Societal/Familial Rejection and Changing the Common Stigma on Psychedelics

 PsychedelicFox (@kenny95)5 years, 5 months ago

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Hello.
I smile welcomingly to those who have read the title and felt like they could
relate to me in someway.<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>

First
of all, you have never met me however reading this text is the ‘meeting process’
since I have written every single word in a straightforward/honest mindset and
heart.<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>

Secondly,
the paragraphs of my writing are roughly stated here. (I won’t plan it
any further than this, I want this to be a medium of free flow of thoughts and
feelings)<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>

1-a
brief history and results of the behaviors of a person with undiagnosed case of
severe depression and probably paranoia (never been to clinic or requested
mental help)<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>

2-a
progressive process of self heal which McKenna calls “becoming a healed madman”
and realizing that there is no need in having negative emotions  (due to various causes, not just psychedelics)<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>

3-a
severe case of rejection (both mentally and physically) from the extended-family, not even
just the core-family. (which happened 3 days ago when I finally told them about
my guiding experience in a respectful manner just as I did here).<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>4-the process of changing the common stigma on psychedelics (which I wholeheartedly hope to be a part of)
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>

Finally,
and most importantly, I want all of you to know that this is not a story about
just me. Many others probably had similar cases of enlightment, peace, rejection and maybe
other types of obstacles on their paths. Stay strong, let us have a strong effect
on changing the common view on psychedelics by showing others that these
substances have the potential for a BEAUTIFUL world when experienced in a
spiritual way.<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>

<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>(PS:
This is my first ever post on the internet which is not-just-two-words-long. Also
here’s a personal info, I love both listening to and creating music. Right now,
I’m listening to ShamRain. These being said, let us explore the mental landscape
of a person who, in essence, is trying to find the true path for a peaceful life).

<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>It
all starts with the childhood, as psychology also states. As I said I will be honest
about everything; the childhood I experienced was not the “worst”. I was born
in a family with medium/rich income where my parents (no brothers/sisters) constantly
argued (mentally and physically). My mother also had this undiagnosed case of extreme
(probably acuter than mine) depression and schizophrenia as well. I will not
be able to tell the illness exactly because I focus on “behaviors and outcomes” rather than
“terminology”. Thus, I believe that I inherited the same behavioral
pattern probably both with genes and cognitive learning process, I’m not an
expert on this topic, I’m just a psychology students who devoted his life to
helping others with the help of psychology and experiences from psychedelics.
So back to topic, there were always fights going in my family. My mother and
father constantly attacked each other (more in a mental sense, but yes sometimes
physical as well), and some of the time this anger was directed towards me as
well. I won’t go into more details from here because in my case, the outcome is
more important than the cause. So, the result of this whole childhood was
nearly 12 years of hatred directed towards my own self and others around me. (I’m
inquiring approximately about ages between 7-19). On the other hand, I developed a self
created model of sociopathy to deny my own feelings and not experience the pain
anymore. In conclusion, when I look to those years of my life (I’m 21 right now
and for nearly 1,5 years I have been living in a state of compassion for
everyone) all I see is that I have been living in a “mist”, everything was
covered with sadness resulting in a chronic state which made me “feel at home” while crying and being depressed.
Moreover, I used to love mentally conquering other people, even if this meant
emotionally hurting them. I hated doing this but I felt like I had to because
there was no other way for me (which there was, but I couldn’t see it at the
time). It was just like the lyrics of a song,
“break hearts just to feed the anger, the anger that used to be love”. And in my
case, I had a somewhat happy childhood but the events I experienced started mentally destroying me
including all that happened in my family and my friend environment. A high school life where
everyone’s value was based on the ego they exerted on others (I was in a
private high school, which in my country only the rich
kids can go, thus an atmosphere of gaining respect according to your “financial showoff” was created for me). So, (I’m not judging anyone here), most of my friends were the
catalyst for the hatred from my childhood turning into a massive ego that hurts
others to gain value. I know that being in a hateful environment is not an
excuse for hurting others but imagine you get hurt so badly (physically and
mentally) around the age of 10 to 15, it all misdirects you from the essence of life
which is love and it’s not easy for a “kid” to cope with these hurtful emotions,
for me it wasn’t at that time. These being said, I want to share with you how I
come to realize that ego is not your best friend.<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>It
is a common known sentence, “Respect and love others”, however there is a
massive difference between knowing the path and walking the path. Here, let me
explain with a concrete example. Nearly all people who inflict self-harm know
that this type of behavior does not contribute to the solution for them, however most of them (by the way, I used
to be one. I don’t judge people I’m just trying to tell a point) do not give up
due to a reason which I believe relates to the “difference between knowing something
and truly understanding it”. So here’s my further argument: In my case, like everyone
else, I always knew that respect and love is essential for human interactions,
however I really never applied it because this type of “good behavior”
contradicted with my strong sense of ego feeding from the pain of the past. Besides, I was not ready to be in a state of no-ego in a negative environment at time. It was
only during my psychedelic trips (LDS, mushrooms, truffles) I truly internalized
that there is no reason for people to hurt each other. There is a really good
quote from a book on Buddhism I read which says “If an European tourist came to
India for just a week and created trouble wherever he or she went, that would
be pointless and foolish”. This is the abstraction one of the mind-blowing
thoughts I experienced in one of my trips: Why cause pain and suffering for
others when you have the ability to create an environment which is based on
love and respect. I am not writing this only because it “sounds logical”, but mainly I have this feeling
stored in all my cells.

<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>Moreover,
in my trips (which I experienced with my closest friend who is even more than a
blood bond brother to me) I came to the realization that misery, hate and other
negative emotions only brought destruction. Unfortunately they were the basis
for my created self at the time. Thus with a strong effort and exerted energy I
WILLINGLY GAVE UP all these negative emotions in my second LSD trip (125µg). Those of you who
have tried psychedelic substances in a spiritual way can really relate to me on
this specific topic and truly feel/understand the experience of my ego-death,
not just ego-loss in my case, but the complete eradication of the negative ego. As
I told in the beginning I consider myself a “healed madman” (exact words of
McKenna), I have destroyed my inner demons (sounds cliché? Well you cannot
explain every concept related to mind with a simple word). Moreover, this
eradication of the negative ego was a process of understanding my self rather
than fighting it. I would like to say, do not fight with evil, show it that
being evil is unnecessary and only causes suffering and show the evil true way.
Well, this was a complicated concept which is hard for me explain, but I want
to make sure I share this revelation. In other words, to change the evil into
good do not “attack” evil, just “feel” that evil is your creation and
unnecessary at the same time. The concept of “understanding evil” is essential
for changing it into good. Thus, this comes to my essential point of showing UNCONDITIONED
respect and love towards others. As a final word on this topic, LSD is not the only
thing that caused me to internalize this feeling, however it was the single
most important “catalyst”, without LSD it might have taken me years (full of
suffering for sure) or maybe even forever to get this revelation. So I am truly
PROUD, PROUD and PROUD to use psychedelics in
a spiritual way and in the end:

<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>1-realize
that negative emotions and hurting others is unnecessary

<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>2-end
the suffering that has been going on inside and around me for years which
seemed like decades

<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>3-add
so much value and positivity to all my interactions

<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>On
the other hand, there are many other benefits I gained and this whole thing you
read was like the 1/100 of all my experience. As you know, it is not really easy
to tell everything in words and they are definitely not enough for this kind of
spiritual experience. Moreover, thank you for reading it this far. This is not
just a “thank you” in a casual way but I’m truly thanking you. Well, that being
said, let me proceed to my last and main topic of rejection due to usage of these
substances and changing the common view on psychedelic substances.

<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>Everything
you read until here was what I shared with my own family. I discussed these in
a respectful manner however in the end I was labeled as a “drug addict” (own
words of my family, not mine), moreover I was told “I should be institutionalized”
(sorry to say but still not my words) and many other labels that truly
depressed me for the first time since a year and half. (These all happened 3 days ago and I decided to change this negativity into positivity = creating an effect
for the change of psychedelic stigma) Back to the topic of rejection, I know
that feeling acutely now. To all those out there who experienced the same labels, please
know that I want you to stay strong. We, I emphasize WE, can show the potential
of these wrongly labeled substances. My experience with the family is only a singular negative, there are
many countless other people who have told me that “they enjoy being around me”
(I have never heard this in my life before until recent years). Also I have
heard many times that I give unconditioned positive energy and talking with me
is different. (All derived from what my friends told me, remember, no ego
involved). As you can see, the event of rejection is only a small discouraging factor among all the encouraging ones. Remember, focus on people who are open minded, not the ones who label everything without trying to understand. Besides, labeling is not a effective way of communication in the first place.
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>So dear person who is reading this, let US, TOGETHER change the view
on psychedelic substances. Do not be discouraged by obstacles. Right now, my
whole family is denying me but it’s OK. I mean, it’s their opinion and I’m not
even bitter at this situation. It is OK, do not be discouraged since we are the
stepping stones for the evolution of the collective consciousness. Moreover, one day the view on psychedelics will be completely changed and WE will be the cause of this change, WE will be the cause for positivity. Thus, as
my final words, I want to humbly state that I believe we must our mind for
creating a positive environment both inside and around us.

<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph”>Here
I want to, first of all, thank you dear reader for going through the journey written
here whether you agree or disagree with me, wholeheartedly thank you. Secondly,
I want to thank my closest friend for helping me realize the true way and in a
way, awakening me from the suffering.

December 29, 2015 at 9:24 am
Peter (116) (@Gismo) 5 years, 5 months ago ago

Great to hear that you’ve come out strong from all that turmoil in your early life, hopefully things like psychedelics can become a more inherent natural use to humanity in the future, it seems to be progressing that way :-)

And with regards to your family, let them be, we don’t choose family but we choose where to go and who to be with, prove them wrong by being a light, inspirational and happily living human being ;-)

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Lexar (8) (@Lexar-Flash) 5 years, 5 months ago ago

Inspirational, best of luck in your quest, may you find good fortune and contentment

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