Studying, reading, or really anything comes at a terrible amount of effort anymore. I can’t focus to the point where I am reading conversations here and I simply cannot follow. I hate this; I used to love learning of all kinds, even if it was about something I do not believe in, but now it feels like my head is full and I can’t cram any more in. I can’t even remember when this started happening, but I know that it has been happening for far too long. I can’t even meditate (not like I could in the past) because my mind is so tense.
What is wrong with my head? Should I go to a doctor? I mean, they’ll probably prescribe me adderall or some other psychotropic, but anything is better than this right now.
Information is addicting. Your other post relates to this. Try to find that one thing that satisfies the Sehnsucht.
Wow, I took forever to reply to this guys! sorry.
I’ve been trying to keep myself busy. Being busy helps me focus, if I am enjoying what I’m busy with.
I have been making D&D characters (yep, I’m that guy) and playing video games. Any other time I’m working. I’ve felt a lot better since that episode two and a half weeks ago.
I feel like my problem comes from the issue that I can only call “despair”. It drains me. I am usually fine, but out of nowhere, like a creeping dread, I slowly fall deeper and deeper into a feeling I can only describe as either despair or the Russian word “toska”. I usually don’t shake the feeling for a while, or until I sleep it off. It only happens when I am alone. @zhaetur, I suppose my own psychological bullshit is getting in the way. It seems to block me up and inhibits my brain from doing anything except, well, despairing.
Alex, how much caffeine is in your diet? Do you drink a lot of coffee or tea?
Some people have a low tolerance for caffeine. – just a couple of cups of tea in a day can create enormous anxiety and cognitive disfunction. I know because I have seen this in my own life.
IF you drink coffee or tea on a regular basis, or a lot of caffeinated soda, trying giving them up entirely for a week and see how you feel then.
I have always ingested an enormous amount of caffeine. Enough to kill a lesser man.
I did go through a period where I stopped drinking caffeine almost altogether. I don’t remember feeling any happier, but I was a little more awake during the latter parts of the day. (Mornings still sucked.)
Try giving it up again for a week. Body chemistry changes as you age. What they call the “jitters” from caffeine can produce the symptoms you describe, hard to focus…
When I was drinking green tea heavily (supposedly because its “good for you”) I reacted to it so strongly that I thought I was going to need prescription medication too, until I realized the cause was the tea itself. Once I stopped, I quickly returned to normal. Now I can drink a cup of tea or coffee in a day, but just one, and be fine…
In eastern philosophy we are told to empty our cup, and in the west our cups are always full and overflowing as we are taught to do from the the education system. If we can actually empty this cup, then we don’t need to learn to meditate in any form. We find that we can’t meditate on life, but that life must meditate us. We season our mind with Zen I suppose.
I say to people; I don’t really know all that much, I just make substantial observations and put them into words, most of my knowledge is in vocabulary.
So I think people lock way too much knowledge up in their heads, thinking it will serve them, but more often than not it just gets in the way of our senses, we process what we observe through some kind of ideological labyrinth rather than just trust the truth that is plainly revealed.
But superficial observation only shows us form, we have to make sure our observances are of substance for it to really work, then by creativity, logic and perhaps a bit of knowledge we can formulate ways to address what we observe, just as long as those tools are kept in perspective as tools, not as a substitute for our senses, looking for the most efficient balance between compassion and justice, or what/when/where is appropriate or relevant.