Gimmie a screaming orgasm, and I’ll give you sex on the beach.
Things you shouldn’t say to your mother.
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“Haha you’re gonna look ridiculous with that big belly”
“Should have thought about that before, shouldn’t you. Looks like you’re fucked haha.”
TYSS to the undertaker
“Do me next!” “So how creepy do you have to be to do this job?” TYSS to the person house sitting for you.
” watch out for the clown ”
TYSS to the job interviewer
lolol^^^ are these fishnet stockings too much? tnts to an 89 year old female librarian
“I’m sorry, there must be something wrong with the catalog, because I couldn’t find any scans of vintage playboys ”
TYSS to a friend on their death bed
“Don’t worry, you left a terrible impression on me, and I’m sure everyone else hates you too… :)” TYSS to Santa.
“why do I have to be naughty, why can’t I just be called bad….strangely To Catch a Predator of you”
TYSS to a monk while they are meditating
” Holy crap Buddah!!! ”
TYSS to the devil
“I’m so hungry, I’d do ANYTHING for a sandwich right now…”
TYSS to your boss’s wife.
TYSS to your parents after you get busted for a party in high school
If I could go back in time I would do it again. These glasses are famous now.
Things not to say to a woman in labor with her first child.
“Quick! I need a shit.”
TYSS to a council worker picking up litter.
“when you’re done there, do you think you could wash my car?”
things not to say to your maintenance electrician
“You charge HOW MUCH?! At least the plumber let me see his ass first!”
TYSS to a schizophrenic
“You know the aliens, right? They sent me here to watch you…”
TYSS to your girlfriend when she gets back from the gym.
“so you’ll be going back soon i’m guessing?”
Things you shouldn’t say to the person in the stall next to you.
“So, I’m selling these homemade brownies for my kid’s school…”
Things you shouldn’t say to your high school guidance counselor.
“i know where dad hides the keys to the gun cabinet”
“i recently joined the sniper club”
“my dad got me an M16 for my 16th birthday!”
Things you shouldn’t say to your ex when you want them to keep the kids an extra night
Since I have a life and you don’t…you don’t mind do you? Things you shouldn’t say to a hooker.
@Em – my kid’s mom actually SAID that to me once!
“Do I get a partial refund if I don’t use the whole hour?”
Tyss to the chef at a sushi restaurant.
Omg what a bitch :) “Could I get a pussy penis?” Things not to say after you push the emergency stop button on an elevator.
