The mind of a manipulative bitch and loss.

Manipulation, isn’t this when one acts on something for sympathy and intentional attention.? This is one adjective that does not fall under my category of description. I stay sheltered hated by the outside world because I simply dislike humans. We’ll at least the vast majority. My own mother calls me this obnoxious word. Why this word cuts me so deeply? Because it is something I truly am not and something that I truly hate when other bitches example. I am a bitch, a scum bag, a dick, a cunt. I am these things because I choose to not let others in, I choose to make others steer in the opposite direction. Because all that comes with letting people in is…..LOSS

Oh this word is what cripples me, loss. I can not loose something that i confided in because once I give once I let in, I can’t let go. So why let in when I can be on my own. Yes I do grow lonely. I have 3 friends. A boyfriend too actually for the past two years. But I push them all away and I argue with all of them. I notice them growing old with me, disposing of me slowly. . I wish I never grew on these relationships. Because they cradle my heart from cracking. From combusting into shreds. . All I do is push away because I’m preparing for the doomsday. The day of loss. LOSS