the most fooslish moment you had with yourself today

Anonymous (@) 9 years, 10 months ago

you know when you’re completely alone and you say or do something completely ridiculous and hilarious? well, i wanna hear about that.

like, today i opened the freezer and everything started to fall out… so my reaction was to yell "HOLY FUCK FREEZER, CHILL OUT". and after a few seconds had passed, i realized that i had 1.) yelled at my freezer 2.) told it to CHILL out without considering thats it’s a freezer and is completely chilled. then i proceeded to sit on my kitchen floor clutching my stomach in laughter for at least five minutes.

another example, this one time i was in an unfamiliar bathroom sitting on the toilet, peeing, keep it real and when i was finished all i could hear was this wooshing sounds, like air being continuously pushed out of somewhere. for some reason i immediately thought the air was flowing out of me (my lady bits) and started to panic, lifting my leg in the air, trying to get a better listen. either way, for about 30 seconds i thought i was deflating and my chest was tight and i called for help. i stumbled out of the bathroom with my pants around my ankles and leaned up against the bathroom light switch, switching it off… and making the sound stop… the light and the FAN in the bathroom had the same switch. so, the sound of a fan made me think i was deflating from my vagina. good job, maria.

OKAY NOW TELL ME ABOUT YOURS SO I DON’T FEEL SO STRANGE.

March 3, 2012 at 3:35 pm
Haakon (5) (@hawcon) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

That was so fucking hilarious I need a moment to catch my breath :D

[Hidden]
Haakon (5) (@hawcon) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

I once yelled to my wireless adapter for 5 minutes trying to make that goddamn thing get a bloody signal out of the air, calling it names, explaining the logic of getting a signal in its current position, threatening it with various scenarios, crying in frustration and in the end begging it while on my knees. Funny thing is my roomate recorded the yelling and screaming from across the door, and he shared it all around to his mates. Never got any signal either :(

[Hidden]
Anonymous (2,654) (@) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

This post cracked me up so much, that I’m kinda speechless. Whatever I say, you’ll beat me with foolishness. But it’s adorable. Alright, let’s see who’s Dumb and Dumber in a good way.
Today I was so bored that I started circling around the house like a total weirdo with imaginary friends. Not that I have imaginary friends, they’ll be way more boring. Speaking of this makes me realize how lonely are the people with imaginary friends which is totally not a happy thing to discuss, unless with your imaginary friends. Hahah Now, remember that the day is not over. You’ll always have time to be a total fool. :D

[Hidden]
Anonymous (3) (@) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

@Haakon now all i want to do is hear that recording!!

@Sasho i think you’re in denial about your “buds” but it’s okay, i get where you’re coming from. ;)

[Hidden]
Jody Hatton (88) (@xdude) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

Today’s foolish moment came from being a total n00b on this board and not understanding why it wouldn’t let me post. I kept getting a white screen error.

BUT HOORAY I’M HERE NOW!!

And very happy/excited to have discovered this site.

I had the idea for this website a couple months ago and have been working on it, buuuut apparently now I don’t need to finish it, because here it is!

[Hidden]
vishnu (1,235) (@vizznou) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

oh yea, i got one – but i’ll have to do a lot of explanation to do for y’all to get it. sssso… last nite a lot of us HEthens were on a positively high vibe and talking about meetin up, and buying a lot of good land somewhere and creating a geographically locatable (im inventing new words here) HIGH EXISTENCE etc etc etc right, and at the same time daveb had mentioned a more practical plan of an actual HEthen meet, those who are on the east coast side…..
and today, i had just opened Google maps, and and by default it opens USA right? and then i notice all these needle pointers on the east coast marking the following places: vermont (daveb), new hampshire (Jason), masachusettes(Brandon), connecticut (Alexa) etc.. great surprise for me cuz of what we were talking about last nite. i get super excited of course, and then i realise its just the states and they didnt have space to mark them on the map so they just put pointers to it… :P …. felt like a total ass cuz it took me a good hour to realise, and for that one hour i was thinking ‘woww, what a synch, this is truly magical’ and all that crap.
in order to see the physical manifestation of my stupidity, you can all go to @stonedragon’s wall, and laugh at me.. :D
*face fucking palm*

[Hidden]
Jody Hatton (88) (@xdude) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

I wouldn’t totally write that off. A lot of times I “just notice things” that have already been around for years — they just weren’t relevant at the time. Now they are.

In other news, I think of the same thing: earning a billion dollars, buying land, and creating a self-sustaining community entirely off-the-grid.

Then again, I suppose I could always just join the Hutterites… ;)

[Hidden]
vishnu (1,235) (@vizznou) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

@Maria the odds of YOU starting this discussion TODAY! i normally dont do stupid shit of this magnitude! fml

[Hidden]
Anonymous (2,654) (@) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

@Maria, I’m in denial with your denial of my denial.

[Hidden]
vishnu (1,235) (@vizznou) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

@Jody, Hutterites? is that what you have chosen to christen us? i like i like. and all that you stated is true… and welcome :)

[Hidden]
BirdFlyingHigh (152) (@birdflyinghigh) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

Maria, you are hilarious.

The stupid shit I end up doing is usually things like me overscheduling myself; being halfway across town and then realizing that I need to be 5 miles away in 10 minutes… I am bad about things like that.

I was making a sandwich at work the other day and got someone the wrong bread and had to start over, then got the right bread, toasted it, and dropped it; then forgot their order entirely and had to ask again, and then still forgot something they asked for. And I wasn’t even stoned! But apparently high-acting enough that a co-worker told me I was giving him a contact high.

[Hidden]
Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

I was walking down the street today, it was a bit crowded so I decided to climb a wall in order to walk on a ledge to get past the crowd faster. I fell on my ass, it hurt like hell and I burst into a 5second fury (screaming a bunch of obscenities in Swedish) and punched the wall a couple of times (completely moronic,) this also hurt so another 5second fury was unleashed. This is when I noticed that people were looking at me and laughing, so they got a 5second fury dedicated to them.

Of course they didn’t understand a word. This is when I realized how hilarious the whole thing was. And I came up with a great idea for amusing myself, I started saying random shit to people, in Swedish. After about 20 minutes of this, I saw a girl who looked really angry, so I walked up to her and said “Haru spindlar i muttan eller?” (“Got spiders up your cooch or what?”) She slapped me right in the face and started yelling in Norwegian. (Swedish and Norwegian are very similar, she understood what I had said.) I didn’t expect that haha. I found this hilarious, so I laughed. This made her even more angry, she screamed and slapped over and over and I laughed even more, then she started laughing too. We were standing in the middle of the street laughing like retards and nobody else understood what was going on. This was hilarious too. Then we became friends.

Yesterday I wanted to make some music, so I went to the computer and then I realized I have no music software on it. So I decided to download some, then I realized I had no internet. Then I realized I had stuff to do and no time to make music in the first place.

[Hidden]
Haakon (5) (@hawcon) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

Hahah Naminal! Oh by the way, pleeeeeeeease tell me what you said in norwegian :D

[Hidden]
Brea (0) (@aweeesomebee) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

Today I poured the milk into my cereal bowl before the cereal was even inside of it and instead cleaning the milk off the counter right away I just looked at the milk jug trying to figure out why it did that. Then I realize how hungover I was. Sad I know.

[Hidden]
Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

@Haakon Sorry, jag snackar inte norska. Jag sa ingenting på norska, bara svenska.

[Hidden]
Anonymous (3) (@) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

I love you guys and want you to know that all these silly stories made my day significantly more dandy.

[Hidden]
Brandon P’naantan Pinkney (321) (@hlalhabattu) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

this actually just happened

I am very much ashamed of myself right now, on my 10 minute bus ride into town to go to the cafe, I saw no less than 5 people I REALLY wanted to draw the portraits of….and I was caught with neither pencil or sketchbook….screw poverty, this is the real plight of the artist

I could cry right now

[Hidden]
Anonymous (3) (@) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

OH! when I was a kid I used to picture an evil knight figure coming into my room every night with an axe. I would squeeze my eyes closed as tight as possible and whatever body part came to my mind first, was the one he was looking for. like, I’d think “left ear” and I’d have to make sure that my left ear was COMPLETELY covered with the blankets otherwise he’d chop the bitch clean off my head. so, every night I’d picture him clinking his way into my room, looking for a left ear (or whatever body part I had thought of), not seeing one, then clinking his way back out of my room. SO one day when I was 12 (…okay, more like 16 but WHATEVER) I was like… okay, this is full blown stupid and I feel like a complete shit idiot for doing this night after night… tonight, I’m leaving my fucking foot out and I’m done with the bullshit. so, I was laying in bed, being all tough as balls, and I pictured him coming in my room… seeing my foot… swing his axe high up above his head… and as I pictured it coming down… THE GLASS BOWL THAT COVERED THE LIGHT IN MY ROOM CAME CRASHING DOWN ON MY FOOT. I pissed my bed, rolled off it, and convulsed on the floor until my mom came in. I stayed home from school that day and haven’t fucked with the knight since. 

[Hidden]
Athens (13) (@giraffe) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

Haha, I always had to cover my ears from stuff when I was younger too. I still do sometimes!

Today I took a bowl out, walked 2 steps away, walked back and took another bowl out… 2 more steps later I realise I’m holding 2 bowls; 1 for no reason. *I was deep in thought.

One time I left some porn on with my door wide open to get some toilet paper quickly… Ended up getting a drink instead and forgetting about it for 20 mins whilst my whole family was at home. -_- No one saw it though :-p

[Hidden]
Em (473) (@emily) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

I saw Jane’s Addiction last night, and where I left my car was a crappy part of town, so 2 of my windows were smashed & my bag was stolen (I’m just upset bc I had an awesome Mario Bros wallet). Anyways, I finally get home, after driving with a car filled with glass, and I’m calling around canceling any cards I had in the wallet. Each time I was put on hold, I started throwing up (it was one of those pounding headache, sickly hangovers). So whenever the lady came back to the phone she was hearing me yacking and then hearing me moaning trying to pull myself together to talk to her again. I felt pretty foolish :) I was totally failing at life this morning.

[Hidden]
Chris (74) (@comicsanmc) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

I spent 15 minutes looking for my glasses, after I got out the shower. I wore them into the shower.

[Hidden]
Em (473) (@emily) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

These are all hysterical :) Maria, that knight story is fucking creepy! That’s insane :) And mANIMAl I would have paid to see that lady slapping you & that whole encounter go down.. that’s awesome.

[Hidden]
Haakon (5) (@hawcon) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

@Naminal Ah, leste litt kjapt gjennom. Trodde du røsket til med noen norske uttrykk i tillegg :D

Earlier today I stacked up my groceries a little high, so my glass with taco sauce smashed onto the floor before the girl behind the counter managed to grab it. We both looked at eachother and said in chorus: “I’m so sorry!” and ended up laughing. Started smelling like tacos in the store right after <3

[Hidden]
patience (147) (@patience) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

today i was on the porch having a ciggy and this little kid ran onto our property from the neighbours’ house and grabbed our hose and turned it on. i was just sitting there watching, thinking “curious kid, don’t worry heh” then he started squirting me! i was like glkkljhslgkjgslsgj heheheh

the fact that i did nothing and kinda saw it coming was stupid, but i’m glad i didn’t yell at him or anything ’cause his mum said he was autistic

[Hidden]
jm (23) (@kkylekittell24) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

Ahhh that is so funny Patience, I would have smiled so hard if some little kid did that to me. I dunno just the innocence of it would have made my day.

It didnt happen today, rather a few days ago, I was dish washing on a friday night at the restaurant and it was getting extremely busy and everyone was running around like bees trying to hold the fort together, and I had nothing to do because none of the dish’s came back yet. So I went on the line where the cooks do their business and started singing out TURN ME LOOSE, with my hands clinched on my waist, dancing with my hips twirling in circles like a hula hooper. I did it for a few minutes and no one noticed cause they were so busy. AHhhhha I was laughing so much.

[Hidden]
Viewing 24 reply threads
load more