I sometimes lay down on my roof just to gaze at the stars, I realize how small I am; in turn, how ever problem in my life is just as small. I think of how we are just on one huge peace of rock (illiterately speaking) moving through the vastness of space. It makes me smile. It allows me to let my mind break its barriers and ask questions about life on other planets, to ask questions that are selfless. I do not worry about my social status. I do not put my mind in a certain situation (usually the past). It is such a beautiful thing to be alive. But then…
Someone calls my name. My whole entire world changes. My perspective, my beliefs, all of them altered to fit in with the current focused situation. The consequences of “adaption” I believe. Nothing is as small as it was. My mind clouds with burden-filled thoughts, of most of which I can’t change (the past or not at the moment). I adapt to social expectations without realizing the endless possibilities to live life. Its as if I’m to lazy, so I follow the expected. To be honest, it really pisses me off. I spend hours just reflecting, but what’s the use. Sometimes I feel its a f*cking miracle that we can have the same worries. It seems like we all react the same in a way. I know we go through similar situations, but in no point in my life has someone told me to think “these thoughts”. But give us the same problem or stressful situation, and we shall react the same.
Seems I am going off topic. My basic point is that, I’m tired of living a circumstantial life. Like right now, I feel like I have a choice to leave all of my potential in the future. For example, if I think right now, when Monday comes, I will talk to that beautiful and intelligent girl in Math class. But of course when Monday actually does come, the circumstances alter every aspect of my confidence, my beliefs, my perspective. It makes me wish I was omniscient.
Final Word: I’m Tired of Living a Circumstantial Life
Everyone lives a circumstantial life. There is no way around it. Life is based off of these circumstances and each one slowly develops the person you are or who you choose to become. In the case of you wanting to talk with that girl; the change in circumstances didn’t really change, you did. Whether or not she had a boyfriend or not doesn’t really matter, you could still talk to her. But to say you wanted to date her, now that would cause a problem. However, it doesn’t mean that you couldn’t “steal” her or wait till her relationship fails. You still could all of this. The only difference is that you talked yourself out of it. Each one of those scenarios does draw out the person you choose to be. The timid guy who doesn’t get what he wants, the girl snatching jerk, or the patient unselfish guy that lets two people figure their lives out with each other.
Being omniscient would not make life easier or better. It’s the unknown that really makes life worth living since it gives you that little bit of a rush. In poker when you have a good hand and you see the card that makes it better, that feeling. When you find out you just got a job that you have been secretly pining for, and get it. These moments of unknowns are the highlights of life. They are the ones that people we emulate strive to achieve.
Basically, your potential is always in the future. Potential is just the best in you that you have not achieved. Don’t lose yourself in the bigger picture, everyone notices a dead pixel. Finally, circumstance are always there, whether you put yourself in them or they come to you, there is no stopping the world and life around you. You will have to interact with it.
@nicnac, you need to start monitoring/reducing your brain activity either through meditation or anti-stress activities.
People these days are used to pondering so much information, we start to believe it’s normal to constantly be re-working our plans, self-doubting ourselves and critiquing our every action in our heads.
If you want to go talk to some sexy math girl, you go ahead and decide that, and then tell “yourself” (your ego pretty much) to stfu until the plan you decided to carry out is done with.