Trapped in My Mind

Thus Spoke Haze (@ehsan) 8 years, 8 months ago

My dreams frighten me.

The people that I meet in my dreams know the truth about me.
They look upon me, into my eyes, and all they see is all I know.
It is not the accusation of their stares that unsettles me, but instead the guilt I feel in knowing that they know of all my sins that causes me such dismay.

When I wake, I wander through the world, seeing shadows of the people in my dreams; wondering if they too know the truth.

I can only hope that there is wisdom in the people of my world; that they may know the truth, for I am in desperate need of answers.

March 27, 2013 at 8:15 am
backcase (204) (@backcase) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@ehsan, I am about to post a thread and I would like you to read it. I will post the link here for you and everyone friend.

The people in your dreams are not people but they are reflections of your conscience which you have been less than sincere with.

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DaJetPlane (994)M (@lytning91) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

This is something I can talk endlessly about.

I cannot tell you the number of times I have projected this fear of others knowing what really goes on in my head onto strangers and figments of my reality. When someone laughs and then makes eye contact, I wonder if they are laughing about my insecurities. When someone avoids eye contact, can they sense what I said to my friend that I feel guilty for saying?

The reason I punish myself so much in my head is because I fear how good I might be at actually masking my sins and my scars. If no one knows who I feel I am on the inside, who is left to hold me accountable but myself? I don’t always trust the world around me to be hard enough on me, so I take it upon myself to feel the guilt and to play my own mentor.

Let me tell you, though, this game is dangerous. Getting to consumed by your perception of yourself will cloud your ability to perceive others peacefully. You will develop a deep distrust of people, and this will destroy something our kind needs to survive: others. Letting the paranoia of your guilt and sins going unpunished prevent you from the basic human necessity of socialization will end you or I.

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Anonymous (68) (@) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@ehsan, noone can ever know whats happening in your head, only you.
the people you meet in your dreams are parts of you. they know everything about you. you know everything about you. its just that you cant be aware of it the whole time. :P

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Thus Spoke Haze (102) (@ehsan) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@lytning91, @backcase, @bono95zg, Allow me to clarify.

What I meant by that post is that the representation of people in my waking life appearing my dreams and making me feel guilty is merely because of things that I know about myself.

Unfortunately, in my dreams I cannot seem to help myself because the people in the dreams are just representations of my subconscious.

I say that I hope there is wisdom in the “shadows” of the people in my dreams, or the real people in my waking life, because if they are wise then maybe they will have the answers to help me that my own dreams cannot provide.

I search for these people.

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Anonymous (68) (@) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@ehsan, i understood you :)

“the people you meet in your dreams are parts of you. they know everything about you. you know everything about you. its just that you cant be aware of it the whole time.”
————means something like ————
“… because the people in the dreams are just representations of my subconscious.”

“There are no facts, only interpretations.”- ie it is what you think it is. other people can only help you realize, but never give you answer. :)

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backcase (204) (@backcase) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@ehsan,
“Without passing out of the gate The world’s course I prognosticate. Without peeping through the window
The heavenly Reason I contemplate. The further one goes, The less one knows.”

Therefore the holy man does not travel, and yet he has knowledge. He does not see things, and yet he defines them. He does not labor, and yet he completes.

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Thus Spoke Haze (102) (@ehsan) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@backcase, then is the holy man not a fool to speak on such things which he does not know? Perhaps you could explain your meaning further.

@bono95zg, “other people can only help you realize, but never give you answer.” Truth.

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DaJetPlane (994)M (@lytning91) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

I believe I understood correctly. Your mind is projecting these feelings of guilt, throwing them into the shadows and peripherals of your life as a method of keeping you aware of how you feel about things.

The issue comes in you thinking you can’t teach yourself the lessons, so the constant reminder serves as a motivator but not an actual outlet for change/acceptance.

Sounds about right?

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backcase (204) (@backcase) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@ehsan, It is important to know thyself.

Why search for answers outside of yourself?

And it is not my meaning, I forgot to put that the quote is from Lao Tzu

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Thus Spoke Haze (102) (@ehsan) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@backcase, How am I to know where my consciousness ends and the outside begins?

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backcase (204) (@backcase) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

You would not be asking that question if you knew what your conscience was.

@ehsan,

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Thus Spoke Haze (102) (@ehsan) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@backcase, And if I feel my consciousness is linked with all those who are around me?

“Why search for answers outside of yourself?”

What then?

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backcase (204) (@backcase) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

I don’t know exactly what your question is.

However, maybe if I ramble off some things that have to do with the “self” I’ll graze your question.

We have to go in an order of privations before we reach the living reality.

Right now, our main block is our “selves”. The self must be overcome first, so that we may lose any incorrect judgement or perspectives.

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backcase (204) (@backcase) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@ehsan, Then, once we have made our senses void and stopped our desires, we become more away of the reality of life where answers are not important and we are not looking for an end of anything.

But we sense that everything is beginning, becoming, and giving.
Everything is perfect because everything is in the process of becoming more perfect.

Our consciousness is like a section of a body of water that has become cloudy. We must remain still very patiently so that all of the mud can settle at the bottom.

Once clear each fragment of our being may be able to see the light clearly and increase it within each member, as water magnifies light.

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Thus Spoke Haze (102) (@ehsan) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@backcase, I’m not exactly asking anything anymore. Just exploring haha

I have a tendency to rationalize with dualism, but that was a very beautiful image you created.

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