaneously?

Changing the way you create thoughts requires much effort.

What is action? Action is movement through space and time. Thought is movement through time. Space and Time are One.

Edit: I should say..changing the way you create thoughts requires effort though perceiving the world differently.

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R.V. Star (151) (@rickvonstar) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Here’s another question for you: WHO is in control here? Thoughts that pop into your head and cause emotional physiological reactions which in turn feed more thoughts?

Stop being pushed around by thought-emotion cycles.

You must contemplate WHO is in control here? WHO is running the show?

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Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

It IS that simple, and that’s why it seems so hard to you. Difficulty is mostly something you create for yourself, it’s simple and easy but you make it hard.

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R.V. Star (151) (@rickvonstar) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Haha! got me!

Yes, sometimes thought requires effort, but more often than not this kind of thought is more along the lines of contemplation. Thought and contemplation are different in that thinking is outward looking and contemplation is inward looking.

Yes, you are right, contemplation does require a will of inquiry (effort)

Peter I would disagree when you say “thought is movement through space and time,” because time is a measurement of motion, nothing actually moves “in time” as if it some kind of ocean.

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Peter (152) (@searchingforthetruth) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

lol

Well I would argue that if you are thinking through time, you are moving through space. I can’t specify the actual difference..because I don’t know and most scientists are baffled by this as well.

Edit…Well we are moving…the earth is rotating through space at 16,000 miles per hour.

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Alex (551) (@hollowinfinity) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Makes you wonder a little more when you realize Karma actually means Action. So in a sense non-attachment is removing yourself from karma. Send nothing out, get nothing back.

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Peter (152) (@searchingforthetruth) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

But then you get nowhere. You send out good actions, you receive good karma and you move forward in your journey. If you send out bad actions, you receive bad karma, and you retreat in your journey.

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R.V. Star (151) (@rickvonstar) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Aw yes, the ultimate questions of the universe…..

I think this problem of attachment seems difficult in the same way as if you are the seeker and you seek the seeker, you won’t find it because that which is sought is the place from where you are seeking.

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R.V. Star (151) (@rickvonstar) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Nah why would you want to go anywhere? The best place is here, now.

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