Things you shouldn’t say… (GAME)

Em (@emily) 10 years, 7 months ago

Gimmie a screaming orgasm, and I’ll give you sex on the beach.

Things you shouldn’t say to your mother.

November 24, 2011 at 8:00 am
Anonymous (8) (@) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

“your going to smell that in a minute”

Things you shouldn’t say to a door to door girl guide selling cookies

[Hidden]
jetsetplayboy (8) (@jetsetplayboy) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

“Do you like Popsicles? I got a whole freezer full of Popsicles in the cellar!”

tyss when your roommate walks in on you having sex.

[Hidden]
Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

“Hey, there’s room for one more body in this bed, you should join us.” Oh wait, maybe you should say that. So here’s another one:

*Hypnotic Jedi hand gesture* “You did not see anything, this is not your 14 year old sister. Now get out of here.”

TYSS to a unicyclist

[Hidden]
Kyle Gunderman (0) (@superk175) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Fixies suck

things you shouldn’t say to a mime

[Hidden]
Em (473) (@emily) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

View post on imgur.com


Things not to say to someone undergoing surgery.

[Hidden]
jetsetplayboy (8) (@jetsetplayboy) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

“Oh, you’re about to see Dr. Reed? He’s a great guy–he just drank me under the fuckin’ table on his lunch break!”

tyss when shopping for a new cell phone.

[Hidden]
Em (473) (@emily) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Does it come with the Tiger Woods app?
Things not to say to your father when he’s found your stash.

[Hidden]
Megan Wilson (5) (@poefan2490) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

“Oh! I’m so glad you didn’t search my ca-…. I mean, I don’t know where any of this came from!”
tyss to the losing little league team

[Hidden]
elton (0) (@elton) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

(in your best Nelson voice while pointing rudely) “HA HA!!!”

TYSS to your landlord when the rent is late

[Hidden]
Legal Mascot (7) (@vallari) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

I have paid it already. Maybe you suffer from short term memory loss!

tyss when your boyfriend doesn’t open the car door for you on the first date.

[Hidden]
Em (473) (@emily) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Fuck I blew way more cash than I thought on lapdances last night.. don’t feel bad for me though, it was well worth it.
Things not to say to your mother/father-in-law just after you’ve been married.

[Hidden]
Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

“Honeymoon, suckers! The things I’m gonna do to your daughter… mmmmmmm….” With a big, smug, smile and eyebrows going up and down, with an arm around the new wifey.

TYSS to someone who has cancer and aids.

[Hidden]
Alex Eastman (71) (@alex) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

“Ew, that’s sick, don’t touch me!!”

TYSS after someone sits on your bed.

[Hidden]
Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

“What the hell are you doing!? Don’t sit on my bed, you’re making it dirty! Fuck, you even took the bus here, imagine how many people have farted in those seats. Shit, now there are all kinds of dirt and germs in my bed. What am I gonna do now? You’ve ruined my bed permanently, now I’ll have to buy a new one. This is the 13th time, it’s gotta stop. God, why hast thou forsaken me?”

TYSS to a drunken english football supporter

[Hidden]
Alex Eastman (71) (@alex) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

*in fake accent*, “Excuse me gentle sir, but I highly detest this so called ‘football’ of yours. American football is more delightful!”

TYSS while getting a prostate exam.

[Hidden]
Em (473) (@emily) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Look out dude, I had mexican for lunch.
Things you shouldn’t say to the person who just ate the salad you made for dinner (that they already ate).

[Hidden]
elton (0) (@elton) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

(while looking in the salad bowl) OH MY GOD!! I only left this out overnight so where did all these cockroaches come from???? Mmm I thought it was a bit crunchy…have i got anything stuck in my teeth?

Tyss to the chef when your steak is undercooked

[Hidden]
Megan Wilson (5) (@poefan2490) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Did you butcher this cow? Or did you have someone do that for you too?
TYSS to the person who stayed up all night writing a story for you.

[Hidden]
elton (0) (@elton) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

meh, I hate fiction.

tyss to an angry mob of skinheads

[Hidden]
Anonymous (2,654) (@) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Only black guys look good bald.

TYSS to a person with a raincoat and a hook in one hand

[Hidden]
Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

“Why are you holding the raincoat and the hook in the same hand?” (grammar nazi style)

TYSS to a smurf

[Hidden]
darius (0) (@dee100) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Your height is great for oral! :tyss to a stripper

[Hidden]
Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

“No, I gave you that money because I want you to put on MORE clothes, not undress, you ugly behemoth.”

TYSS to someone whose cat just died

[Hidden]
Megan Wilson (5) (@poefan2490) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

“I’ve been looking for a cat to use in a new recipe I’m trying. Mind if I use yours?”
tyss to an environmental activist.

[Hidden]
Em (473) (@emily) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

Fuck trees!!
Things not to say to your boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s religious mother.

[Hidden]
Viewing 24 reply threads
load more