Things you shouldn’t say… (GAME)

-stands up- “I’m going to use the bathroom now, could you pause or something?”

tyss to your child’s principal.

You suck at baking! Curl up and die, you little brat.

Things you shouldn’t say to a man named ‘Dick’.

“I really hope your last name is Zucker or Head or Johnson.”

(I actually know a guy named Dick Jonson)

TYSS to a soccer mom

“So, do you also enjoy playing with balls?”

TYSS to a vegetarian

@ Manimal – Dick Johnson is a famous racing car driver here in Aus lol

TYSS to a soccer mom

“is that fat kid yours? you have no chance of winning.”

TYSS to a north korean who is obviously faking being upset over the death of Kim Jong Il

“That’s ok, I can’t imagine a penis that looks like yours is very fertile anyways.”

Things not to say when someone asks how you broke your hand.

“I… fell.. on a.. err.. a thing.. while… uhh walking to.. the kitchen. I don’t really remember how I broke it, ok, but I definitely didn’t break it by jerking off in a weird posture. Why are you asking me all these questions!?”

TYSS to a nun

Do they come with a cook book?
TYSS to a chemist?

(To someone next to you) Reminds me of your sister!

Things you shouldn’t say to your average unintelligent American.

any sentence longer than 3 words

can you point to (insert any other country) on this map of the world?

spell ‘mum’

TYSS to your best friends’ girlfriend who you think is extremely hot, just as he’s dumping her.

Can I have your number?

TYSS to your mother-in-law

“You know how guys always tell their mothers-in-law that cliche about how she looks like a future version of his wife. Well, I was thinking about the future of our marriage and I wondered what the sex will be like. So how about you and I…”

TYSS to a pharaoh

“The pyramids look impressive, but they’re still just piles of rocks.”
TYSS to King Henry VIII of England

“That dinner was pretty damn expensive so I should at least get a bj, ungrateful bitch!”

TYSS to the arab guy sitting next to you on the bus wearing a martyr belt

Sooooooooo. . . hows the Mrs. these days???

Things you shouldn’t say to your knocked up 16 year old girlfriend.

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Things you shouldn’t say on a broken tourist boat (no lights) between two islands in the middle of the night. People panicking and smelling smoke. (this is actually a true story but I won’t tell you what I said :D)

“Yes, finally! This is my moment!” and then start singing the cheesy theme song from Titanic.

Things you shouldn’t say to a japanophile.

“We could use another little boy and fat man right about now.”

TYSS to Newt Gingrich.

haha your name sucks.

tyss during to to the guy running in the treadmill adjacent to you