Truthspeak (attempt 3)

 JonH (@IJesusChrist) 7 years, 10 months ago

I’ve written about this idea quite a number of times, and almost always 90% of the feedback is “no way, man, we need to lie once in a while”.

I’m going to truth speak to you right now, before you say that; you’re fooling yourself.

Our society and culture tells us that children don’t need to know the truth (yet) [Thanks bianca for the intro] and that we shouldn’t explain things fully to them. Death is a heavy subject, you tell them “They go to a better place”.

In the outright fabrication we are creating dissonance within the mind, and also reinforcing later on that it is okay to not always tell the truth.

Truthspeak isn’t JUST telling the truth, though. Truthspeak is sincerity, honesty, and simplicity. There is no tip-toeing around the subject, there is no delicately placed ‘fluff’ in your words, there is no compromising. You say it.

A serious example is when people ask you for your opinion on their art. If you don’t like it – DONT TELL THEM YOU LOVE IT.

A friend asked me the other month, “How do you like my song.” it wasn’t very good, it was very random, and it sounded annoying. I wasn’t ready to drop that kind of truthspeak on him, as that would not be acceptable at all. What I did truthspeak is this; it isn’t balanced, however the idea you have to go against basic rhythms is very interesting, I’m excited to hear more (because I was).

Truthspeaking in a relationship will save you years of regret, years of pain, years of awkward moments. When you enter a serious relationship do what you have to to always speak your truth. If you’re angry, tell them. If you’re upset, tell them. If you don’t trust them, tell them (although not giving trust can sometimes be your own fault!).

“How are you?”
“Fine.”
NO.

“How are you?”
“I feel displaced at the moment.” or “I really feel great today. I want to get stuff done!” or “I’m worrying too much about things.

Much of our mental discomfort comes from WITHHOLDING ourselves. We don’t always want to express ourselves fully to others, even though it would feel so much better to let it out.
*********
Let me tell you, my first sexually-interested relationships were disasters. I was so new. I thought being together was like being friends that had sex, but its not. Being in a relationship is removing barriers to a person, and it feels so beautiful. Its so liberating to let someone inside you (not physically you sick fuck!) and let them see. Let them hear you and be you.

But partner relationships don’t have to be special in this regard. All friendships can be like this, and ideally, everyone you meet should be open and opened to you. But that is a utopia. After my years with my g/f I’ve begun to let my guard down with friends. I’ve begun to open myself to people who I normally would have never gotten past small talk with. I just don’t care anymore, and in reality, it feels so much better when I just SAY stuff to people.

Ahhh. I’m done now. Train of thought derailed.
Don’t lie. Speak honestly and with respect. Let people know what and who you are, don’t hide it.

December 6, 2013 at 11:39 am
Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@ijesuschrist, Very relevant for me on this particular day. I agree with you, especially on the part about being tactful about less unpleasant truths such as not being crazy about someone’s new song. No need to be a dick about truthspeak.

“not physically you sick fuck!” haha

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YHVH (462) (@spaceghost) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@ijesuschrist, I see someone with a new tattoo. Of course it’s a tribal tattoo.
They ask, “Do you like it?”
I answer, “Do you?”
They say, “Well yea.”
I respond, “That’s all that matters then.”

I agree with you. Withholding my truth is probably what holds me back the most. I just feel really stupid when I say anything about my own struggles, like I shouldn’t have them or it’s too whiney. But it does seem to help when I’m honest about it, even though I feel embarrassed after.

I get what you mean about your example with children. We should be honest with them. I’ve noticed that if you just treat them like a person instead of dumbing down everything, they understand better.

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Anonymous (13) (@) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@ijesuschrist, I don’t think you have any idea what you’re talking about, Jon. I’m not sure you were ever truthspeaking to your authoritarian representatives and you’re vengeful because of them.

You are taking things beyond truthspeak, you are actually trying to trick people into believing something like truthspeak exists.

Who do you expect will understand? Besides the people that will disagree with you, even if they are what you’re aiming at.

I don’t think this site is appropriate for full truthspeak.

“Truthspeak is sincerity, honesty, and simplicity. There is no tip-toeing around the subject, there is no delicately placed ‘fluff’ in your words, there is no compromising. You say it.”

Truthspeak was one of the reasons the shittiest advices came from the authoritarian figures. Don’t fall into that trap!

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JonH (1,139)C (@IJesusChrist) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@francis-york-morgan, The fuck are you even talking about?

Truth speak comes from the Shaman, the medicine man. Truth speak is a communication between what one person ‘sees’ in another and what person feel in his/herself. It has nothing to do with authoritarian whatever the hell you are talking about.

I honestly don’t understand your response (in both WHY you are saying it, and WHAT you are saying).

Are you afraid to speak the truth? Are you afraid to hear the truth? Why do you run from truth speak?

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secretagentpeter (81) (@secretagentpeter) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

One should learn how to create the mechanism of their mind before using it….
Then again most people learn from using their minds (even unmindfully) before choosing how exactly they should organize their process…
Maybe you should understand why your friend likes their tattoo instead of understanding that they just simply do. After all they’re request was for your opinion on it. Thus it would be dishonest to have an opinion based on theirs because you don’t even know if you agree with reasoning for getting it.
I think being truthful is a whole lot different than being mindful, at least the way you’ve put it.
I don’t think the withholding of thoughts is what causes the anxiety that makes you not want to say them, that’s just a bitch paradox.
@ijesuschrist,

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Anonymous (13) (@) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@ijesuschrist, *gulp* I am really running from it. In fact, I am about to do it physically right now.

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secretagentpeter (81) (@secretagentpeter) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@ijesuschrist, It seems just as you refused to see the perspective of your friend’s art you have refused to see the perspective of @francis-york-morgan
“You don’t deserve a point of view if all you see is you” -Paramore
lol

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JonH (1,139)C (@IJesusChrist) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@tangledupinplaid21, There is a fine line in truthspeak and passion-fueled speak.

Truthspeak takes some time before it is said. You must think, but when you feel it, you know it. Truth speak is not blurted out and its not ‘gut instinct’.

Our minds are not only cultured to give white lies and fluffy tales all the time, but they are also not by default in truthspeaking. “I fucking hate you!” can come out instead of “I am very upset.”

We are obsessed with not only feeling negative things ourselves, but giving them to others. Who knows why this is so. Truthspeak never wants to make another feel anything but aware, cognizant.

Truth speak is why I do not enjoy hearing/saying “I love you”.

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JonH (1,139)C (@IJesusChrist) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@francis-york-morgan, by the way, your second reply is exactly the type of response our society would condition one to give out in the absence of what one truly wants to say.

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JonH (1,139)C (@IJesusChrist) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@secretagentpeter, I didn’t refuse to see the perspective of my friends music (not tattoo). I understand why he enjoys his music, and I can see the good which he sees in it. However, to me, I could not enjoy it and I told him why – it seems unbalanced. I also told him that I did see what he saw in it – the unorthodox rhythm and beat, and that I was excited to hear more as I thought there was potential in his work.

I believe you are saying things just to say them, without thinking thoroughly. You are assuming that since half the story is missing, it simply didn’t happen.

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Kyle (27) (@kylerbbrowning) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@secretagentpeter, your perspective sucks in my perspective

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@ijesuschrist, i love you :D

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Anonymous (13) (@) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@ijesuschrist, You mean I walked those 5km and climbed those stairs back home because of society?

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secretagentpeter (81) (@secretagentpeter) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@kylerbbrowning, “not physically you sick fuck!”

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Kyle (27) (@kylerbbrowning) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

Et cetera, Et cetera !
@secretagentpeter,

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Kyle (27) (@kylerbbrowning) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

Your perspective sucks too! @francis-york-morgan,

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YHVH (462) (@spaceghost) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

This is getting petty as fuck.

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secretagentpeter (81) (@secretagentpeter) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

Everyone, my second comment was lame but I do wish to get a response to my first one please…

@spaceghost, The petty-ness has just grown, we’ve been feeding it :)
Let’s see who can win this king of the hill battle for a superior opinion!

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@spaceghost, @secretagentpeter, love conquers all. i win.

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secretagentpeter (81) (@secretagentpeter) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@tangledupinplaid21,
Hey, Psssssst!
ᵗʰᵉ ᵍᵃᵐᵉ.

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Anonymous (13) (@) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

So I just decided to go to the store to get myself some gin. I came back and my two neighbors from the 3rd and 2nd floor decided to keep me for 40 minutes, because I didn’t know how to persuade them to not give me fish and bread. Yes, it’s Saint Nicholas day, a Christian holiday, Orthodox and Catholic, and is when you eat fish. Now I have a dish with a fish and rice in it that I don’t own and have to give back tomorrow because I couldn’t deny their generosity.

You’re probably going to be the same good forceful granny @tangledupinplaid21

@kylerbbrowning I assume there’s something you want to say and it has nothing to do with me. What’s up?

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JonH (1,139)C (@IJesusChrist) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@francis-york-morgan, You’re a great example of why I started this thread.

Everyone – truth speaking is not how Zach is portraying himself. Truth speaking is an attempt to look at another person, see what and who they are, and speak TO them, not at them.

The word ‘see’ in a tribal language of brazil has two meanings. In addition to the homolog of our ‘see’ it also means to see inside a person – to see them as they are, what they keep to themselves, what they cover up. When a shaman of the tribe says ‘he sees you’ it means he empathizes with you, he understands where you are and your perspective.

Right now, I don’t see you Zach, but mostly because you aren’t attempting to let me. You are hiding from me, and not speaking truthfully.

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@francis-york-morgan, lol. Jon has said he loves me too before. I can’t prove it but it’s true! I swear!!!

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JonH (1,139)C (@IJesusChrist) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

By the way I’m kind of disappointed in the progression of this thread.

http://www.steventillonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/derailed.jpg

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@ijesuschrist, that was the point… sorry. Proceed.

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