Sex before marriage?

Nabila (@themonkeyshizz) 10 years, 9 months ago

Well, I think sex is fun and it defiantly connects two people together. Should you have sex before marriage…it really depends. If you love this person,they love you, they respect you and your boundaries then I say there is nothing really wrong with it. The only thing I worry about is STD’s, remember to always wrap it up if you know what I mean! I read a statistic that 1 in 5 people have and STD and that is gross! So just be careful. On the other hand, if you want to save yourself for marriage there is nothing wrong with that!!!! And if the man you are with cannot respect your decision then he is not the man for you.

August 19, 2011 at 5:28 pm
Nabila (0) (@themonkeyshizz) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

well ive been brought up in quite a strict religious background so i have been raised with certain values and so for me sex before marriage is unacceptable and i personaly wouldnt do it anyway. but i know most people have different views and i want to know your opinion and point of view

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

That depends, are you religious?

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Alex (551) (@hollowinfinity) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

I believe that having sex with your partner is something almost necessary before getting married. It connects you with your partner in ways you cant even describe. What if you got married, and found out you weren’t all that compatible in bed? You couldn’t be intimate? I feel like that would cause mucho problemos.

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Nabila (0) (@themonkeyshizz) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

erm, im not too religious, well i dnt think i am. and alex, if you do find out if your not compatible in bed then couldnt you just work on it

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Alex (551) (@hollowinfinity) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

To an extent, yes..and you could be very successful, but what if you aren’t? Would you rather just live the rest of your lives together without any intimacy? Would it have any implications for having a child if you didn’t conceive it intimately? Of course, not all people need intimacy or sex, or whatever. Personally though, I feel it to be important for me to connect with a person a different way, and form intimate bonds.

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

Well, I am someone who sees marriage as completely unnecessary unless you are religious. Religion aside, why would you marry in the first place? I mean think about it, “I love you honey, and if you love me you’ll sign this contract and wear this ring”. Really… a contract about love? Does that not take away the entire purpose of being with someone because you choose to, and enjoy their company? Being contractually bound completely defeats the purpose, in my opinion. Alex is definitely right that it would suck to find out you’re sexually incompatible after you’ve already tied the knot. I suppose you COULD work on it… and neither of you would really know what you’re missing out on being each other’s firsts and all, but let me tell you, sometimes if the spark isn’t there, it just isn’t there.

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Nabila (0) (@themonkeyshizz) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

I agree with your last point there. what about like one night stands and sleeping around? what do you guys think about that?

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Alex (551) (@hollowinfinity) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

They are just an experience to me. I’ve had them, and don’t care for them. It’s much to impersonal for me. And I agree with you Ellie about marriage, however a perk (unfortunately) is it will help you be more financial secure..it sucks that you have to take away from your love to achieve such things but I guess thats the world we live in.

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

One night stands are fine for the people involved as long as no deception is taking place, and they’re both consenting adults. I’ve never had one myself but I have had sex with someone I just kinda liked and was physically attracted to(I dated them as well, didn’t work out…) and even THAT was empty. So I can’t imagine a one night stand being anything but blah. For me, a mental attraction MUST be present.

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Anonymous (194) (@) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

Sex is fun, it feels good, why deprive yourself of that? That’s just my opinion of course. Sure it can be great in a loving relationship but it doesn’t have to mean anything at all. I just see it as a part of life, one of the best parts, so I’m going to enjoy it as much as I can while I still can (be safe though).

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

I have such a bad double posting habit but I thought of something else to add… There is such a stigma attached to sex, people label each other “prudes” or “sluts” and judge how many partners so and so has and etc. It’s just another thing that shouldn’t be generalized about. It’s different for everybody, some people enjoy casual sex, some people need a romantic connection. Some like multiple partners and some are monogamous. You have to find what’s right for you, there is no guideline that applies across the board. Just do what feels right to you, be safe of course, and don’t let preconceptions about the subject determine how you truly feel about it.

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Nabila (0) (@themonkeyshizz) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

I agree, its the most intimate act human beings have with each other which is why i think people make such a big deal out of it and think it only belongs in a caring relationship, and since marriage is seen to be a definite form of a relationship, people think its better to have sex after marriage

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paul_g (21) (@paulg) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

check these out:
https://www.highexistence.com/discussions/topic/how-old-were-you-when-you-lost-your-virginity https://www.highexistence.com/discussions/topic/virginity-does-it-matter/

i could tell you my view.. but i think.. you’d be helped most if you could clarify for yourself why you’d be asking yourself the question in the first place. e.g., pure curiousity what people on HE think, trying to find your way, current issue (boyfriend), planning the future, possible detachment from family values, etc., etc.

but here goes: in my opinion, willingly going very early can be a long-lasting issue if you get pregnant way too early, if your cultural surrounding will make life hell for you, or if you catch a STD. other than that, i think it’s not such a big deal either way. for myself, i wish i’d talked more about sex with every girl from the beginning, waited longer with every girl, but of course wouldn’t have minded more different girls :) in summary, sex is way not as much fun without an enormous spiritual connection, at least not for me, but it is a lot of fun if there is a connection. tc

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Luigi (1,453) (@luigiblue) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

I believe in connecting with human beings mentally and physically (women physically of course). Having sex with a woman to me is more than just an act after marriage. It’s two human beings sharing an intimate experience, sharing their energy, sharing their orgasm and creating this bond. Two humans connected as one in that moment of absolute ecstasy. When I have sex with a woman its more than just an act of humping, its an experience. How often do you get to be so close to another human body and mind, you should take it all in and enjoy it whilst pleasuring her as well. On the other hand, if you are planning on creating another life and having a baby, then I would think it could be better for both partners to be in a loving relationship, not exactly married, but some sort of relationship.

I don’t connect sex and marriage at all. I am knocking marriage at all though, I personally don’t want to get married because I think people are too spoiled to get married. One little problem and they run off, one little problem and they cheat. It’s not how it used to be.

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Rain (23) (@rain) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

I think that sex….comes in many forms and is BEST experienced between two people that share SOME form of connection, be it just physical passion or something emotionally deeper.

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Luigi (1,453) (@luigiblue) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

I also agree that there is no such thing as only loving one person. You can be stranded on an island with someone you absolutely hate, eventually you will love them. Whether it’s you falling in love, or just having love for them. Humans, no matter which type, are capable of LOVE and we are capable in loving everyone.

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Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

What do you think of eating food before inventing the oven? What do you think of showering before inventing deodorants? What do you think of looking at the moon before any one decided to build a rocket?

The year is 2011, science has a stronger influence on society than ever before, liberty is praised more in society than ever before, sex is being romanticised in society more than ever before, religious crazies are fewer in society than ever before. How could anyone have anything against sex before marriage?

Sex before marriage is like having a hand before making a glove, or having money before buying something. It’s natural and logical, doing it the other way around makes no sense at all and to be frank it’s dumb.

It’s an intimate act of love and joy and pleasure. Those are good things, you know. It’s known as ‘making love’ for a reason. Why would you want to stifle love? Sex is one of our basic needs, without it we don’t function very well. Marriage is a strange concept invented by deceivers.

Sure, marriage can be something good and beautiful, but usually it’s just a miserable pile of lies and disgusting thoughts. Trying to force your life into strange paths just to have a nice marriage in an imaginary future isn’t sane behavior.

I would never marry someone I hadn’t had sex with, I wouldn’t even have her as a girlfriend. You don’t build a house without a foundation (it even says so in the religious books.) Sex is the foundation, relationship is the rest of the house, marriage is the little ornaments on the exterior. Some people like ornaments, some don’t, some don’t have any opinion on ornaments. To each his own. But trying to apply ornaments to a house that doesn’t exist or a house that has no foundation would be crazy.

You’re stifling love. Love is the blueprint and the materials for the house. And I do respect your opinion, but after all you’re here asking others about their opinions for a reason.

Peace and love // Manimal

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Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

@luigi RIGHT OONN!

It’s impossible to love only one person. Love is never subjective. Either you love everything, or you do not love at all. Everything in between is just you trying to fool yourself.

When people talk about love, most people are actually talking about addictions or liking. It’s sad, but true.

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kristina (0) (@stajna) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

I would never marry a person without having sex with him/her first. If I hadnt had that deep intimate relation with the person I wouldnt see the point of marrying, because I wouldn’t feel I really know the person.

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Luigi (1,453) (@luigiblue) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

@ Manimal. Its true, I’ve known hundreds of people who fall in love and say they will never fall in love again, then come 2 years later and they are falling in love with another person. We are ALL capable of loving anyone, whether we like to believe it or not.

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Rain (23) (@rain) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

Love has NO rules. It’s messy, confusing, tangling, all encompassing, and dizzying. It’s fun, scary, heartbreaking, and mind blowingly incredible….

*nods*

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Chris (74) (@comicsanmc) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

Top three causes of divorce are sex, time, and money.

Probably should know what your getting before signing half your life away.

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Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

Sex is meant to be enjoyed, not used as a ritual sacrifice. Sex is also necessary for high performance.

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Chris (74) (@comicsanmc) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

^That^

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Chris (74) (@comicsanmc) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

^That^

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