There are a lot of reasons to cry, and I’m sure that you could think of a few just by reading that statement. But, in today’s day and age, tears have grown to show a sign of weakness in both males and females alike.
The problem with this logic: If the tears are a sign of weakness, then what is a sign of strength and perseverance? In times of true struggle, when we feel truly beaten or mislead or (insert an intense emotion here), what emotional outlet is the least harmful, but most beneficial personally?
There are many people who use creativity as an emotional outlet, manifesting their emotions into art that shows their true colors, albums that show them the bigger picture, or a piece of music that speaks to their deepest desires and insecurities.
Then, there are the people, like myself and many others, who cry. Crying does crazy things to our body, pulling on our lungs and making us short of breath; frying our nerves, causing us to shake; shortening our words until only breaths remain. And, most notable of all, our intelligible words that impress so many people become cracked and squeaky, sometimes audible no matter the distance, and full of so much pain that the sound of it draws attention.
Remember, this happens to everybody. Maybe they haven’t cried since they were kids, or they never cried because their parents shunned and/or beat them for it, or because they just never really felt the need. But, one day, in either a tragic swoop of events or with a sudden regret in their final days, they will cry. And when they cry, they will be just like you, or me, or anyone else.
Anger does not make you strong. Anger perpetuates the feeling that one must overpower, not overcome. It breeds in us contempt, creating a universe of self-doubt and the need for blame. When you believe that anger is the only way to express your pain, you start to believe that anger is the only way to understand the pain of others. The longer you remain in this world, the closer you become to those people who looked down on you for your tears.
Do not be ashamed of your tears. They prove that you are a good, sincere person who does not need to resort to anger to be heard. This is why some people cannot stand the sound of crying: it reminds them that pain still exists, even though they have long since convinced themselves that with anger pain is invisible. It brings up the times they should have, or did, cry, and the angst that they felt pushing it down.
But, the thing that one one ever told them is that being “Strong” is being able to withstand great force or pressure, yet “Strength” is a good or beneficial quality or attribute of a person or thing. Anger is not good, and it is not beneficial. So, they feel strong in their anger and later wonder why there is such negativity around them.
The next time you feel those tears welling up and you hear that thought inside your head that tells to you to shove them down and hide them, remind yourself why you’re crying. To live in this world we should not be expected to bring people into our lives who make us feel terrible enough to the point where we want to cry, nor those who bring us down for crying in the end.
You are allowed to live a happy life, and the suppression of something as harmless as tears is more harmful to us in the end.
The next time you feel embarrassed about crying, or ashamed, or negative about yourself in any way, remember that you are showing others that you are human, and you’re strong enough to feel the intense emotion of pain that so many are scared of.
And maybe, the next time you cry, you can smile through those tears and show them all that you really Don’t Give A Fuck.
I agree with the title and with the paragraph before the last, plus a lot of the points you make.
Crying isn’t a weakness, it relieves emotions, just like anger does if expressed, which is gaining control of yourself once relieved. Overpowering and blaming mumbo jumbo, though, that depends on other factors of a personality and have to do with how much you think in excuses for everything you feel. Feel anything without excusing yourself. Negativity is the reason people get angry in the first place.
Maybe people get ashamed because they think they should be stronger next time and are, in fact growing stronger with the shame, or the reasons for crying are often irrational (if you’re often chaotic and unstable, you should seek fucking help actually, but that’s extreme). People usually learn from their experiences and I’d be ashamed if I needed a relief from something that already happened multiple times…
Actually, those who are not scared of intense pain don’t cry out loud about it because they’ve already learned to endure.