Foreword: I wrote this, not to explain the experiences of my first LSD trip (because that would honestly be hard as balls) but to explain the lasting effects it had on me following the trip, and to explain how it made me feel a higher existence in myself.
First, I want to clear up the common misconception I believe people usually have when they hear the word drugs. When doing a new drug with the mindset that you want to experience that new drug solely for the experience it carries, drugs are fun as hell. It is important though to understand the undisputed fact that drugs can be dangerous. I’ve heard stories of individuals who, while in a bad trip, without a literal sense of time, think they are in hell and think the only way to escape is to kill themselves. I’ve heard stories of people who get stuck in a ‘permatrip’ and spend months on end curled up in a ball in the closet truly convinced that they have become an orange. Drugs can definitely be dangerous, but they can definitely still be fun too.
Now when I say drugs I mean all drugs. All drugs change you in a certain, specific way and we all have particular ways in which we prefer to change. That’s why people do drugs. However, various drugs carry various amounts of power, and the most powerful drugs that I want to talk about are psychadelics. Psychadelic drugs are more powerful to me than any other drug and I base that on the fact that they have the powerful potential to change one’s life in a way that prior to a trip, they wouldn’t deem possible. Drugs are dangerous and fun with powerful potential.
So lets talk about acid. For my first real acid trip, LSD absolutely DESTROYED the wall that separated my consciousness from my self consciousness and it destroyed the rubble left behind. With both sides of my mind acting together as one, I literally could look into my mind and see into myself and know what I didn’t know what I already knew. This psychadelic concept is an extremely difficult concept to grasp, so don’t expect to fully understand it, unless of course you’re on LSD or another psychadelic drug.
The biggest lesson that I learned on my trip was that the world isn’t divided into myself and things that are not myself. I learned that I am a part of this life, we all have a part and we are all connected. It’s hard to even try to explain the feeling of having this sort paradigm shift in your mind, but I feel that the easiest way to explain it is in this way: I experienced death. I felt (and witnessed as I watched myself in the mirror, which is a sublime yet terrifying feeling) the death of myself and who I thought I was. I was reborn into who I think I am now, and that might change in the future, but for now in this moment, I am me. And with LSD, I met my self. My true, higher self. My ego less self.
LSD also changed the way I see life and reality. The fabric of reality itself hasn’t changed. For example, a wooden table still looks and feels and smells and tastes and sounds like a wooden table does. Everything is still as it was. The thing that changed is my light. The light inside of me that glows, illuminating this world around me, has changed. With a different light, I feel reality in a new way, with different shadows. I want to explore this way of seeing reality to its full extent before moving on to a completely new and deeper way of understanding.
The most amazing thing about LSD–to me at least– is that it let my mind, the conscious and the subconscious part, rewire itself to think how I truly want it to. My subconscious mind knew what is truly important to me and it brought those things into the foreground of my mind. I wouldn’t change a single thing about how my life has gone thus far, but I have an insatiable drive to change my old habits and make myself better.
And that’s the thing about LSD. That’s the breathtakingly beautiful, damn near unexplainable, and almost frightening thing about LSD. LSD will change you. It let’s you find the meaning and purpose that you need to find. After my trip, I don’t only feel content with myself and my situation, I feel happy and pure.
If you’re reading this, that means this has found its way into the discussion panels on HE. So discuss and let us know what has caused a paradigm shift in your life and how it affected you.