Hello fellow HEthens. Sitting on my porch tonight smoking Spirits with some hot tea I began to wonder…what am I doing? Why am I smoking? It offers no real high to speak of, I do it because I enjoy it. Some will cry bullshit. You’re addicted. I can honestly say I’m not. I’ve quit for periods of weeks and months in the past, but I always seem to pick it back up at a party or kickback or sleepless night. Perhaps it helps me think like Freud.
Whatever the case, my smoking is not in pursuit of a grand idea. Call me a dreamer, but I’ve wanted to climb the Himalayas since I was a kid. I know this is no small feat, it will take years of climbing experience before Nepal is in sight. But I also know I’m sure as hell not climbing Mt. Everest and smoking cigarettes at the same time. I must be in peak physical condition. I can see my path there: save up some cash, get the proper gear, and start climbing. Mt. Hood, Mt. Shasta, on to the Cascades…it’s really very simple.
Why aren’t I moving in that direction? Why aren’t I doing something every day? These questions come to mind, but I never find myself doing anything about them when they arise. I want to start. I know how to go. But I’m not. Is the enjoyment of each individual smoke worth ruining this chance? I feel like I’m selling my dreams for small desires. Incidentally, Neil Peart is as amazing a lyricist as he is drummer. I think I’ll stick with tea by itself from now on.
You want to climb Mt. Everest, the daily things that you are talking about are the ones that will become your companions out there. So gather and develop your resources just like you save cash to buy the next baggie! hope you enjoy your tea =) Its alllll YOU. Imagine that amazing amazing feeling you will get when you do accomplish ascending that peak? source your motivation…. and use it to direct your behaviour today.
You creepily sound like the friend I have who a. has a porch I introduced to this site b. like climbing /slash/ hiking c. thinks in a similar, philosophical, life-questioning manner and would d. create an account with an odd/ false sounding (unless that is your real) name LOL! hope so… hope so!
Anyways, I understand how you feel. I don’t know if I had a life passion in the past, missed it along the way, or haven’t found a passion worth dedicating my life to, being a person who has, loved ones would vouch, talent, youth, intelligence, bright potential for the future etc… who also probably believe me to be a little ‘lost’ depression, not many friends/ lonely in a new place, or whether they thinks its because cause they think I do drugs I may or may not do, pretty much just the Buddha. To get to my point, I can relate, knowing I have the ABILITY to go out and do something, anything, hike, ski, draw, sing… I know I have the drive, the motivation, the will power and strength and CONTROL! to harness the potential energy within and beyond my ability to do what ever the hell I want! I KNOOOW I have the abilities necessary to summon the drive and motivation and will within me.
It just feels like there is a barrier between me and the me I want to become, an ideal me that I can never be but always strive to become. On a completely honest note, just in an attempt to reach out to another, seemingly (no offense) like-minded person, I haven’t told anyone but in my attempts to answer your and similar questions for myself, I think fear is the barrier I am keeping myself locked in. For the past 7 years smoking, opened my mind, drove me to learn, grow, accept change and life and happiness and seek them. No heavy drugs came into play, but in a way still refine me within an alternate state of mind, where even though they were originally and I suppose philosophically used for those reasons, but I guess became the strength of the barrier of fear that keeps me from myself.
I hope I put my thoughts together well enough for you. I wanted to share because I have gotten to the stage where I know what I have to do, what I choose and want to do to change and gain control over my vices and weaknesses in order to overcome them mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually and in a manner where I can guide, train, teach, become the ideal human being I want to be. It is much harder to get what you must work, train and strive to obtain than to settle or give a half-assed effort. So just like many people I am also impatient, and when the majority of people don’t see immediate progress they become cynical, and pessimistic, which is common at the first notice of anything negative.
At first glimpse, most people don’t think they’re strong enough to mentally envision themselves doing/ overcoming these things, and if they can’t even take a minute to fucking imagine them doing these things them selves than I think its inevitable that they won’t make the effort to. Say they make the effort, is it just because one CAN? physically obstacle, mental puzzle, emotional control??? Personally I don’t see the use in one strength. If its just because I can physically climb a mountain and physically can, people require the heart, desire, will and drive to accomplish their goals. Mental focus, emotional balance and control, physical health – to the fundamentals of proper sleep, hygiene, diet (you can be chubby and a semi-decent/healthy diet).
SOOOOOO Sorry for such the long sputter of cascading thoughts of opinion rushing about. Like I said, I’m at a stage where I’m trying to answer questions like these about myself and applying them to my life in practice and philosophy. Our ability to simply imagine ourselves and abilities to manifest a reality we choose to create, seems an ancient gift, seemingly only suitable for children in life. I know and believe I can accomplish whatever I set my mind to, it just seems people don’t think of or believe in themselves beyond a materialistic veil.
Glad to hear my name is so interesting! It’s as real as godbud in a good bong. Warila is Finnish in origin. I definitely appreciate the thoughtful response. I think you may be right about the fear part of things. Really TRYING at something is a legitimately scary topic. Universe vs You.
I believe this is why, no matter how ‘good’ of a lifestyle any given celebrity chooses to live, there will ALWAYS be those to pull them down. The culture of being cool is, in its sophomoric stages, the culture of not trying. Its definition seems to take on a more genuine, self-defined form, as people age into their 20s and 30s (I am 19), at least as far as I see things. But the lure of this ‘being cool’ thing is that if you’re not trying at something, one gets gets the illusion that they can be ANYTHING by holding onto the feeling of anticipation.
So you’re right. It is really simple and somewhat cliche. Just. Let. Go.
This is common across the board; you can see it with climate change, the science cannot be denied but the scope and time frames involved simply do not appeal to people who live closer to the moment. I’d say people should make their choice; live in the moment or live with the full scale, it is when they are in limbo between the two that shit follows.
If Everest is your goal then go for it. But just so you know that is a lot of great treks in Nepal such as the Annupurna Circuit that aren’t nearly as technical as summiting the big mountains but yet let you fully experience the spiritual wonder of the Himalayas….and not only do they sell ganja on the trail, but the cannibis plants grow 10 feet tall and are the dominant flora in many areas. (Ganja is a sanskrit word and thought to originate in that area.)
““The only Zen you find on tops of mountains is the Zen you bring there.”
– Robert Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance