I’ve been trying to figure out for years now where I truly fit in, and what I’m supposed to do with my life. I grew up in a small town where I’ve known everyone since preschool and never had a hard time being part of a crew. Once I got to college and then on to living in bigger cities, I always had a hard time getting in with a solid group friends (I’m not a huge nerd or anything…I’m very likable, into all sorts of different things, open minded, etc.). I’m also a musician (drummer) but haven’t ever really found my crew with that either. I play in several bands, but most of the time those friendships don’t extent beyond music.
I went to college, got good grades, did everything right, but I’ve yet to find a job that pays me better than $10/hr. I’m not the kind of person who can ever do a typical 9-5 office job either.
What it comes down to is…I’ve always felt like I’m destined to do something great, whether it be with music, or with a really unique and fulfilling job. I feel like it is inside me waiting to burst out, but it never happens. I’ve worked job after job after job and played in band after band but nothing seems to break….and it’s not like I suck or anything, I play with talented people….I’m not a prodigy but I can hang.
Has anyone else had these feelings? Has anyone had them and then finally broken through? I wonder if I’m just looking in the wrong direction or if I’m doing the wrong thing and I can’t see the signs or what. It’s very discouraging and I have a hard time trying to be positive. I feel like I’m pretty good at networking and I keep thinking I’m getting in with people in a good way and then something turns sour or just doesn’t work out. I think I look too far ahead to all the possibilities of a new opportunity, and then it just disappoints.
Any similar experience?
I have this feeling and I’m not even out of high school yet. Writing is to me as music seems to be to you, and even with great grades I don’t know where I’m going. I don’t “click” with anyone in my life (save for one person who I consider my best friend) and I’m constantly struggling to feel like I fit in. At the risk of sounding angst-y, my family doesn’t even understand me.
All I know is that there is more out there for me than just the typical, but I can’t seem to grasp it.
I used to feel this way as well. I was never that popular of a kid throughout school. I tried super hard to fit in by emulating what the “cool” kids were doing. I never felt like I was getting anywhere. I was jumping from “click” to “click”, but I never felt like I fit in with any of them. It took me until I was 24 to figure out that, for me, I have to be myself and live by my passions. If you try too hard to get somewhere that you “think” you want to go, you may miss the opportunity where you are MEANT to go. Similar to the scenario of if you lose your keys, and you endlessly search for them, scouring your entire house, only to find them miraculously laying right next to you when you have all but given up hope and sit down on the couch in defeat …
You are at the stage where you are second guessing what your passion is, because of your lack of results so far in life. Go by what you are truly passionate about, and success will come. It’s not a matter of “if” but a matter of “when”. The thing about the “When” is that if it is truly a passion of yours, the “when” shouldn’t matter.
Good luck, and god speed…
In the words of ‘Finding Nemo’….”Just Keep Swimming!”
I would recommend to not look too far into the future. I would stay present and true to your surroundings. I had a similar feeling when I was in high school then I realised I can just do what I’ve always wanted to do. It was sitting right under my nose. I always wanted to create a TV Show, and I never thought it was going to be possible. I realised me saying it was impossible was making it impossible. So I wouldn’t be surprised if your future is right under your nose already. I would think that you’re doubting of what is to come is the only thing that is stopping you. Your mindset of worrying and anxious of the future will be the only thing that will hold you back. Enjoy the now. Do what you want to do. Don’t worry about anything. The future is yours to make, and if you keep having doubts about it, that will be your future; a doubtful one. Just Be.
A couple of Dr. Seuss quotes that I feel like saying right about now…
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
“Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
People have already said some great stuff. All I can say, man, is never, I repeat NEVER give up on searching for what you love to do; the thing that makes you feel fulfilled or the ‘gift’ that you have. You may not have found it yet, you may not find it for another 20 years for all I know. But don’t let that hold you back from searching. In the end “it is the journey that matters.”
if you were meant for it only time will tell. If want it then you have to make it happen, no matter how hard it is, it will be harder never feeling fulfilled. Wait and in time you will garner your success or “just do it” as Nike says.
I hear what you all are saying and I really agree with a lot of it. I suppose what it comes down to is that I don’t know how to put this stuff into action, or how to even be patient and enjoy ‘the ride.’ I practice a lot, I play in bands, I’m constantly trying to get things going and keep my network growing, etc. but I guess I get weighed down by other stuff like worrying about having money and whatnot. I don’t feel like I can go out and have a good time because I’m super broke….it’s this cycle of not being able to focus on what I’m passionate about for fear of not being financially stable enough.
What it also sort of comes down to is that I feel I’ve wasted a lot of time. It took me 3 colleges and 5.5 years to finish a college degree. I almost dropped out a few times, and now even though I feel like I’m only 22 or 23 I can’t escape the thoughts that I’m several years older than that and still haven’t done anything substantial (and even though I don’t agree – society dictates that by your late 20s you should probably have your shit together. And most people I grew up with are in law school, grad school, med school, etc. But I’m not there yet…..if I even ever will be). I guess I’ve been consumed by this feeling that something needs to happen right now because I feel I haven’t utilized some years as best as I could have.
I don’t know how to fully enjoy the day-to-day. I feel like I’m constantly looking for a better job and that ends up just making me bitter. I don’t want to just pack it up and go back to where I’m from because that’s not going to make me grow any more as a person, but the frustration of just treading water and not fully realizing my potential/purpose gets me down and I have a really hard time thinking positively. In general, I’m happy….but there are these cravings that tell me I need something more…..and that this isn’t how I’m supposed to be my whole life.
Some people seem to just fly right through everything and they know exactly what they want to do and where they want to be and they just make it happen. I always thought I had that inside me too, but it’s proven otherwise. Makes me envious of people like that for sure.
hmmm .. I feel ya..sometimes its really hard to have hope/faith in your journey.
“What it comes down to is…I’ve always felt like I’m destined to do something great, whether it be with music, or with a really unique and fulfilling job. I feel like it is inside me waiting to burst out, but it never happens.”
I know what you mean with destined to do something great! I dont know if you feel the way I do, but sometimes its hard not to give up on myself and go to “college” for a “real” job.
But I have never been the type of person who can just do an aimless job.(something that just doesn’t hit home with my heart and soul)
It doesnt matter what everyone else around you is doing, they are following their dreams/want for money..
I never knew what I wanted to “Do” its like in across the universe, why is a man/women judged on what they do instead of who they are..find out who you want to become not do. look inside your heart and soul and no matter how others might view it follow your heart and the answers will start to unfold.
I am 23 and a new chapter has begun, I have felt like I have been waiting at a pit stop in life trying to find what road to get on, instead I have found (through self discovery and past
discovery) that i AM ALREADY on my road I have just made some pit stops and their are always going to be pit stops (that’s how you grow and learn) i just have to remember to ask myself is this where my road ends. I have always felt a need to fulfill an epic life. I have a need to do great things and help many people!
Im about to take a 9 month course in massage therapy, yeah when it ends I can make good money, but I am doing to to better myself in a healing way(learn the body) after i want to learn more about healing practices that are not to known in our cultures. I am just a little native american but i feel deeply rooted to it, i always say if i was part of a tribe i would be the healer:) that’s why im taking massage therapy, to help others bodies and spirits..but that’s not the only journey I will be on, I have a passion to help our world become more eco friendly living (the way building are made and stop our use and throwaway living)..but I will also make money selling crafts and paintings lol.
I guess what I am trying to say is you dont have to do just one thing for the rest of your life, when you can do many things :) Dont worry about money follow your heart and the universe will keep you safe and sound:)
Good luck and live an epic life:)
@jranck13, I believe that the problem with you is that you are looking for the result.Money is the result, doesn’t motivate, doesn’t inspire your actions.
You do something with a band or with your studies and you expect some sort of reaction from the other people.
Really have you ever thought to make a specific dream come true?
your goal is vague.you want to live an epic life but you never asked your self how you would do it.
and when you cant decide what you want whether is one thing or ten
you feel that your tries go to nothing.
But that is not truth.You just lost the way and it’s high time you found it and life your ideal live.
@jpete011, i think that in order to live the journey you have to decide where you
want to go.Of course it’s the journey that matters !
you will be sure you chose the right path , i think you ll understand it,everyone does.
Hope I’ve helped because i had a similar experience last year.
I’m finding that really I’m just having a hard time just living the life I want by putting it into action. I’ve heard a lot of the same advice that you all have been giving before…..the problem is just making it happen. I don’t know what to do to just take control and do what I need to do.
Any advice on what anyone has done to just make it happen?