First off, I am not pregnant. But, I never want to be either. I don’t want to get pregnant, I don’t want to feel the baby inside me, I don’t want to see it inside me, I don’t want to go through labor, I don’t want to do any of that. But I want MY baby. Mine and my Husbands baby. Should I see if I could hire a serrogant mother? I don’t know. But, I know I do not want to be pregnant even though I have no reason to feel this way.
I feel like you should sort out why you have such strong feelings about it before agreeing to raise a human the upcoming two decades. This needs to sink in, especially if you’re not bluntly reminded every day for nine months about a life inside of you.
@paintedbeings, Thing is there is no reason or even origin of these feelings. How do you sort something out if there’s no cause? Like, I was never scared by pregnancy and I am no afraid of it. When I try to remember ever being excited about having the baby I can never think of a time. Every time I see a baby it feels me with a warmness but I just can’t stand the idea of being pregnant. FOR NO APPARENT REASON. Ya know? It’s like a child fearing the dark, they have never seen the monsters they fear, but still they fear them. Except that I don’t fear pregnancy, I just don’t want it. I am more than happy to raise a newborn into an adult, the sleepless nights, crying, changing, grounding, schooling, sex, drugs, friends, pain, love, happiness, toys, messes, frustrations. I want all of it. but not the pregnancy, I don’t want that. But, also, I want the baby to be mine, my egg my husbands sperm. I don’nt want someone elses baby. (Not to sound selfish) I just don’t entertain the idea of adoption. I just want my baby without the pregnancy.
@monica9494721, i don’t think its safe having babies if you aren’t sure you have a mental disorder, or suspect one based on not wanting to carry out pregnancy through own body. Simply put, your problem is that not having pregnancy is more desirable than having a baby. Pregnancy is some serious loss of control of your body, and its understandable that it would make a person uncomfortable with the idea of it happening to them, but the medical field isn’t going to agree to risk lives to let you cut corners based on “just ’cause, not sure why”.
@paintedbeings, I know I have at least 2 metal disorders, thanks, and, I never said they’d let me. I said I don’t want a pregnancy based on nothing I have found so far.. I was wondering if others had ideas about it.. if they thought of a reason. I was just curious.. Besides, having a or multiple metal disorders doesn’t necassarily mean you can’t handle kids.
@monica9494721, well mental disorders or not, insight about yourself is always helpful in cases like these because it seems like your only sure option to get your OWN baby. If you want to use your own egg, gestational is the only other way to have a being made from you and your husband. I still stand by my recommendation to consider exploring your feelings as the least roadblocked method in this case at hand. Realistically, when you apply for he process of having another do the pregnancy, your mental wellness and moral fit to be a parent will be questioned along with all the other evaluations and it could definitely be a big red flag of rejecting you as an applicant. The not wanting to be pregnant and not knowing why part I mean.
@paintedbeings, Like I haven’t already considered that. Like I just assumed that it’s completely open to the public to do this. I know I have to be unfit in some way. Maybe I am and don’t know it yet, maybe just simply the fact that I feel so unstable will be enough. We just have to see.
no, wait, they’re making them http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/brave-new-world-uk-ethicist-wants-women-to-abandon-motherhood-use-artificia
@monica9494721, I notice you allow yourself a lot of maybe’s but still say a firm “never” about your pregnancy feelings. I think, with time, things will make sense for you or change your mind. You seem really thrilled with motherhood, so I don’t think you should jinx yourself as unfit until you are clearer about who you are and why that person finds pregnancy undesirable.
If you choose surrogacy, I believe you can get away with social reasons like career or vanity in some places, but still consider the emotional risks.
This could be a nice topic to explore ethically since apparently artificial wombs are a reality within a decade…
time to take my soma!
@paintedbeings, They are maybe’s because I can’t pin point the reason, it’s firm because I know for a fact I don’t want to. Same with some other things I highly disagree with, those jsut have more reasons, but anyway, I don’t need to find that person. I know myself and I have found her, and she doesn’t want a pregnancy. I wasn’t like this till I did finally find myself this summer. And now, here I stand, wishing i hadn’t found her,
@monica9494721, Well my honest opinion is you really need time, summer was not long ago at all, brain needs months to process things – it sounds way too soon to know. Also, your child is gonna be a young adult and may really desire to know why another person birthed them and their own egg donor mother did not want to bring them into the world herself. This is a pretty heavy emotional subject to consider, and its not going to be about you but about the daughter/son. I’m just throwing this out there for you to consider. Babbay is a big decision and an irreversible one. You sound regretful of things few months ago, take it easy.
Regretful? No, not regretful. Just, wiser, more in touch with the decisions I’ve made, why I made them, and why it wasn’t the bst choice to make them the way I did. I can respond to my children in a way that they will understand but that doesn’t tell them that I was just too skiddish.. Telling my kid isn’t even close to something I fear. And I already know thta babyes, toddlers, kids, teens, are a handful. I know that. But, like I already said, I want all of that.
@paintedbeings, Because that’s life, it’s an everything. It’s something that carries on your genes, a reminder that you have something to live for, A life lesson that you can’t learn anywhere else. A child brings happiness and love that any other things just cant do. It’s opportunity, success, failure, mistakes, lessons, Its a life. A life that you influence and a contribution to the next generation.
@monica9494721, If you’re a person who accept the idea of life after life and reincarnation then you might want to find a hypnotherapist who specializes in past life regression. The way you described yourself as you relate to the idea of pregnancy has past life issue written all over it. It’s actually not as unusual as it may sound, A successful PLR can happen regardless. It’s not dependent on you believing in it or not. If you’re curious to explore further “views from the far side”, check out these links:
@donjaime23, … Like I said in the post about his crying, I love him and there’s no reason I shouldn’t. A little bit of crying that annoys me has no affect on my relationship with him. I talked through a lot with him and that hasn’t happened in a while now. But, yes that is still the same guy I was talking about in that post.
not everyone has the beaver dam built into their tear ducts
@monica9494721, I’m glad to hear he’s making progress…
…and the next to time you wonder why your baby cries so much, you’ll know where he/she gets it from!