So, I’m 15 years old. I got interested in spirituality, existentialism, meditation, and the such in the summer of this year (2017). In the summer of 2016 I had some kind of awakening that felt as if my mind widened and expanded. Since that summer i now have a perfectionist mindset with everything. For Example, I have a daily to-do list and if I forget to do one thing on it then my mind starts going crazy. That’s one problem. Another problem I have is that i kind of got rid of social anxiety and shyness with these enlightening summers but It’s strating to come back because when I try to talk to people at school they don’t seem interested in me, so i have no friends and don’t know what to do. That problem leads to my next problem. Since I don’t have any friends, I don’t do anything all day but sit on my laptop and watch videos. most of the videos I watch are kind of motivational spirituality videos and i watch them so much that if i come across a problem in life i have to see if these videos have answers for me. One last problem is that i can’t seem to not do egotistical things like eat unhealthily, only look out for myself, get angry at people, etc.. This monotonous life is killing me and i hate it. If anyone could help that would be greatly apreciated.