Man is a social animal so he keeps company of like minded people.But nowadays with so much fake displays and networking sites,personal relationships have graduated into taking pictures and posting on social networking sites like Facebook, and others.Infact,if i talk of my friends,we meet once in a while over a dinner or a cup of coffee just to take pictures and posting on FB for others to see and feel jealous that we guys catch up often and seem very happy whereas the truth is different.We seem distant.We cant be informal for the fear of being targetted upon.We cant feel the way we used to feel when we had no more pictures to take upon.Originality has taken a backseat.,all people do nowadays is FAKE it…almost always.My question is:If you dont feel the need to be a part of this nature of herd,can you be different and mind your own business without being targetted upon and called a freak?People think that if you dont mix up with others,you are insensitive or have a communication problem whereas the truth is different.You dont want to mix coz you dont want to be a part of the FAKE gang.Tell me the right way to draw a line between the two and how to turn an event politely down keepint your head high and feeling good of not supporting artificial emotions just for the sake of it.
It can be hard to see if someone’s being fake but I find if you truly be yourself around them they will take off their mask, even for a moment, and show you their true self. It’s empowering to believe we are all equal, and nobody has any more say than anyone in this world, we rely on each other. So I’m gonna just keep doing my thing and the “fake” people will probably end up somewhere they dont want to be and thus have to be their true self in order for their life to work as it should.
I’ve been fake with people and I’m sure you’re guilty of the same, we aren’t as different as we all think, so it’s okay to forgive people for not being real with you. Compassion gets you far in life. The mentality you seem to have is they are different but you’re just driving yourself further from them. Stay true to yourself and the right ones will come along.
I think that online ‘socalizing’ emphasizes what was really there… so whoever had ‘tendency’ for being fake, now is that way in a more accentuaded manner. Maybe it sounds a bit extreme, and maybe I’m wrong.
Anyway, I consider myself lucky; I can hang out with my friends and spend quality time without them checking their smartphones every 5 minutes. :) Which is truly a blessing, as it drives me insane, and I have colleagues at college who have their phones stuck to their hands during class and whatnot. Sooo, what I want to say is: have hope! There are people who aren’t like this and who appreciate honesty and authenticity, and real, valuable interraction. :) Maybe they aren’t that easy to find… but maybe placing yourself in the right context, one that attracts such people, is the place to start? (I don’t know, from spending time at the library to concerts to whatever activities you enjoy, that might attract like-minded people. As an example, nowaydays there is this increasing succes of modern boardgames :D in my country / hometown there are a lot of coffee shops / tea shops / bars that organise boardgame events and you can go play with strangers and meet awesome people :) dunno, it’s just an example, I’m sure there are a lot of activities out there and that you can resonate with some of them)
Prove that man is a social animal. It’s definitely a daring animal and less adaptable animal, but being social doesn’t come naturally for the sake of being social. With so much distracting attention-seeking crap the last thing I need is getting social with it to keep out of focus. Makes exactly zero sense to be. I need to shut the world off to get creative. No one else holds my ability to concentrate. People say “people are social creatures” like it’s the same as “monkeys are pooping creatures”. Like I was happy to go to school at 5? No, I wasn’t. It was boring and I escaped twice. Fuck-mothering vampires and shit.
open your heart up to people who can look into your eyes. worlds of unseen love and opening can be found. if you open yourself everyday just once to someone, a stranger say, perhaps a fat person who is never loved. smile at someone you dont know. someone who looks lonely or forlorn… and open your heart up to them, if only for a shadow of an instant. that is worth all the FAKE sociallizing you are talking about…LOVE is the way to proceed !~~
Everyone has their quirks, and it is difference that brings something to the table, if we are all the same we all become redundant. I keep in mind that no matter how off you think others are it shouldn’t be a case of judging them on that, judgment lays best in recognising the ability of others to love, care, be considerate, mostly people only fail in this assessment only when they do not realise it, but mostly people are inclined to belong so anything that ruins that for them is a product of how they read into the situation.
I say share your strengths, it is what you bring to the table and the reluctance to share makes you redundant, but also be willing to accept the strengths of others to help you grow, refusing their help makes them redundant.
@trek79, happy to see you are still around ray… it is true we shouldn’t judge people on face value based on their outer appearances. if we go to a party perhaps we can engage in a deep conversation with someone we thought was Fake. best is to stay open and not fall into judgmental functioning as it can be actually just a excuse for our vulnerability and insecurity.