I’m almost certain that I have went through an awakening process; intense vibration inside my head for over a week, a scalp that felt like things were crawling on it ( I literally went out and bought lice shampoo, no lice though), a tingling sensation on the flat part of the back of my head, intense feelings of bliss (I cried), my intuition has gotten better; my phone is just filled with wise things that undergrad students don’t say. I have had an intense passion for truth and justice for the last few years, but most importantly my intent is pure (I think). I think in terms of humanity and not in terms of myself, race, or country. I can’t stop talking about reality, God, freeing humanity from its chains, etc…I’m having synchronicity occur very often. One day the ‘miles left in tank’ indicator in my car read 111 for a half hour, it was only after I thought ‘hey that’s weird’ that it changed, right in front of me…they’ve correlated with my thoughts, I’ve woken up looking at it several times, I have stopped doubting that it’s a coincidence and started smiling when I see it. But how do I find meaning in it?
Anyways, I’m looking for guidance. Do I trust my intuitions, they are telling me that I’m Jesus, i don’t ever want to claim I’m someone that I’m not. But my intuition is not telling me that I’m special per say, but that Jesus was human, an Enlightened one, and everyone has this capability. I’m trying to find purpose, but my ego is creeping in. Should my ego and intuition merge, or should I be keeping my enlightened state to myself? Also, if anyone can help me learn to walk on water that would be great :) JK
If you truly are enlightened then you should solve your questions yourself instead of seeking guidance, otherwise it’s possible that you are experiencing apophenia. Your ego seems attached to the idea that it is a savior. You should definitely trust your intuitions but have them scrutinized through meditation and filtered through reason; you don’t want to live as who you think you are or could be but as who you really are.
As Kant famously put it:
“Enlightenment is man’s release from his self-incurred tutelage. Tutelage is man’s inability to make use of his understanding without direction from another. Self-incurred is this tutelage when its cause lies not in lack of reason but in lack of resolution and courage to use it without direction from another.”
I appreciate your response Shaman Naman. Naturally, I’m egotistical, I’m good looking, I’m a good athelete, I’m intelligent, I have a strong sense of morality, and a perspective that is not solely concerned with Ego. I’ve worked very hard to suppress my Ego overtime, but it’s not gone completely. Since my awakening, I’ve had an internal struggle happening between my voice of reason and my Ego, which tells me that my voice must be heard, and that I can alter the path humanity is heading down by proving the existence of God using deduction. I’m trying to form an argument from intentionality but I it’s hard to prove that Mind and intentionality are necessary preconditions for creation, as in the manipulation of matter from one form to another (I’m a philosophy/history student). On the other hand, my voice of reason tells me that I’m not the only person who has reached this state of awareness, and attempts to suppress my Ego. Someone told me that they should merge and that that should happen naturally for me. Given my understanding of how the world works, I am convinced that the elite are purposely suppressing the fact that spirtual Enlightenment is real, and since I’ve went through this process, I have verified it. It’s extrodinary. The question is whats next? I feel like I must fulfill my purpose, literally, my awakening process happened right around the time that I said I would give my life for the betterment of humanity, how can I say this, and then not devout myself to the cause? You are right, I don’t really need a lot of spirtual guidance, I’m usually the one giving it, but I think a mentor can help me refine my Ego and intuition, and keep me focused on the cause.
And for the record, I’ve never actually “meditated.” I do go into the slow and deep reflective states often, in fact, I’m almost always in this state of reflection, but I’m never in a meditative state, I’m always fully conscious, and never disconnected from reality per se. I’m in phenomenology this semester and I’m very exicited to learn how to perform the phenomenological reduction.