Removing Lust For Possible Clarity

Marvie (@marvie) 8 years, 10 months ago

Greetings HEthens, good day to you all.
A while ago I recalled reading an article on a woman who felt no lust (I cannot find that article again, my apologies.) She discussed on how she felt no different to one gender and that friendship with the opposite sex was not awkward at the least. It also enabled her to have in depth conversations with anybody.
Over the past months I have attempted to complete the 30 day non-masturbation challenge to see how it would affect my social life with girls to see whether or not it would enable me to generally be around them more easily.
After failing multiple times, I decided that my thought process wild have to change. Why was I doing this? After days of thinking I realized that lust has not allowed me to see friendship with the opposite sex and that it usually harms my ability to think. Also makes me anxious.
In addition, in my case, lust is more clear than love. Usually I am in the situation that I think I might have true feelings for one another when looked at later after I got over it it was all lust.
I then began to think whether or not lust is needed in love. People such as Jesus, Gandhi, and a plethora of other people say that they love everybody. Since they loved everybody (equally I assume), lust must not be included in their love.

So now to the topic. If one was to remove lust entirely, would that make room for potential clarity, friendliness, enlightenment. Also, by removing lust, can that person be able to see true love rather than love disguised.

January 26, 2013 at 10:57 am
Tine (366) (@tine) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

Yes, you are on the verge of a great discovery, continue down this path and consider how other distractions can obscure your perspective on reality as well

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vedh (1) (@asachdev) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@marvie, i believe we all are wired that way. Lust or a strong desire to want something motivates us to achieve it. IF one was completely deprived of it i think it would make a difference but not by making things clearer. We tend to look for some meaning in sex power or dominance while the bigger questions stay unanswered. If lust was taken out of the picture then today’s society would have no meaning. I think lust is just a hurdle for the one who wants to achieve enlightenment.

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Tine (366) (@tine) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@asachdev,

its not a perpetual deprivation, it is a momentary deprivation to show you can control your mind, once demonstrated deprivation is no longer needed because control of will and clarity of vision is known

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Adam (118) (@moonglade) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@marvie, You shouldn’t try to get rid of lust you should try to just be comfortable with sexuality. The problem isn’t that because you think your female friend is sexy you can’t have a deep conversation with her. The problem is that you aren’t comfortable with female friends you think are sexy therefore you can’t have meaningful conversations with them.

Don’t try to get rid of your sexual drive just don’t let it control you. Regard it as an afterthought.

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Max Nachamkin (170)C (@feren6) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@marvie,

Just like @moonglade said, “Don’t try to get rid of your sexual drive just don’t let it control you.”

Embrace your sexuality. Ignoring it or trying to repress it will only cause problems.

Back in the day when I had more female friends than guy friends, I would tell myself that it’s great to have female friends and to “just be friends”. But I knew deep down that I really liked them more on a sexual level.

One time at a party I got drunk and hit on one of them. She brought it up the next day and said.. “Max wtf..you hit on me last night.”

At that point, I couldn’t deny it. I was embarrassed, but I strictly remember being way more physical than I normally was, so I just agreed.

You knew what happened?

We “forgot about it”, developed a deeper connection, and ended up hooking up anyways. The time process it took to develop that deeper connection: months.

If only I had understood and embraced my sexuality beforehand, it would’ve happened sooner. It was only a matter of time before my natural feelings came out..so why hide them?

Lust is great as long it doesn’t make you a creepy dude who just wants to fuck a bunch of girls and then throw them on the street. It shows other people that you’re human, and it will in fact HELP you develop those deep relationships that you’re seeking.

Embrace your lust, just don’t let it control you.

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PeaceRiot (178) (@peaceriot) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@marvie, After reading all of these posts I have the following to say:

Lust is human nature. Removing lust would be in a way separating yourself from the rest of mankind (Not Society as we all strive to do). By separating yourself from the rest of humanity you are making it difficult to empathize and understand people and vise-versa. What I would do instead of separating myself from my human nature, I would separate myself from the fake corrupted lust such as pornography. Another thing that you could do without forever is masturbation.
CAUTION THIS PART GETS LEWD
When I used to be self pleasing (If You Know What I Mean)
I would go over scenarios in my head that would arouse me until I achieved (and boom goes the dynamite)
These scenarios weren’t real scenarios of real things that were happened. (Just like in pornography right?)
But I would fixate on these fake fantasies. Worse than that, NONE OF IT NEVER HAPPEND. My friend once I gave up porn and masturbation my social life got vastly better.

>THIS IS THE REBUILD<

1. Once you've given up porn and masturbation you can start researching how to talk to girls (There are wrong ways and you can really creep girls out).

2. Start branching out and make new friends and

3. Give up on the girls you already know and meet new ones!

(The girls you know already are probably not interested in you. I could be wrong but your soul-mate could be out there just waiting for the porn/masturbation free you to sweep her off her feet.)

2&3 go hand in hand. This is all my opinion and if anybody disagrees then please feel free to stomp this. This is what I've experienced and it worked great for me. ;D

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Marvie (9) (@marvie) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@moonglade, @feren6,
Yes, I entirely agree that removing it perpetually would not be a profitable. In fact, it could be harmful. However, as @tine said, this is also a test of control and realization of deprivation and abundance of lust (sorry if I summarized your post wrong.)

In a recent self experiment, I began fasting for 2 days. The reason why I began this was because I had gone through a phase (around a few months) of grossly overeating. I had never fasted before, and to be honest, I had never been truly hungry before (never missing a meal.) I decided that since I have experienced with one side of hunger/food, the gluttonous side, I had to experience the other half in order to fully recognize hunger/pleasure of food itself. Alike to the lust experiment, I had began to eat food just for the hell of eating instead of eating for joy/hunger. I had begun to lose my value in food, and started to see it as a right that I have an abundance of food rather than a privilege. So I embarked on the fasting. Not going into further details about that experiment, but once I had experienced full deprivation and full gluttony, I would be able to balance the two opposites and form an acceptance of conflicting forces.

“Embrace your sexuality. Ignoring it or trying to repress it will only cause problems.”
I also agree. However, others such as I have gotten to a point where the emotion of lust no longer becomes an emotion that one can embrace. It becomes an inner force that must either be resisted or followed. Alike to the food, the lust can no longer be an indulgence that can be enjoyed, but a chore.
Alike to the fasting experiment, IMO one cannot truly embrace something unless they have been deprived of it. So in order to give value to lust, one must be deprived of it.

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