Ive been smoking daily, not much usually 1 joint every afternoon to relax for the rest of the day but for a while now I have been getting a bit more than I expect, I started questioning the universe and its sheer size, where everything or anything initially came from as the big bang theory doesnt seem logical to me, I had a need for knowledge I would end up spending alot of my time watching documentrys and reading about the pyramids and other mysteries of the world, wanting to know about dreams and why we have them, all sorts of things i was obsessed with knowledge. My Highs started to turn almost scary, I would look at everything from a different perspective, Music sounding very intense, everything has started to look fake, conversations about normal chitchat were extremly confusing as it all seemed pointless. I had the idea that existence cant be possible and that everything was some how a dream and I felt like everything was all one big dream happening at once, i was everything and everybody because its all part of my dream and nothing exists, and its not a good feeling when you genuinely believe you dont exist. I also saw something a couple of times, I cant really explain it but it was like pure creation in my head, it made so much sense at the time, I felt like what i saw was the beginning and the end of life and existence itself, just raw creation and i was one with it, everything that exists was contained in a box with nothing outside of it, and i was it.
This probably doesnt make much sense to most people lol but has anybody experienced anything similar? What I have written is still not half of it, just me trying to remember it all. If I got high im sure it will all come back to me.
the ultimate mind and spirit feel your body , your feet , the radiation. Mind and spirit are not earth reality. Your feet are. Or simple said, get in the presence and in the body. As here on earth there is form and shape and limits. Getting in the clouds and high is just a vision of higher ecistence:-) . But not daily reality
Im not sure how this comment is really helpful?
what you describe are increasing experiences of depersonalisation and derealisation. It is not good. And reaching for more pot will not clarify the thoughts you have had, just make them more confusing. I suggest you let go of the Pot.. it is altering your mind and your brain. .
I understand what you are saying. May I give some advice on your path? You’ll need to figure out how to balance the One Consciousness (seeing outside of yourself) and the Physical reality / day to day existence. We live in a Duality. All atoms / electrons are both waves & particles. They change due to the observed reality. If there is no observer, no ego, then all energy and matter functions as potential possibility. The particle structure is physical reality. Therefore, the big secret meaning of all. Is that in this life, you can be here and now, and also no where at all. As a supreme being, we have the ability to tap into all knowledge all energy, and we can choose to play our character / ego. Awareness of yourself and the world around you is key. You should take steps to develop your physical health. Your emotional health. Your mental and intellectual knowledge base. All of these aspects of our human experience connect to the higher spiritual self. And most importantly, concentrate on love for yourself and others. Love and Light.