[Official] Share and discuss your amateur poetry and stories.

 Anonymous (@)8 years, 11 months ago

I recently wanted to challenge myself, so I decided to try my hand at poetry. Since I’ve written a few poems, I’ve really wanted to get some kind of feedback, I’m not sure if they suck or not. So I’m creating this discussion in the hopes people will share their amateur poetry and stories. Only constructive criticisms guys, not everyone is literary genius. I’ll share a poem, if you want to here another of mine, just ask.

An Explorers Ode to Earth

As I see her from afar,
I obtain an inkling of who we are,
Here I sit in this frigid waste,
As if running from her warm embrace,
Just as children must move from home,
Here we travel deep into the unknown.

By- imhotep

June 2, 2012 at 3:41 pm
josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

swept into the wind’s of flowing kings.. emotions persevere through the labyrinth of feared judgement. those appearing to be free of error lack sincere. deep down heartfelt is truly prepared.

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Anonymous (47) (@) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

Remember your future
Forget your past
It was simply a lecture
Destiny, was not to forever last.
The very essence of your presence in time
Evolved under the sun of a hypocritical lie
The temple of truth
Made you feel absolute
The swamp where you stood
Proofed that you misunderstood
No matter the dimension
It simply was out of comprehension
Delicacy to the mind
Buried deep in a bee’s hive
Sweet like honey
You never realized that it tasted funny
No wings to fly away
You’re only choice was to pray
Dying of thirst to desperately understand
You drank from earth’s knowledge
Only to realize that you were now starved
The appetite of knowing, caused your soul to vanish
Now lost in the desert
Searching for water and land
You were left in regret
Abandon and forgotten, you were quickly being swallowed by quicksand
You screamed for help
Asking for a merciful hand
A silence was heard
It extended its arms to you, a pitiful man
You looked up and stared into its eyes
Falling deep into a state of terror shock
Feelings ran within, cold and hard as if they were made out of ice
Death stood there and simply mocked
Reviving that sense of being alive
For a short eternity
That, which you’ve been trying to find all your life
A sphere of bliss descended unto you, it was at last, serenity.

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

surface real through the love of earth. breathe in hurt…1. 2. 3… dream of a peaceful reality. we are the key. insert to see universal beauty.

fixate your heart on praying your part. dance in your moment’s to own a drop in the ocean. swerve on the wave of dream notion’s. practice hope binge. scope focusing.

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Anonymous (359) (@) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

hard knock, slam the bar
jingle in your pocket and
locket in the dash
seeing sprockets
and rocketing cash
blasted mashup
stand up splash
no more fascist crash
climb up and outta the past
no sash necessary
legend of the mass
stirring up classes
and blowing stained glass
tombs claim the brash
but not the dashing
bit more rehash and im onto passion

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

midnight machine, how you feel is up to me.
meaningful mischief is all I be.

kill me deeply, slowly, sweetly. love me, keep me, but don’t trick me. treat me, beat me, feed me.
dream tendencies set the world free, breathe in beauty.
tunnel through the wave of the sea; conquer empathy.
absorb all light energy, breed random access memory.

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

you walk off good… feel your growing pain yearn.
teach your self; how to earn.
increase concern; of what you learn.
rock and roll; up a blunt for sure.
peaceful lesson’s; permed.
feel the burn, breathe in it’s your turn.
hold it like this for certain. unravel hidden purpose.

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

karma categories control felt luminescence of deep space question’s. feel endless worries warp speed as consciousness glide’s on tryptamine dreams. unleash true being, caged dragon with electric wings. vibrate to the beat with-in.

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idontunderstand (9) (@Idontunderstand) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

I’ve just started writing poetry again. This is one of the lighthearted ones…enjoy!

(I don’t even like) Raspberry Cheesecake

What would happen if you ate Raspberry Cheesecake every day?
You would no longer love it as much as you once did.
And you’d get fat.
But if there was no more Raspberry Cheesecake, soon enough you’d want it again.
I’m fed up of being fed Raspberry Cheesecake so willy-nilly.
Deny me, for once.
Just
For
One
Slow-moving,
clock-ticking moment…

And maybe, just maybe, I’ll crave Raspberry Cheese cake again.

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

you don’t want me anyway,
(spirituality in its hay day)
physically doomed fate; touche. ur fucking crazy.
move to the beat and get shwayze.
fake shit doesn’t phase me.
cop an eighth and get hazy.
weed doesn’t betray me.
hater’s gonna hate see….
love is what makes me.

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

sound juggling in the ministry of found brethren.
rock heavy something, learn no fronting.
bunt negative fussing, bluntly trusting nothing in the burn of independent money.
witch honey, lightning struck me.
crunched incoming judgement of just lucky.
spirit of bliss crony, i will intelligently hiss phony.
reap all benefits, god the witness.
credible the business, creator of the sickness.
conscious ridden, bitch get em..
increase all time low rhythm.
go with the flow; risking.
unveil hidden zone that is missing.
gaze upon the unknown through this mission.
tsk tsk we are just listening, its how we fit in living life existing.

consistent decisions of malicious figures manifest fictitious gears to seek a world more then they came for.
aim for your core, dance on the floor to care; amore.
focus and soar amidst the roar, breathing becomes no more.
a door will open, adore all that is lore.

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

finding the sweet spot between Who gives a FUCK and Pure intelligence. for some reason i can find peace cheeching creating artistic statements. pick a lane, guess today. attain your brain, grow from pain. create loving cranes, drag and drop game. art enriches us in this reign. thy rod, thy staff connect’s real membrane.
gangster my chemistry be mane. bass face ordained to entertain. humane hydroplane is possible domain. retrain what we explain that remain’s and how to maintain the vain.

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Anonymous (0) (@) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

It Would be the Best Life to Live

If we could live the lives our children live,
It would be the best life to live.
For we impart on our children
What we desired in our heart.
If we could live their lives,
We would be on cloud 9
Because our parents involved us
In things they wished they could do as a kid.
They think that what our happiness depends on
Is doing the things they never did.
Having the things they never had.
But not often enough
Do they stop to ask
“What do you want?”
“What do you like?”
No.
It is “What do I want?”
And “What do I like?”
“What do I want to do”
With this life I have brought forth
And it is not that it’s bad that our parents
Want what is best for us.
Because I truly believe most do.
But it is more to do with the fact
That maybe as I grow up,
I don’t want to play that sport.
Or, I don’t want to wear my hair that way.
Or, I want to paint my nails black.
And I want you to be okay with it.
And so this endless cycle of imparting on your children
What you wish you could have done
Continues with them
Telling their children what to do and what not to do
Based on what they did or didn’t get to do.
So, if we could live the life our children live
It would be the greatest life to live,
But, if we let our children live
The greatest life for them to live,
Then every child would get to live the life
They view as the perfect life to live,
And every adult would not have to live
The perfect life
Through the lives of their children.

This is one of my recent more philosophical poems… I post to Hello poetry so if you would like to see much more visit http://hellopoetry.com/-jojo/

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Jojo (0) (@Jojo2) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

This is one of my recent more philosophical poems. To see much more of my work visit http://hellopoetry.com/-jojo/

It Would be the Best Life to Live

If we could live the lives our children live,
It would be the best life to live.
For we impart on our children
What we desired in our heart.
If we could live their lives,
We would be on cloud 9
Because our parents involved us
In things they wished they could do as a kid.
They think that what our happiness depends on
Is doing the things they never did.
Having the things they never had.
But not often enough
Do they stop to ask
“What do you want?”
“What do you like?”
No.
It is “What do I want?”
And “What do I like?”
“What do I want to do”
With this life I have brought forth
And it is not that it’s bad that our parents
Want what is best for us.
Because I truly believe most do.
But it is more to do with the fact
That maybe as I grow up,
I don’t want to play that sport.
Or, I don’t want to wear my hair that way.
Or, I want to paint my nails black.
And I want you to be okay with it.
And so this endless cycle of imparting on your children
What you wish you could have done
Continues with them
Telling their children what to do and what not to do
Based on what they did or didn’t get to do.
So, if we could live the life our children live
It would be the greatest life to live,
But, if we let our children live
The greatest life for them to live,
Then every child would get to live the life
They view as the perfect life to live,
And every adult would not have to live
The perfect life
Through the lives of their children.

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

welcome to the underworld where knowledge is free to the uncontrolled. roll dice for the throne. approach phantom geist’s with caution, they fought the fight and lost grand. no saying what someone can, that did, repeated, accepted, defeated and still bob’s to the beat saying I’m ME bitch.

heated repercussions guide experimental function to unfold with soul’s in passionate choke holds of factual slum goal’s. hades watches the show. siphon’s in those in which he will not let flow to the next experience zone.

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

alchemical propagation faces cosmic vibrating nation.
mind state elevation station’s.
we on; vacation.
surfing the wave’s; of satin.
morning star based king.
harbinger of god’s sake binge.
intrinsic flow harvesting glow; wing’s.
levitate focusing, abstract motions.
drink this potion, vibe west coasting.
oiled up paper posting, vaporized doses loaded.
lavender kush has spoken.

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Alexiel (5) (@mazquerade) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

Never before have I experienced
The kind of see-saw, stomach-in-the-air gymnast flips and pirhouettes
That made the sponge squeeze and leak nectar from my eyes that evening.
A white-hot, invisible thread,
Reminiscent of London subway trains and sunny Sunday nostalgia,
Like a tightrope, suspended above the impressionable and unknowing masses.
I wanted to walk it.
It was all-enveloping,
Weaving in and out, fluorescent patchwork and pin pricks from every direction,
Bittersweet on steroids
Excitement on stilts
Elixir for my ears, holy chimes in thirds,
The main character a sunset, reflecting off and rolling down my cheeks
Hysteria a joyous laugh in the front seat.

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Mastholius (1) (@Mastholius) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

@patience, Nice work,gave me the chills,whew.

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CeresZal (3) (@cereszal) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

Been awhile since i was here. Might as well just post something for no reason.
Here’s a short story that happened as a dream.

There was a girl who could turn into a butterfly, but no one would believe her. Her body and hands ache from turning into a butterfly. When she is a butterfly, she is free, beautiful, and happy. She was brought to a home where they tried to restrict her from turning into a butterfly. She was sad and hurt that she is being forbidden to be what she is supposed to be. She cried and cried. Every time she tried to turn into a butterfly, she was stopped from doing so. Eventually, it took her and she started to be very depressed and sad. She cried every day and had to stop herself from trying to turn into a butterfly. It got so bad that she couldn’t cry anymore. Her heart started to die and she found herself not caring about the world anymore. His heart started to turn to stone slowly and she found that she was turning into stone instead. Her body started to become hard and she slowly morphed into a stone. Someone saw that she was turning into stone. That person knew a boy who was like her before but he had already turned into a stone. The person puts the girl next to the boy and explained his condition. He was already a stone in a shape of a boy. She saw him and understood that she was not alone, the boy was like her and was hurt as well. He had given up hope and turned into a stone completely and she saw that it was happening to her. She cried and started to return to a human slowly. Then she kissed the boy and cried. The boy started to wake from his slumber and his body soften, he started to return to a human. He fluttered his eyes open and saw that she was kissing him, he was shocked and she stopped with an apologetic but sad look on her face. She told him she was sorry but he said it was all right. He was still shocked with why would someone want to kiss him or even care of him. No one did. She said it was the same for her as well, but when she saw him, she saw that she was not alone and she wanted the boy to know that she was like him as well, before she turned into stone. She didn’t know he would return back as a boy. He said it was all right and he was thankful of her for returning him back but he thought he was forgotten. Just cast off as a rock into the ocean. She said that he wasn’t forgotten. She would have been with him even though he was a rock. He smiled, knowing that someone had loved him for once in his life. He took her and hugged her and said thank you. She cried and said it was nothing. Then he looked at her and kissed her. They both cried in embrace. The person disappeared.

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Anonymous (9) (@) 7 years, 9 months ago ago

Does fanfiction count? The link is in my profile.

I guess I could bring out some of my old poems and short stories. They’re in notebooks…somewhere in storage.

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 8 months ago ago

trapped with-in pattern’s, muscle memory is all that move’s matter.
practice the latter, habitually flatter.
orbit around the sun and gather.
vibrations to move harmonic music made from our beautiful race’s evolutionary pace.
wake up and join the bake, up goes our taste.
lets not pretend for god’s sake, we are here for a crazed loving undertake.
recalibrate our soul’s in the making of an unconsciously begun vacation painstakingly shaken through con~based nation’s.
dedicated to cultivate eradication of what ever they please.
mindfully captivated are controlled with ease.
crystallized creations illuminate devotee’s.
appease our disease, masterpiece our belief’s.
perceive what we need, oxytocin release.

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Rafael David (1) (@RafRivaaas) 7 years, 8 months ago ago

what does it mean to adapt?
does it always mean changing the way we act ?
but what if its our thoughts that dont have it together?
do we have to pretend we’re suddenly clever?
it could be talking to a crush named abigail
or fighting a man to whom your comparison pales
the senario is the same adapt or fail
die in a storm or adjust your sails
or does it mean take life as it goes?
be aware of other perspectives and go with the flow
the answer is simple, nobody knows
just do what you belive is best and enjoy the show

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 8 months ago ago

bass therapy care’s for prosperity. allows to see what is inside the beating drum. soul leaking so we can overcome strumming into harmony all that is one.
dive in geeked. sheet candy has me peaked. peace is how i creep. increase the battlefield of star seed’s. anxiety blown out by kitty treats. wobble like I just drank a fifth of bittersweet. sweep my self off my feet. damage my defences, decipher the message. get up again. step by step experience the journey with in. thought based land throw’s us for a fibbonaci spin.

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Anonymous (47) (@) 7 years, 8 months ago ago

Do you know who I am?

I flow better than rhymes
Cruising through everyone’s mind
The eyes can’t see me
I’m an invisible creed
That no one ever believes
But sooner or later they all perceive
And come to accept that I will always be part of their beliefs
With them even when they sleep
Wake up and feel my presence
Acknowledge my existence
Been here longer than any known history
Some consider me a mystery
That not even mathematicians can solve
I’m something that just can’t be dissolved
Came to be, for myself by everything to be absorbed
But never by anything, to be disturbed
I witnessed the beginning that lead to the whole creation
Played a major part of the evolution
From those silent pitch dark days
To today’s loud bright sun rays
I took them on a quest
That they never put in a request
Do you know who i am?
Can you take a guess?
I’m in every land, call me a lost lamb
That’s different than the rest, laying in my own nest
Can be found everywhere
Even in the abyss, I’m there
You could say that i’m related to the atom
We reside in the same kingdom
Not ruled by any king or queen though
We are the true meaning of freedom
I fly without the need of wings
I survive without having anything to eat
I’m the ever living thing
Right there just whispering
To the day and nights wind
Close your lips and listen
To that sound that’s hissing
From underneath the ocean
To the far regions of space where there is no motion
Stars can’t obstruct me
Even if they wished that upon me
I am the unknown continuum
That will reside throughout every millennium
I will never let you out of my sight
You can’t hide nor run from me
Even if going at the speed of light
I will always be there at your feet
Now stand still for a moment
And feel my godly omen.

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sasha audrey (14) (@serenehumanbean) 7 years, 8 months ago ago

Posted this as it’s own thread, without realizing the poetic goodness of this grandfather thread right here .. Let me know what you think, or get out of this… Let me know if you simply resonate with this :)

A subtle craving surfaces
Your image flashes before my eyes
A distant melody fades
Into the ether and then dies

Your smile kept me warm
But your words had a way
Of cooling my heart
And keeping my feelings at bay

Nothing more than a gentle touch
Imbued with aggressive affection
Can’t help but constantly feel like
It’s headed in the wrong direction

Silent battles of the heart
Raise calamity in my mind
A sword has been drawn
Severing the ties that bind

Unstable chemistry
A foundation based on reactions
A connection built with trust and love
But robbed of all its passion

Your body joins mine
Right between my thighs
My legs shiver with delight
While your body tells me lies

You want my heart without my soul
Dig into my mind but not too deep
You can only swim in the shallow end
Where our egos seem to sleep

You’ll need to dive completely in
In order to satiate
The need I have hidden deep inside
The need to elevate

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Matt (0) (@maxis) 7 years, 8 months ago ago

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I suck at poems,
Nice tits.

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