Why does this exist?
I’ve been stuck in this zone of no-return more than once, and I’d like to know why some people do this. I’ve wondered about it more than once.
To echo the saying “strike while the iron is hot”, the friend zone is a sign that you did not act quickly enough on your emotions. It is important to outline your intentions early on, the biggest mistake guys make (especially in their youth) is by trying to become friends with girls and then expecting more. It just won’t happen.
Ah… the ol’ friend zone… I used to live there in my awkward teenage years- On the corner of Hope Avenue and Maybe Lane.
If you get stuck in the friend zone it’s not because you didn’t “strike while the iron was hot.” It’s because that girl isn’t into you but she thinks you’re cool and wants to be friends. If you get stuck in the friend zone and you don’t like her as a person, than don’t be friends with her. If you do like her as a person than remain friends but keep your eyes open for someone else… friends are hard to come by. Don’t try to be someone you’re not by playing coy games. That takes too much work and is fake. Instead, just be you. The right girl will come along. I’ve been reading your input on this site for months now and honestly, you’re effin’ rad. Just be you, sweets and it’ll all work out.
Hi Alex – I think Alicia makes a great point about the value of good friends. While ‘something more’ is tempting, sitting back and enjoying the friendship as it grows might lead you there anyhow. And if it doesn’t, you still have a marvelous friendship. No need for games – being yourself, your true self, is the best aphrodesiac.
I agree with Alicia in the sense that although playing games does interest a girl (not going to lie) your essentially just not being true to yourself and you will get the girl to fall in love with something other than yourself. If naturally you fall into the friend zone with someone then it just wasn’t meant to be. However, if you aren’t looking for anything serious then dabble into games and flirting…you’re young…play the game!
Personally, I don’t mind the friend zone. I often put myself there intentionally because I feel that sex can complicate things to the point of making them unappealing. Maybe I just prefer the chase to the catch.
Getting out of the friend zone is almost impossible, but preventing it is much easier. It’s all in the body language.
I know this sucks, but the friend zone is where boring guys stay. Some people think that’s because women love assholes. Truth is, it’s because we like someone with an edge, and a voice, and we want someone who keeps us on our toes a little. It’s the stuff that makes us horny for men, and keeps us horny.
ha zon maybe thats true all my friends are in the friend zone, and the few I really like and would have a relationship are not in that same zone. my college friends joke that I throw everyone in the “friend box” but I think it’s just cuz I know I wouldn’t be romantically attracted to them in any way…
ha ha shirley, yeah I think people like me (who spends time in the friend zone waaay too much as well) put relationships up on a pedestal, or… sex. You just gotta really separate your feelings from wanting to sleep with her and just have fun (like be yourself) and the “fun” stuff comes incidentally.
The separating yourself from the emotion is the hard part, this is extra hard for people like us who see value in every emotion.
Here is what I’ve discovered after my old best friend (aka chick I had the hotts for for 5 years) and I went our seperate ways. The key to a girls heart is to make them feel young again. Make fun of them, but in a playful way lighthearted way. Point out their insecurities but in a joking funny manner, it makes them feel noticed in a strange cynical way. Play games with them. The dreaded “friend zone” is for guys who try to talk and compliment their way into a girls heart.
They think they want this, but they don’t. Girls don’t want emotional support from guys, thats what their moms and girlfriends are for. They want a man that stands up for himself in a way that if they imagine themselves with him they feel much better about themselves than they currently do. It might be sick, and it might make humanity look ridiculous. But think about it, in the animal kingdom the alpha male/strongest/smartest always gets the girl, not the animal that sits in the back and is nice and complimenting.