Proof of the chupucabra

 Maxwell Martinson (@martimax000)6 years, 11 months ago

Today while chilling I found a sweet smokespot! It was a nice little creek with some heavy bush surrounding for easy recon and a small chance of piggy interference. I sat down and nestled myself in a little pocket of tall grass that lined the curb of the creek. Crossing my legs and feeling my pants tighten, I could feel the curvy nature of my bowl, pressing against my leg along with my blinky stinky lighter. I wonder what kinds of things are said between bowls and lighters. They spend so much time chilling that there has to be a good bond betwixt their simple little minds haha.
I gathered my materials, packed a nice medium bowl, and began to smoke. You should know that my favorite bowl’s name is skinky, he is a turquoise/maroon mix, kind of a mut I guess haha; the guy I bought him from was a good salesmen and had great smoking taste. Smoking here was so nice! First a little squirrel dude crawled my way for some innocent chatter.. It was so NUTS! Hahahah. He scooted over timidly and sat closer than any squirrel before him. At first I was confused – what could make a squirrel so curious about a man sitting in his territory? Did he smell the bud and want to smoke? I wasn’t sure. After some still eye contact, the little guy scampered away into the abyss of nature. Hopefully he found a few materials to make a piece, bubbler or grinder so that he could smoke (MAYBE).
Then, upon completion of my first bowl, everything started to get real goofy. The stream, glistening in the sweet blaze of morning sun, started to turn the most lavender of blues and reds. The wind rustled through the trees in sweet harmony with the sound of my nug being ground into tiny little buddies for me to smoke. I heard a couple of giggling cuties in the distance, and my curiosity began to twist and swirl. I decided to keep smoking and forget about the cuties for the time being. I deeply inhaled the first rip of my fresh bowl. Deeper and deeper the smoke sunk down; I was getting so high even before exhaling! hahahah. THEN.. as I exhaled, my eyes closed and I began to appreciate the chill and happy nature of my situation. The sun beat down onto my closed eyes and gave birth to a few trippy twisties of chromatic beauty beneath my lids. Upon opening said lids, I was covered in my exhaled smoke. I literally could not see anything.. MY RIP WAS HUGE!!!
The fog cleared and what did I see in front of me? I could not believe my fuckin eyes, lo and behold, the creator of all the universe had given me a sweet, natural gift.
It was a chupacabra.
Holy shit was it ever a sweet and lovely beast. Many people think that these guys are grumpy little demons, but in reality they are quite friendly dudes. Mostly subject to myths and legends, chupucabras have never been proven to be real, but rest assured, sweet goodly smoky buggybear, they are real. I sat in awe for a few instances, waiting for this guy to make first contact. Our eyes were locked for a good four and one third minutes.
I gave him a look up and down. He was a dog-like beast, green hair twisting from each of his sweet little pores. His face was smiling with the happiness of a dude who had just chiefed a fat skinky with his cronies in the summertime. His eyes were dark pink with yellow swirlies for pupils. The mouth was half agape, his lower jaw hanging down like a nice panting puppy. His two front chompers were long and pointed, swirling in a few circulations like the horn of a ram. He took a few steps toward me… a few more… a few more, until I could smell his breath. I looked into his eyes and saw the breadth of a universe that has yet to be perceived by man. Every shift in his eyes gave me a message of nice, brotherly peace. If he could speak English, I would have asked him to smoke. He got up so close to me that our eyes were but a few inches apart.
Then, as I was peaking, he shifted back a few steps, checked his watch, and said in a deep, sub-base demon-like voice, “Hello human. Check the time.” I pulled out my pocket watch and looked at the time. When I saw, my heart skipped a beat. I could not fucking believe it. I looked back at the chupucabra and he smiled a dirty, skeevy smile.
“It’s four-twenty,” he said, “time to smoke.”
I have never been so happy.
Then he took the deepest breath inward I have ever seen a creature take, his eyes reddening consistently. After holding his breath for a second, he breathed out the most massive cloud of smoke I have ever seen. It blew up into the wind and swirled with a strange and beautiful consistency. We then looked at each other and laughed really fuckin hard. I closed my eyes and laughed for a long time. His laugh was one of the funniest I have heard. It was laced with gigglies and twigglies, bursts and screams of joy.
Once I opened my eyes though, the two giggling cuties were in his place giggling at me. I had no energy to deal with these girls. They made me wonder whether or not I had really seen the chupacabra – was I just super high? Anyway, I payed them no attention and fell asleep in the grass.

May 7, 2014 at 11:54 am
load more