[Official] Share and discuss your amateur poetry and stories.

 Anonymous (@)8 years, 11 months ago

I recently wanted to challenge myself, so I decided to try my hand at poetry. Since I’ve written a few poems, I’ve really wanted to get some kind of feedback, I’m not sure if they suck or not. So I’m creating this discussion in the hopes people will share their amateur poetry and stories. Only constructive criticisms guys, not everyone is literary genius. I’ll share a poem, if you want to here another of mine, just ask.

An Explorers Ode to Earth

As I see her from afar,
I obtain an inkling of who we are,
Here I sit in this frigid waste,
As if running from her warm embrace,
Just as children must move from home,
Here we travel deep into the unknown.

By- imhotep

June 2, 2012 at 3:41 pm
AwayWithWords (1) (@AwayWithWords) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

serenity for serenities calling
they march haphazardly up the wall
feigning hope and glory made in churches
whoring children voicing salient verses

calamity drenched in iron awe
a quiet desire sent to the core
they tested wills and courage less played
break their humanity before they wake

serenity for serenities calling
they poisoned all with a musical score
trials possessed by a conscious dismay
morosely bested by the passing of days

hope and glory silence unrealised curses
shocking products of wholesome ideals
adverts said fear wouldn’t nurse them
it’s easier if it’s the Enemies meal

stench permeates the purest of air, the
leaders don’t bow to those who serve
let us make both David and Goliath nervous
lush with greed, swallow perversion

serenity for serenities calling
to build this sanctity is the wisest illusion
a single net to catch all lost fishes
cast by children voicing salient verses

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LVX (297) (@Vovinawol) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

+1 to each and every poem on this thread. They are all awesome!

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Anonymous (170) (@) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

@monkeysquestioneverything, I liked it a lot.

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Anonymous (328) (@) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

A circus show, fiends create quite a stir
Stories to yourself, keep them dear
A troubled opinion renders laughter
Fiction made fact through foolish gander
Teach one of the uncertainty, he gathers mold
Let one play in uncertainty, he breaks the mold
Be still, there is no fault, there is no truth

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Emily Irene (65) (@RawPhoenix) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

Jaded.

What do you want to know from me?
How I’ve been?
What I’ve seen?
How I’ve survived?
To answer your jaded questions:
I’ve been dying,
I’ve seen nearly all of it
and just lately
I’ve been surviving through a ritual
of drink, pills
and a never-ending
love & lust for the past.

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

sleep is work in the mind of a thinker, thought patterns multiply as creativity lingers. slow the flow, pull control, find love in darkness; enroll in soul.

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Joseph (114) (@warriors41) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

emotional eyes
conversation lies
its late I’m not tired my brain is fried.
Where is that fire that burns inside?
The pictures hit hard on my heart of stone.
Why do I keep looking if it makes me feel alone.
I know I’m not experienced in the world in which you live.
The fruits are probably flowing,everybody probably gives.
But knowing when I see you, other men must see it too.
How many times have you done things that I’ve never been through.
Still each time were together anywhere it matters not.
If you need my attention my attentions what you got.
The passing of the moments seem to gratify my claim.
If I only had the power to put my view on sustain.
Your smiles are so powerful among them you stand out.
How trivial it must feel for you even when you pout.
I see how hard you concentrate on matters oh so dear.
Sometimes you look annoyed and I think I should disappear.
Yet something deep inside of me is holding out a sign.
Your focused eyes that never stray, if only you’d see mine.

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

dancing in the moment is a life~time of knowing it. blind to the fact of what we don’t want to know in this. mental space~ship. weaving through our bass kicks. oh how we hate this…world of synergistic energy creation…institutionalized deteriorating…conscious revelation’s, visionary explanations through a truthful awakening. futuristic is our making. dream’s the vacation. accept this invitation, or be forced to vacate it. unconscious temptations~~ dormant re~agents to black magic mayhem.

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Gosho (50) (@gosho) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

High Existence
How can we achieve that?
Is it by work and persistence
Is it just by praying to God?

What? You don’t really know?
Of course you do!
It is known by your soul
You just got to let it shine through

Deep inside there is balance
In your essence, in your core
An endless, beautiful dance
Find that, and you will not need to know more

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Shubham Agrawal (1) (@shubham04) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

@imhotep, I recently achieved this state of unmatched bliss while learning Indian Classical music. Tried to describe it for my friends.
Tell me how you all like it. :)
The Unexplored Territory

The territory, unexplored, nearly virgin,
Spanning-short, but profound in its life.

Came to deliverance, when the effort to dwell in the unknown was made.
Where body becomes non-existent and time, unidentified.
Trance-like, but just more cognizant
Everything is reduced to unity.
Just like the waters of infinite ocean-
water everywhere, nothing else exists.

“Beyond mind and speech” realised in its actuality.
As if an angel descended from the heavens & cast a warm light.
Magnificence in its most natural form.

But as I said, spanning-short.

Lost it. Like a sere leaf dropping from a tree.
To the dream, from a dream. In a fraction of seconds.
Where they make a show of love for selfish ends.
Where, they adoringly refer to ‘dying’ as ‘living’.

Adding to my list of desires, but the first of its kind, majorly preternatural
-to get back there.

The longing for an eternal refuge, as if already waving a ‘Hi’ to me.
But this time I want it ‘spanning-long’.

I wish you would understand it too, if you reached there,
inexperienced by bulk,
short-spanning but profound,
here,
the territory, unexlplored, nearly virgin.
@imhotep,

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

welcome gods of destruction. earth guardians run this function. spiritual introduced harmonic brethren wisely portal through crime expanding universal time. moment by moment awe inspiring sacred omens are motioned. i can feel it in my coasting, motionless and zoned in, new eyes roll in. control the finish. represent good business. implant memories in over-dose wing-lifts. forever be clever in owning big gifts. produce the perfect fit for this biological mix. spread might to elevate mythological fix.

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

connect to the internet you fucking piece of shit. immma go feral in this bitch. punch a wall for shits. kick a hole in civilized business. cave man decisions. paint a picture through passionate mischief. fuck a witness. translate christmas into artistic visions. caged terrestrial minutes never missing..break free of thought~based prison, brute force mission.

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

seek truth in a convoluted state. protrude vibrant boosts in spirit, multi-coloured soul ~ hear it. kind of like a rich feeling. lovingly appealed being reeling in feared teachings to cast mirror treaty; subconscious field meeting.

escape your own demon’s preaching opposite achieving, inspecting features~saying not worth reaching … obedience seeking.fuck that. blade’s of grass and pavement cracks does not separate terrestrial packs. we are budding pollen sacks evolving rap’s through paper stacks with dream’s in tact flowing through a timeless mental extract.

life has us in a choke hold, real is a folk lore. kick open gate to infinity core, glimpse the empyrean. complete intelligent decision’s, ascend to the table of risen; the mission. kid’s of prominent vision, god’s humour is with~in us.

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Kripi (313) (@kripimehra97) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/3100000/Romantical-love-painting-photo-love-3195612-1103-809.jpg

For Me

You will love the way
I think about you

For Me
You are that wight
At the time of blight
Who thinks unique
Apply the new technique

Who will never let me afraid
From the sharpness of blade

For Me
You are that jewel
Which i will love to wear everyday
You are that bell
Which will sound in my ear everyday

For Me
You are the glimpse of hope
In the full dark
You are that scope
Which i would never wanna lose

For Me
You are the incitement
You are the alignment
You are the enlightenment
You are the achievement

You are the inducement
Whom i love
For whom i live
There is no end of our love!

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Rafael David (1) (@RafRivaaas) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

no longer capitalizing capital
now i free enough to be bold
unconditioned state of mind
yet i could still be cold
system set up a funny deal
sell your soul or fold
but i got an ace up my sleeve
this what life taught me
the state of the only mind is the only one truly free
mind and body united in perfect harmony
and so i two step with life
high step low step
never run like qb spike

more of a rap, but what do you guys think. its flow structure is off to me but all i hope is that the entendres are clear

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

chemical react as the holy bridge activates, jump ship and captivate. salivate at the sight of infinity. don’t cringe at the feeling of an ET presence affinity. we are carbon based living tree’s. unhinged at the beat, connected through all that we see.

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

emotion’s hidden deep away.. eyes red from pain…~killer’s. repressed narcotic refills. garden of eden teaches: slither through life like a genius. fruitful need here. tool’s for universal settlement are illegal. don’t let anyone affect your business people; god is unbeatable.

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Rafael David (1) (@RafRivaaas) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

empty 3rd eyes like dry iphones keeps the messages minimal
the hidden talents are like her tweets, subliminal
penny for your thoughts and you might just change, no liberal
literacy mastery is literaly there for me if the flow like the seas and grow op the seeds of my poetry
in other words to fly like birds i must juggle verbs spit hot turds before i fall up curt

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

hello infinity. oh my, how this dream represents divinity. cant unsee chains gone free. found demon’s shrieking inside me. pull out beat’s, tear evil out of we.

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

as we walk briskly through the insurrection of painting…… the sands of time swallows our minds faintly…. forgetfulness of all times cry’d… let soul reign king for emotional pride…..road to happiness is somewhat deprived…. no steps… teleport to the top or dwell in the depths.
piece this dream back together….flourish this land for ever…. manifest feather’s… fly with out tethers…. travel through alpha omega…. retain all treasure… artistic zephyr….clever pleasure goes unmeasured.

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

what i want i get.never forget.dream intellect. exempt from disrespect. eyes recollect what time misrepresents. rush n roulette, all my money on psychedelic architects; murderous expense. nevertheless don’t ever confess. repossess success. bridge oppressed.

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Matt (82) (@zentripper) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

The flow and ebb of waves and tide
Breathes life to the sand
Through the foam the fishes hide
Their life cannot be comprehend by man
Floating, swimming till they die
No thought of an ultimate plan.
On the beach the monkeys look to the sky
Searching for a guiding hand
They pray to gods but get no reply
Are they only a result of our pineal gland?
Does Poseidon speak to fish in dreams
Or is that just in the land of Aquaman?

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Matt (82) (@zentripper) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

No monsters under my bed
They exist only inside my head
No skeletons in my closet
The present moment is the only thing in which I deposit
Value, a tricky thing to place
Only worry about things if they’re in your face
No point to stress
As you can guess
Unless you’re at the gym lifting, bench press
But I digress

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Matt (82) (@zentripper) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

I like drugs
Drugs are nice
They make me feel good
About my life

When I’m sober the world is much too stressful
Hit that weed and my head gets less full
Just me in my universe
That’s enough words I think for one verse

Mushies make me feel so mushy inside
Buy the ticket, take the ride
And if the going gets rough, then you better be tough
You’re gonna get chewed up but you’ll come out alright
There’s no way you can afford to avoid this fight

Smoke more weed
It’s what I need
Make me trip harder
What the fuck rhymes with harder?
These drugs sure as hell don’t make you smarter
Just plays around with whatever is in your head to begin with
Hang on to that thought while I roll this next spliff

Hit the dank again
Thank the earth for this friend
Keeping it zen
Even then
The psychedelic feeling is so great
Makes it hard to concentrate…

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

we can fly no lie, acidify the mind. smash a vial to qualify in our time. solidify shine, verify my kind. satisfy stimuli, climb a mile high. jump off the cliff of time ~ graze the wind’s of divine align. warp into a new paradigm where love is not a crime.

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