I get ridiculously jealous of people.
My life is getting seriously shitty now. I know there’re a lot of 16 y/o’s with unhealthy habits, but I feel like I’m deliberately killing myself. I do nothing but go to school.
My diet’s awful and I never get any exercise.
My mind’s going crazy because I don’t do anything…even the internet fails to interest me now.
I find myself more and more often fantasizing about other lives. I lie for hours just imagining random little scenarios and whole stories of me being another person.
I feel like I need someone to properly care.
It’s a shame because I sometimes feel like I have a lot of potential. Like I have a lot of potential potential, you know. Yet at the same time, I know I’ve fucked up… The only consolation is that I think a long life of nothingness is slightly less wasteful than an ended life. And of course, I can continue creating my own lives in my mind.
Apologies, I put hardly any effort into writing this post. I seriously can’t be bothered anymore. What a shame, eh? Dick.
some fluffy words from someone like-minded: remember other people all ultimately have the same emptiness. and if we all killed ourselves…well one little girl is gunna survive and be like wtf? Thoughts are like blips in a vast nothingness. if you’re interested you can look up various stuff on the mind…
the way the mind works, if you keep thinking about things in that sad, nihilistic way, the thoughts just keep reinforcing similar thoughts. maybe focus on what’s making you sad and /cry. it wont kill you, but killing yourself will.
and your body can still do well if you start eating better. think about it like this, it’s choosing pain and not being able to do anything about it, or no pain. the only thing that can get you out is your desire to alleviate your suffering.
so there’s all that, but the sad truth is we’re all going to die. Between now and then for every mortal that ever reads these words, that will be true. but seriously, you’re still in high school, get into something like cosmology or nano-biology and make us immortal. cosmology though, and maybe go to some other galaxies/pocket universes, and get the aliens to give us superpowers.
you also misspelled unattractive in the thread title so the book is out.
@mallorn, ohhh that’d have really bothered me yesterday.
I feel like there’s something stopping me from being what I could be, but I reaaally don’t know what it is.
And nahhh I’m pretty sure I’ve ruined my chances of ever having a truly healthy body tbh
@black-and-baloo, You say your diet is awful and you never get any exercise, these are immediate things you can change about yourself. Instead of thinking about all the things you want to be, think about the ways you can get there and then go do it
@black-and-baloo, Stop thinking about how you need to be something else, you are what you are. If you keep thinking that you need to change, then that pretty much guarantees that you will be unhappy. Accept yourself as you are, and let things naturally change. Start off with your diet and exercise, two things that you can change right away
@black-and-baloo, occupy your mind with everything that is good in your life and start being thankful for it. Even if it’s the tiniest thing like finding a quarter on the floor or appreciating that there’s a roof over your head. Number those things constantly. Those tiny blessings add up. It’s not fluffy bullshit, it really works. Your thoughts are creative and they form a perception about your life that is all your own choosing. All you are focused on right now is what you don’t have. Just change your mind about it. Don’t fantasize or be jealous about other lives because what you think is attractive is only a mask and other people are just as insecure as you are. They fear you knowing this most of all. No one wants to be perceived as vulnerable. when you find that you have everything you only worry about keeping it and getting more of it. It’s an empty collection of things and masks. And that is meaningless, just chasing the wind.
@black-and-baloo, Hey Lewww. Thank you for sharing, Why is it you feel like you cannot have a healthy body? What you decide to put into your body is a simple choice of mind. Excersie doesn’t have to be a big adventure, even just walking around your block will make a difference. Most people think “Oh, walking out to the mailbox and back, what will that do for me? Nothing, why bother.” The truth is, every little bit counts. Everyday. Do today, just a little bit better than yesterday. Grilled chicken instead of crispy. No sauce on your burger. Help your mom with the groceries and then take the dog for a walk. To be honest, you really don’t want someone to simply give you the answers, you want to find the personal strength inside of yourself. Don’t ask someone which road to take, just ask where to stop for water. I’ll shoot you my number in a PM, next time you are feeling jealous or negative, text me. Think of me as your pocket guru. I’m serious about helping you, if you are serious about change.