Manipulation, isn’t this when one acts on something for sympathy and intentional attention.? This is one adjective that does not fall under my category of description. I stay sheltered hated by the outside world because I simply dislike humans. We’ll at least the vast majority. My own mother calls me this obnoxious word. Why this word cuts me so deeply? Because it is something I truly am not and something that I truly hate when other bitches example. I am a bitch, a scum bag, a dick, a cunt. I am these things because I choose to not let others in, I choose to make others steer in the opposite direction. Because all that comes with letting people in is…..LOSS
Oh this word is what cripples me, loss. I can not loose something that i confided in because once I give once I let in, I can’t let go. So why let in when I can be on my own. Yes I do grow lonely. I have 3 friends. A boyfriend too actually for the past two years. But I push them all away and I argue with all of them. I notice them growing old with me, disposing of me slowly. . I wish I never grew on these relationships. Because they cradle my heart from cracking. From combusting into shreds. . All I do is push away because I’m preparing for the doomsday. The day of loss. LOSS
You are your own reality. When your mind and heart align for something, whatever it may be, the universe has no choice but to start creating for you. This is a most advantageous route for those who KNOW this truth. Think of your life as an electrical discharge that comes from the capacitor that is YOU. When sufficiency is reached within, the impossible can be attained without.
Then fucking protect it instead of losing it? How about that?
Hearts can bloom over and over again. Your loss is in passing up the experience of love. It replenishes itself when it comes from center.