I’m sure this topic has probably come up on here more than once in various forms but I want to ask, do you guys have a sort of “default” mood or disposition?
Mine seems to vary so much not only from day to day, but hour to hour. I get really happy for no apparent reason and then gradually I start feeling really blah, also for no apparent reason. I have a variety of interests and passions, I meditate(just saying that before it gets suggested), get a fair amount of exercise in, eat well and stuff, which I know are all factors in mood and disposition… but I can never seem to commit to anything because I will be super excited about an idea and lose interest, sometimes within a few hours, sometimes a few days. I even hesitate to invite friends over because it will sound like an amazing idea at 4pm and by the time 7pm rolls around I wish that I wouldn’t have. I’ve tried to discern a pattern or causes for this, but can’t really seem to figure it out.
Does anyone else experience this? Is this “normal”?(by this I mean common). It makes it really difficult to function normally at work or have a social life or even progress in my hobbies, also it makes it difficult if not impossible to plan for the future.
I have abused a lot of drugs in my past, maybe this is the cause?
If you also experience this, do you force yourself to be consistent with things anyway or do you just accept your ups and downs? I could probably be diagnosed with some disorder if I were to want to get checked out, but I don’t. How would you combat this or work with it?
@tangledupinplaid21, It’s normal only because people are trapped inside their heads, and that’s normal. Sounds like you’re just overthinking the future and spending too much time either there or in the past. Next time you start thinking excessively, simply notice how you are ‘there’ and not ‘here’. Once you bring yourself, slowly, back to here, peace will be found. It’s your job to stay here. :)
What’s your meditation like? To tell you the truth I hate stable moods.
It don’t want to be in one boring mood for too long, because I won’t be creative. Not being creative means being bored and I why the hell would I do that to myself? If I can’t control my moods, I have to really get my shit together by embracing myself and start from there. If I’m feeling content with hatred I try to jump over that feeling.
It’s just taking solace in the freedom of making a decision. If I fear I’m going crazy, or I’m “faking it to make it”, I remind myself I’m already crazy, it’s not such a big deal. I’m making an effort.
If someone asks me how I’m feeling I don’t have to answer. I’ll be feeling that someone asked me how I’m feeling. I might be feeling variably purposeful and I won’t be lying.
Also, if you haven’t noticed with certainty yet, if you make someone feel a particular way, by sharing how you are genuinely feeling, it gets to come back to you, because in a way, sharing how you feel is what you taught someone else about genuinity. (This is not a real word? I don’t give a fuck.) If you tend to yourself and think and talk about what you love – you’ll connect.
It’s all about creativity. When I don’t feel like composing music at all, I start composing music against all odds, then I follow the inertia and don’t want to stop. Then I have to think about not overdoing it. The appetite comes with eating so I just might stay hungry.
Speaking of moods, do you know what’s most funny? Everything you don’t want to happen in your life in exaggerated proportions.
Also, sing. When I was in high school and felt stressed I sang my favorite song really quiet under my nose, sometimes just by moving my lips whilst it’s playing in my head. To just focus and keep relaxed. Sometimes I do that when I’m taking a walk and my thought process flows smoothly.
Metaphorically, the garden of your mind needs all barren plants to be removed. And you can’t really trick it that you’re tending it, in needs you to water it after you fertilize it, no matter the quality of the fertilizer. O_O Except on full moon when zombies come and eat your plants.
@tangledupinplaid21, What’s a “default” mood or disposition?
I’m just kidding (just being a dick).
Who cares what mood you’re in, though, really?
You must find something to care about, and care about it.
You’ll be driven to whatever moods you must be in.
@tangledupinplaid21, In my opinion emotion itself isn’t stable.
I tried meditation for awhile but eventually realized that I needed to focus on meditation more when I was stressed out than when I felt I wanted to meditate (although I do both).
For example, when I am stressed out at work I meditate for two minutes. When I feel anxious or upset I meditate for two minutes. When I am angry I meditate for two minutes. I allow myself a break from the situation to consider my feelings and try and move past them. Emotions are volatile but they can be calmed.
I actually just got a tattoo for this reason. It says “and for that one moment, everything was perfect.” When I went through some life changes and my meditation was no longer helping as much I stumbled across this phrase and clung to it. It became my mantra.
Sometimes it also helps to step back and realize that many emotions are societal constructions and can be controlled. No emotion is permanent, and many times you can cause yourself to feel emotions, so try and focus on feeling happy/creative/positive when you can. For example to relieve stress I dance in elevators. I take the stairs 9 flights up three times a day, and will take them in any situation 20 flights or under. When I get to the top I have a “victory dance” to celebrate (it’s not that big of an accomplishment, but I love it). On long runs I sprint the last few miles and run the last half mile backwards. When I walk I look at the sky as much as possible. When I am sad I listen to happy music. I sing as loudly as I can in stairwells or elevators. I concentrate on doing things that exhilarate or excite me as much as possible to keep me happy.
So far it has been extremely efficient and helpful. It has made my life much more enjoyable and fascinating.
Don’t force yourself into the idea that you could be “diagnosed with a disorder” because in modern society anyone could be. Focus on bringing yourself peace and happiness and removing yourself from the misery of the world and you will be fine.
I’ve recently began pretending that I am an observer in my own life (I’ve found inebriation to make this idea much more entertaining). I enjoy removing myself emotionally from a situation and studying the behaviors of those around me. It’s interesting to see how much misery we bring upon ourselves (myself included, though much less than before). Try not to focus on that.
@tangledupinplaid21, Fuck that bullshit, Life is a process with no relevant end. All you can do is enjoy the experience as it comes, the more feelings you express the more life you get to live. Don’t worry about living in a stable state, what is being stable but an illusion you have made up in your head?
Also im starting to get a bit sick of this philosophy bullshit, its no better then any other shit that people consume there life with. Weather it is so complex that only a few people can fathom it or simple enough it can be spread to the masses. Like this Russell brand shit people are going gaga over as if its a new revolution. what does it fucken matter. End of the day it is no solution the real problem that everyone of us theorizes over. Why do people listen to each other? is it to find comfort in the mystery? No one has a clue. Its funny to think that everyone has there own idea on life and people give up there right to think for themselves out of share frustration of uncertainty. So they just end up falling into someone else’s bullshit believe so they can sleep sound at night.
You guys don’t have to worry god will sort it out
@beyond, my meditation is difficult. I find it almost impossible to separate from my thoughts lately. I get bored quickly. Also I do sing but lately haven’t felt like it.
@optimystic, I do find things to care about… and then lose interest within a week. This has happened pretty much without fail, no matter how excited/inspired/into the idea I am.
@vivaciouslyv, I love the elevator thing, I have one at my work but it’s only 3 flights… I will probably steal that idea :) and I also like the idea of removing myself from situations and observing. I’ve done that before, but I’m really in my head lately.
@tatler, Being stable is being able to function normally and accomplish goals. Yes, it is just an abstract idea with no objective definition, but certain aspects of life are difficult when I cannot maintain interest in new things or commit to simple plans. And yes I think people adopt others’ points of view to find comfort. Thank you for liking my art :)
@tangledupinplaid21, I see what you mean and how it can get frustrating. This happens to me as well but on less frequent basis. For weeks I’ll be super happy, everything is great, I focus on all the good. Then one bad thing happens and snowballs into more and more shit. It usually takes me days to get out of this mode. My main goal is just to maximize the good and eliminate the bad. Master your mind, your thoughts, your ego. Doing this well eventually lead you to a state of bliss. That’s just my thoughts on it. Keep doing what you do and when you get down just decide hey I’m going to be happy. It may not work right away but in due time you will see a change.
What you have can be called ADHD or as I rather call it “genius” or “youth at heart”.
My solution was this: there are things I want in life, and things I don’t care about all that much. Eventually everything I learn (and perhaps will) come in handy in some future.
The things I want for my life the most are the ones I’m working on more, and the things that I want less, they fade in the air with every new hobby I find, only to come back in a week or two. Yet there is consistency. Your true goals may not be clear at the time but they are there. If you can try and ask yourself “What are my true goals, not just diversions but what I really strive for?” and pick that from the cloud of different activities you get in, then you made a great leap forward: you know what your goal is and that you’re moving towards it one way or another. There is also this quote, I don’t know by who “Whatever it is your goal, think about it often, that way every single thing you do will be done to achieve that”. And I still do the other stuff, knowing I’m learning and having fun and not really care if I drop it later because I know it’s not the main issue.
Also, I’m guessing the different stuff you do all have something in common, maybe they’re all creative, intellectual, or physical. You my friend, are multidisciplinary.
@tangledupinplaid21, I was really in my head for a long time. Taking a few moments to randomly meditate (focus on the problem then dismiss it) whenever I was too much in my head has REALLY helped that problem. I stop everything I am doing and devote myself entirely to it, but set a limit on how much time I can focus on it. It’s helped a lot.
@goglosh, They are all creative. But that term is very vague and general, and I don’t have a specific goal, just vague general ones. What do you do when you feel like you don’t care about things that you KNOW you really care about?
@goglosh, I think you may have a really good point on this though because I have found that even when I’m not working on my painting or musical abilities, when I return to those activities I still seem to have made some kind of progress and improved. Maybe my mind is always storing up information for it even when I’m not consciously concentrating on them.
@tangledupinplaid21, We bore at either end of the emotional spectrum, and we tire from the respective ascents and descents. I’m asking you, Ellie, if there’s anything wrong with that? So you’re not inspired as you’ve been before. So your mind has cluttered with uncategorized knowledge. So you’re more apathetic towards life. SO WHAT! Are you going to tell me that that all is not to be expected? Life is an uphill adventure. It is inevitable that you will doubt, and equally likely that you will, at times, loathe what progress you know you could and should be making. It happens to me all the fucking time. What I think would do you well is to attempt to diversify your routine. Go to be at a different time. Wake up at a different time. Read a new book. Listen to an obscure band. Research. DO ANYTHING. (I’m aware that you may already be doing many of these things.) The key, I think, is to stay active; be a relaxed creative. There is no winning in life, and no way to fall behind if the finish line is puposely obtainable. You’re probably not giving yourself as much credit as you deserve (and yes, you deserve credit). You’re a phenomenal artist, you’ve a beautiful mind, and a really wonderful way with your sharing of insights. I fucking love coming on here and reading what you have to say. The shit has made my day before, and I’m not kidding. I don’t know if these (true) compliments are what you need, though. I don’t think you need anything, truth be told. You’re wonderful as is, and probably being too hard on yourself. You don’t need to live grand to live well.
“Beginnings & Ends”
For whatever reason, I see only beginnings and ends. The middle of anything is foreign to me, save for my sandwiches, which I tend to construct myself. But in all seriousness, I don’t mesh with the middle. And I think that that’s because I’m lazy. (Yes, I have the balls to admit my own laziness.) I sit and think a lot, and I actually come up with some pretty novel ideas from time to time. I’d really love to make manifest most of these thoughts, but I have so much trouble doing so. And again, I blame laziness. But that is itself an excuse. And I recognize that. But what is there to do about it? I’ve been taught several lessons. I’ve been handed loads of advice I didn’t even ask for. It all continues to sit next to me like the books I’ve never opened. All of that shit worked for others, evidently. I don’t know what works for me, really. I’m not sure that I need to know. But a part of me kind of wants to know. But then again, what would the fun be in knowing what you need to do? That kind of information would take your mind off of the hardships of reality, and that’d be pretty cool I guess; it would be relieving, at least. But if life was about relief, I’d probably kill myself. I mean, wouldn’t that be the logical thing to do? But life itself has little to do with logic. Because it didn’t make any sense that you or I were born. I mean, the chance was pretty small that you were you. And I was I. And yet here we are. Pretty outstanding phenomenon it is.
I still don’t know what the middle consists of. Beginnings are easy. Beginnings are the thoughts you have and the feelings you express. Those happen naturally. You don’t have to ask to begin. And endings work similarly. You don’t ask to end as a person (sometimes you do). You don’t ask to end a job (sometimes you do). Most of the time, conclusions occur spontaneously. So you don’t really need to worry about them. They’ll happen when you’re not looking. So fear not. Your time will come before you even need to worry about being ready for it.
So what is the fucking middle—the grind that people talk about. What the fuck is it? It’s not a thought. It’s not a feeling. It’s not an ending. It’s in between. I don’t know if it’s recognizable. (I’m certainly having a difficult time recognizing what it is, if you can’t tell by now.) The most important question we can consider is whether or not the middle matters, because it stands as the only barrier from our finish. It’s the active ingredient in our life. We’re the recipe. (I don’t really know what that means, it just sounded nice.) I think that the majority of our lives are this middle. Until we gain consciousness, we are said to be starting. And until we lose consciousness, we have yet to finish. We don’t even have to acknowledge the middle. We are the fucking middle. Whatever we do is the middle. BUT WHAT IS IT FOR? I don’t know and I probably never will. I’m not sure that I have to know, though. I’m sure that I’m unsure that I have to know anything.
@tangledupinplaid21, “but I can never seem to commit to anything because I will be super excited about an idea and lose interest, sometimes within a few hours, sometimes a few days.”
-That’s a matter of habit. If you stick with things, they become exciting again after a while. Inspiration feeds on itself, actions become habits.
“Does anyone else experience this? Is this “normal”?”
-Lots of people do, it’s normal. It’s not really a problem either, it’s just a matter of preferences, definitions.
“I have abused a lot of drugs in my past, maybe this is the cause?”
-Nah, lots of peope have done that, you don’t see them all acting like this. I used to be a druggie, my mood is stable.
It’s not the drugs, it’s the tendency that leads to the drugs. The drugs are an effect, not a cause. A symptom.
If you stop looking for quick fixes, you will get over this issue. Because that’s all it really is, an addiction to a feeling/state/sensation.
If you go without the brief inspiration you get from these impulses for a while, you will not have this issue, and you’ll find a deeper and more lasting inspiration.
There’s always plenty of impulses that can give quick fixes, but in the end you always end up depraved of something else.
“If you also experience this, do you force yourself to be consistent with things anyway or do you just accept your ups and downs?”
-There’s no forcing it, suppression is bad. It’s more like surfing, (or wrestling, riding, yoyoing, whatever) gotta move with the momentum, be smooth.
“I could probably be diagnosed with some disorder if I were to want to get checked out, but I don’t.”
-Anyone would, especially young women. Doesn’t mean it’s true.
@tangledupinplaid21, Yeah creative is vague, even in math you can be creative (you HAVE to be creative actually). But there always seems to be some abstract idea that is involved in all your activities. I guess finding it out and working on that is the way to go. You make music and paint, I’ve always thought that all arts are somehow connected and that there is music in painting and colors in music (to make a specific example).
Also, hasn’t it happened to you that you drop an activity for a while, then you find something about that same thing that inspires you back to the old days of doing-whatever-it-was-you-were-doing and find new things about it? it’s actually quite common in every human activity that there are slow, repetitive times and exciting discovery times. You leap from one to another and it’s not necessarily a defect. Stop worrying about the future because whatever your future seems to be, it isn’t (as always, things never turn out as expected), and at the end you said it yourself: you are living healthy and active, and creative, and making progress. Therefore you really don’t have much to worry about. You can worry when you really drop everything and just surrender to apathy
@optimystic, :) Thank you so much. <333
@manimal, I love your ideas of "going without inspiration for a while". addiction to mind states, and quick fixes. These points make things click a lot for me.
@goglosh, I start getting really worried when I don't have the urge to pick up an instrument or paint brush but you've made me see that that doesn't have to be a bad or fearful thing.