trouble with spiritual awakening?

Timo (@timoteo) 8 years, 10 months ago

we’re at a point in time where people are waking up all over the world. It kinda sucks tho when you’re the only one experiences these things in your circle of friends and most people around you. This website has been one of the best things in supporting my awakening, not too sure where I’d be without the insight, wisdom, and perspectives of you Hethens here! I wanted to see if anyone else is undergoing a spiritual awakening and see if you’ve gone through similar pain/anguish and troubles, and maybe advice on completing my journey. I first experienced an awakening around 2 years ago after reading The Power Of Now. That shit completely changed my whole perspective and was the first time i felt the wonderful power of the present. Ever since i felt my purpose was to completely transform into a completely enlightened being. Yes I’ve had amazing experiences since then, learned about the vast limitless energy there is within, and done things to amaze myself and others, but it has NOT been a smooth ride.
I had scholarships to my college and it started awesome. I had amazing monk-like focus and school was easy. Then i had a super-tramatic experience that Im not sure if i can quite explain completely. All my anxiety/worries/suppressed emotions ive been carrying all my life starting bursting forth. I would experience trancendence atleast once a day, but i would then experience all the malicious energy stored within me the rest of the day. It got to the point where i couldnt complete basic assignments (i became a nervous wreck) and couldnt pay attention in class. i felt that everything i was learning was useless (compared to the possibilities of self-actualization) and I was only there out of the expectations of others, and my own fear of the unknown. I dropped out and it was a HUUUGEEE ordeal with all my family (i have a large extended family). there was no way to possibly explain what i was going through with them and any mention of anything spiritual was taken as demonic from them (good ol christians). Anyway i did not understand what was happening in the slightest, and i had no idea how to go about accepting any of it. I felt as if I was going in and out of sanity on the regular and had no idea how to express myself (without being taken to the looney bin) so everything was furthermore suppressed. I distanced myself from all my friends and become a depressed but hopeful loner. I couldnt explain to anyone what was happening and had no mentor or anything to guide me, so i went through a bout of SEVERE anxiety/depression as i tried to force myself in alignment with divine will. It took me a long long time to understand that one cannot force oneself to awaken, and that there is no such thing as try.
I am still not fully awakened, and am still learning and still on my path, but I am lightyears ahead of what i once was. I learned how to become more passive and acceptive of thoughts/feelings and i also opened up. i learned of the liberating power of truth/honesty, and the courage it takes. Also better nutrition, physical movement/excersize, supplements, breath awareness and yoga have helped tremendously. I still have those days where I’m like “WTF am I doing? I gave up my whole future?!” (still solo on my journey). For now I am a student of life and consciousness, hoping one day to fully understand enlightenment and spread it amongst the masses.
So there had to vent, Ive been having lots of trouble with this whole enlightenment gig, and im curious to see what yall have to say

February 1, 2013 at 1:58 pm
Teresa (24) (@foxmind) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@timoteo, Thank you for sharing this. I too have found precious drops of wisdom among the HEthens.
Usually the rightest path is the hardest to follow, and it seems you’ve chosen it, against your family and friends pressures you are now living more truthfully. Although you may feel lonely, know that you are not alone on that journey. The universe is within you :)

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Angie (5) (@angbblue) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

Hi. I’ll share a few things I’ve learned that have been helpful to me. First of all, it’s a true fact you cannot have good without bad. You are going to experience all kinds of hardships in your life. The hardest times in your life is you struggling to learn something that will ultimatly make you a better person if you allow it to. You can choose to struggle with the pain and discomfort struggle all you want, or you can choose to see it as a good thing and go with it.
On the topic of Spiritual Awaking. I’ve read a lot on the subject. One thing everyone agrees on where I’ve been learning is that Spiritual Awaking can be achieved through the highest level of Meditation.
And last, the older I get the more I realize how very little I know about anything :)

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jain the rahul (10) (@jainrahul1992) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

the biggest of all hardships i find is in conversing with a friend…….i just so want to tell them to have a real conversation…………….but they go on and on about things that don’t matter……………things they are just speaking and not things that they feel………..reading your post made me a bit calm………..there was a chaos in mind before this……….if you ever find out wat to do next …………do tell me!!

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Timo (41) (@timoteo) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@jainrahul1992, I’m glad I could bring you some calm, and I definitely will let you know. For now I’m intent on learning how to open up all my chakras and seeing where that takes me. much love!

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@jainrahul1992, I know how you feel. If you are sick of listening to them talk about the same subjects, why not try asking them about something you consider more meaningful? You are equally responsible for the flow and topics of conversation.

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Anonymous (84) (@) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@timoteo, I know what you’re going through, I also experienced that anxiety & depression you’re talking about as i tried to force myself to get back to that place of bliss.

This is my personal account of my spiritual awakening, maybe we can help each other :)

My Journey after "Awakening"

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Anonymous (177) (@) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@timoteo, greetings! you are getting there. no rush, no hurry, no urgency. all the stuff coming up and crushing you happens – not a sign of anything amiss. sign of your ego and everything your life was based on up until then being annihilated. that is positive sign. gave me the sense of being a boat adrift on the ocean with no power nor rudder. “I still have those days where I’m like “WTF am I doing? I gave up my whole future?!” ” again, normal. no big deal – normal. just keep on keeping on and you are correct: it cannot be forced. there is nothing to do. nowhere to go. it works within you on its own. congrats :0)

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Anonymous (0) (@) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

Hmmm I quit my career in a way because it didn’t align with my spiritual awakening. I was a wreck at work and I didn’t wish to kill people. I’ve never went down that road, but if I did as a awakened person, I believe things would have dramatically change about me during that time. I would imagine myself becoming a very cold individual that would rarely smile at anything and my funny warm personality would be gone.

The thing with me I see the holistic picture with a lot of shit in life and I am able to form wise decisions. I pity people that are bad or evil because they are victims of the environment they were brought up in. People start off as blank slates that just want to have fun and find happiness, but this canvas heaviest diluter is their environment, which can corrupt a fun loving child. With my ability to see the holistic situation of things, I blame environment before I blame a person.

I’ve never connected with so many people because of this spiritual thinking I possess, this sense of spirituality and wisdom acquired been my only friend and it’s gotten through the darkest times in my life.

I look at the condition of humanity before I look at a geographical area of humanity. What would truly kill us off before alien invaders, an asteroid or the sun burning out would be humanity conflicting with itself.

And I’ll be damned if I see an intelligent species that arised in this vast emptiness we call the universe fail because they couldn’t stop fighting amongst themselves.

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Anonymous (0) (@) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

I believe in humanity.

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Timo (41) (@timoteo) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@papashibshib, Read your story and i felt like you were describing mine. You nailed it perfectly, every word. It seems many people are having similar experiences, which is soo rad (thank the lord, im not crazy! Woo!) the experience of being home, and endlessly trying to get back to that state to the confusion it brings to those around us. I wish sometimes we already had the instructions, the map home, but what im finding more and more to be the eternal lesson from this struggle is that the map im looking for already exists in my heart, as a living map continously taking me where i need to be.
Peace on your journey my friend, heres to being all that we already are!

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Listenbox (9) (@listenbox) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@timoteo, I see so much of myself in most of what you said.

I think I’m also in that passive and accepting phase and its been awesome!
But when one of those heavier thoughts makes its way in, the thing that helps me the most is to understand that this is a larrrrgge process happening alllll over the world! I realize that I’m not alone in this and that it will get easier and easier as more and more people start to ride that spiritual and uplifting wave

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tyler (14) (@crane) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

There is no “I” in spiritual enlightenment.

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Jon Brooks (4,512)A (@JonBrooks) 6 years, 6 months ago ago

haha, doesn’t quite have the same effect as ‘there’s no I in team’.

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Tess (0) (@tesshonor) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

I want to have a spiritual enlightenment but i don’t know if i should? I tink it would be amazing and i would really benift from it, i feel like im missing out on the bigger picture, slightly lost and bored. But i dont know if i…. Deserve it? If im the right persn? help x @timoteo does this make any sense

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Timo (41) (@timoteo) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@tesshonor, First off you most certainly do deserve it! Everything ive ever learned in my experiences with the mystical is that enlightenment is humanity’s birthright and eventual destination. What a spiritual awakening is is just realizing you are more than your thoughts. You wake up from identification with thought and form and realize you are infinite awareness. Having such a realization is pure bliss, freedom. However, if u have this realization without first loving ALL things about yourself, it can be very traumatic and very easy to slip back into lower consciousness and identity with pesky thought forms (as in my case) my advice to you is not to worry about “waking up”, just make the effort to understand and love yourself. Learn to surrender your worries to the universe and love all of life and all you are experiencing right now. Consciousness is directly related to love, and the more you love the more you will become conscious of. Love will rip the viel of illusion before your eyes and let you see the vast beauty and wonder that stretch through all things in existence.
Hope this helped and i’m sending you love! Let me know if you feel it :)

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Anonymous (149) (@) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@timoteo, http://www.energygrid.com/spirit/2012/07ap-spiritualawakening.html

READ THIS! This you NEED know before awakening.

As for finding people like you, you need to talk bout it to people and not be afraid of their shifting perspectives of you.
In this article it says to not TEACH other people if you only had a spontaneous awakening because you don’t have a structure to teach people the right way. But still be open to other people, you’ll find them.
I was alone too until i talked about everything on my mind to a friend. I pretty much opened his mind/converted him.
Let go of your ego as well.
Peace be with you.

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Anonymous (149) (@) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@jainrahul1992, You gotta speak up. Be honest. If they get offended then have something back to say like, “I’m just being honest” or “Let’s forget bout the bullshit for once and talk bout what’s really important in life,” just be honest bro. Think like, “how would a guru say it,” you know?
(Don’t be an asshole/dick though haha)

OR

Ask a question, what you think bout life? *s/he answers*
Then you can add your part in it or tell em bout HE and how a lot of people talk bout some open minded shit haha

Don’t be afraid to sound a little crazy either… just make sure you make your points. A person who has not awakened will not know what the fuck! a being with a higher consciousness understands.. So go with the basics if you know he’s ‘asleep’
Just be cool, chill, don’t get too emotional and speak your mind.
NUMBER 1 THOUGH, SPEAK YOUR MIND!

Peace be with you. :)

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Anonymous (149) (@) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@tesshonor, Whether you know it or not you are already a part of it. It’s not whether you deserve it or not…Are you a spiritual being living a human experience? I’m sure you are & even if you weren’t (that would make you an alien in which i would very much like to speak to you and for you to tell me bout the mystery of this cosmic universal existence:P) you’re a part of this universe and everything that resides within.
You need to let go of the ego which is causing the self doubt and negativity.
Spiritual enlightenment is for everyone, it’s realizing all of which you thought was true is not.
Read the article i put up, 2 comments up, it talks bout awakening.
Slowly the wall starts deteriorating as you go.
Move forward.
Meditate.
Be conscious.
& Love.
When you learn… Be kind and lead the blind. :)

Peace be with you.

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marimar (0) (@marimar) 5 years, 10 months ago ago

Would you just send me a hello to my e-mail [email protected]

Don’t know how this works but I would really like to talk to you.

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justwakingup (4) (@kuba) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

Just wanted to say, I have been going through this “awakening” in the last few weeks. It’s been a trip. Real rollercoaster of being centered and then getting hit with the past and the future at different times which either causes depression or anxiety. Only in the present is when I am truly happy and that is what I am deeply trying to hold on to. The ego is giving me a hard time, but I am learning to have control over it, rather than it control me. I found that meditation helps, positive affirmations, even those iPhone apps that guide you through it. Whenever you feel overwhelmed you have to center yourself and let go of whatever. Let those feelings out! The pranayama is a good one. When I feel like the depression of past is kicking my ass or anxiety of future I just focus on my breathing. I slow myself right down, and breathe. It’s amazing. It also opens your brain up. I find when you turn the rackets in your head off you are more receptive to new stimuli. Learning is fun, and it’s why we are here. And being positive and excited about it is key!!! So pray, ask your guides for help. When you feel scared, ask your angels for help. Know that you are not alone, and we are all one. All that matters is the moment, the now, so slow down and appreciate the lessons and beauty of life. Much harder said than done, I know. But practice, and do what you love, and surround yourself with love and know that you are safe, and you are where you are supposed to be at all times. Life is tough, it’s a challenge, and you either learn from it in a positive and fun-filled exciting way, or you create your own hell on earth. I would go with the former instead of the latter, baha. Smile….. laugh……. and peace and love be with you.

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” -Teilhard de Chardin

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Eric (59) (@eric0127) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@timoteo, Hey, I feel like I am currently going through the same thing, like word for word. I am the only person out of my friends and family to go through a self-actualization/awakening experience. When I try to explain what its like to my friends they say to keep it to myself because Ill look crazy or be looked down on. Its hard to suppress something that is so strong inside of me.

I, asw well, feel like pretty much everything Im learning in school is useless. Well, not useless, but I feel like theres more important things to learn about. So youre definitely not alone on your journey

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Timo (41) (@timoteo) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@eric0127, Thats awesome man, soo much anxiety has been lifted off by finding out tons of other people are going through the same thing. I used to question why why why was i the only one around experiencing this, but have come to find what a huge purpose lies in this. All will eventually awaken, but when you find yourself alone searching for the light, it means that you are the vessel for the light to touch all those around. We’re all were we need to be, and ive come to be excited to be the light in my circle of influence. Its all gonna be so amazing when everyone else starts awakening, and we have all this knowledge to guide them smoothly into the light.
Wishing Peace love and light to you, and our brothers and sisters who will see the light soon

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 8 years, 8 months ago ago
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Ben (148) (@cognizantelephant) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

lol.

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@cognizantelephant, lol at you :)

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Timo (41) (@timoteo) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@tangledupinplaid21, <3 back atcha!

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Di (239) (@dida) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

I feel you bro. I am going through similar experience. The thing that really kept me going was listening to videos of Mooji. Check it out, it’s a really wise and awakened Master. Here is one of my favorite : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZaCnyMN-Zw , Let me know what you think! :)
Also, along the path I found an amazing book/blog that shares wonderful wisdom. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZaCnyMN-Zw
You seem like a really interesting being by what you have wrote, keep on going with your path…and good luck to you! Stay blessed.

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