What are you struggling with lately?

 Jordan Bates (@bashfulkoala)5 years, 1 month ago

Hey all,

Just curious what people are struggling with lately. I can’t be too specific, but I’m somewhat struggling with the fact that certain loved ones judge my life choices. Also struggle with the process of embracing falling in love again, while still being in love with my last partner.

Any random words about either of these situations would be appreciated, but I’m also just curious what you all are going through. Will offer whatever I can. It can be helpful to just vent though. What’s up with you?

Peace / Love,
jb

May 11, 2016 at 5:15 am
Stevie (7) (@BrainFartSteve) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

Hey JB, I’m struggling whether I should get a arm tattoo or not. The idea is appealing to me, but the family is judgemental and I worry with my professional career since I’m finishing college and need to start a job and the rest that goes with it.

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edaas (4) (@hssiakd) 5 years ago ago

You Will,..

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Branham (1) (@Branham) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

Im going through the same thing you are JB but I did to myself. I just got arrested last week and got out of jail Sunday awaiting a court date everyone in my family is upset and wants me to join the military its a little rough lol. Hope you can figure out your situation and make the best of it. 

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utkarsh kaushik (2) (@utkarshkaushik) 5 years ago ago

just get it if you want to…………………..get a small one though :)

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BitterOldMan (17) (@BitterOldMan) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

Can relate to the falling in love again part, in 4 years i haven’t meet anybody for whom I had the fancy as for my ex. On that “I got nothing to offer but my own confusion”. Just decided to stop looking a focus on more giving aspects of my life :-) . Besides that I’m awaiting the final answer on my appeal to the neuro-facist regime of the danish maritime authority. By Friday I will know if I’m allowed to pursue a life at sea.

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Convict Hammer (15) (@convicthammer) 5 years ago ago

This is exactly what I’m struggling with right now, it’s even been 4 years for me as well and even though I have met a lot of people, no one has shaken me or truly connected with me, I really thought someone would come around, but I feel like, as time goes on, I’m the one shutting down, closing gates in my mind and making it harder for anyone to reach me. I’m even worrying that I wouldn’t have enough time for a relationship right now with my work and studies.

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CarlosMon (0) (@feareater95) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

I’m struggling with college payments. Last semester I lost my scholarship and I have a debt of 2100 dollars, and I might not be able to study next semester. My parents don’t even know this. Also, I’m struggling with cigarrette addiction and the girl I like thinks I’m a loser. I need a way to make money fast.

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bnn (8) (@dalebenmenschen) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

Is it possible for you to apply for studies in a foreign country without having much to pay? Are you from the states?

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CarlosMon (0) (@feareater95) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

No, I live in Mexico and to study in a foreign country I’d need to pay the same amount as if I was studying at my uni.

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Ashley (2) (@ashley) 5 years ago ago

Don’t make money for the girl 
Don’t worry about making money at all 

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manusolorio (0) (@Manusolorio) 4 years, 11 months ago ago

My recommendation is: Don’t do anything, you don’t really want to do, just to impress her. If the girl you like thinks you’re a loser,  maybe she’s not the right girl for you dude. 

Hope you find a solution for your money situation. 

Keep your chin up!!

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bnn (8) (@dalebenmenschen) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

I am struggling with new feelings and the difficulty between dreaming too big and dreaming of things I really can and will realize now as my school time is coming to an end.

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jujee (6) (@jujee) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

I’m much older than most of you…over 50…(a bit) and just changed jobs. I am an LPN (nurse) by trade and I wander from job to job, too fearful to just bail and fear I am too old to do so. I just can’t seem to find peace right now, even with reading, writing and meditating.

Otherwise jb….loved ones have a tendency to judge your life choices…it’s a fact. You have to decide who to allow into your circle…family or not. I cut the cord with most of mine and do not regret it. If you long for love and are still pining for your ex….it will not work. I am speaking from experience here. Take time and work through it. Find out what you REALLY want or don’t want. Time on your own is never a bad thing when you are on the mend. When you are not longing for love and happy in your own company, it will happen. It did for me in my mid 40s. Cliche’ or not…don’t rush it.

Peace,

ja

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VanessaLauren (0) (@VanessaLauren) 4 years, 11 months ago ago

You are never too old. The day you die will be the day you are too old to do anything, and even then, you will still have minutes/hours, to make choices. If you aren’t feeling peace, I would take that as the perfect sign to go.

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Justabeatty (5) (@Justabeatty) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

So there’s this girl…

It’s been about 7 years since we have really talked and now it’s our senior year. I was a childhood crush of hers back when I hadn’t really acknowledged her, and now the tides have kind of turned. 

We befriended quickly early in the school year and just as quickly I felt a twinge of feelings for her. I was able to easily flick them off and that aspect of our relationship dissipated. She made multiple comments about me being husband material which I took lightheartedly (although I truly am). But over time, the honeymoon stage of the friendship faded. Then comes prom. 

I didn’t see it coming. We didn’t go together. We hardly associated with each other throughout the night, aaaaaand then came the after party. She hit me like a freight train. There was just no stopping it (not like I was trying that hard to stop it). I thought it’d be advisable to not get into that mess for the sake of our relationship and I thought I was in the clear when I decided to crash in my friend’s bed early, but she finds me and proceeds to steal my friends spot on the bed and at that point I’m over for. 

Events transpired. 

Days following that weekend were actually pretty good. But then one night we get into a small quarrel over who knows what and it leads to us trying to “figure out the relationship”. It seems to turn out fine but over the next few weeks it will spoil even more.

at this point she has stirred up trouble with me, my best friend and our other really tight friend and with them everything seems alright. There’s no tension between anybody except me, myself and the girl. I have to interact with her daily because of our now intertwined friend groups, but she has the tendency to drive me down sometimes when she does flirty shit with my friends and I can’t tell if she’s doing that to mess with me or because she actually prefers them over me (which is the harder of the two for me to accept). 

We have our days where it’s really a great time being around each other and we can have all the fun we want, but I feel like she should know that it hurts when she does these things and some days she really sasses me off which sucks even more. We’re both staying around after we graduate, along with a lot of our friends so I’m not sure how quickly the situation could really change. Omitting her from my life right now is virtually impossible without leaving and destroying my group of friends. Right now I’m just trying to tough it out and it’s been getting better. 

Any advice? Don’t need anything too prescriptive it just helps to vent.

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unbiasedman (5) (@AndrewSmandrew) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

I struggle from chronic eczema, a severe dryness and recurring inflammation all over my skin. I cannot swim for the water drys my skin out. I cannot camp or travel comfortably for I need to shower twice a day and apply a plethora of cremes or I will end up looking like a reptile. I’ve learned this the hard way many a times. It is so easy to take having normal skin for granted. I’m a very social person when my skin is in order, however, it often gets out of control and I am ashamed to talk, communicate and. most importantly, make love with others. Physical contact and nakedness scare me. 

I write this with the intention of both answering your question and to remind you of how lucky you are to just have normal skin. OP, your love for your last partner still lingers but at least you have felt mutual affection and love in the first place. Don’t think you won’t love again, time heals everything and hopefully my skin!

*peace sign*

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Emma :) (0) (@emmaa8234) 5 years ago ago

I also struggle from eczema. The sun helps a lot. Tanning makes it go away completely. Applying oil afterwards helps too. Hope this helps! :)

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unbiasedman (5) (@AndrewSmandrew) 5 years ago ago

I had thought the exact opposite was true! I’ll definitely give it a go. :)

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Netta (0) (@Cockypinkcrocs) 5 years ago ago

Do some research on African black soap? Have you looked into your diet? I only had a small eczema out break, I decreased my meat and sugar intake along with starches, it cleared me up. That was the first and last time dealt with eczema. . I hope you and your body figures out a solution, get well soon! 

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Bs99boy (2) (@Bs99boy) 5 years ago ago

Much love, you inspired me 

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Cory H (2) (@akirano1) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

I’m struggling with still feeling deeply attached to my ex. Trying to better my life in the job department. Looking for something that genuinely gives me purpose and motivation daily that what I’m doing will impact someones life for the better.

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AndrewJ (7) (@Andrewjohn3) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

Are you ME?? Lol, feel it fully and let it pass. things get better with time. I’ve realized that i’ve been more on my shit than EVER after a breakup (5 years high school gf, now in junior year of college). Learn it as a lesson and apply your mistakes and correct them for future relationships. Be around positivity and POSITIVE people. Do something new everyday, or every month. New hobbies, passions, pursuits. Keep moving forward for a better you. Good luck. you’re not the only one struggling with this :)

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Cory H (2) (@akirano1) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

NAW! ARE YOU ME!? But it sucks. Sorta goods new though. Starting a new this week hopefully I get one of changes in life that I’m seeking. Hope something good comes your way as well Andrew.

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sfarooq00 (1) (@shireenf) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

i’m struggling with a really bad hormonal imbalance. With really annoying symptoms like hair loss and no periods and stuff even though i’m just 16. also struggling with my social anxiety. its hard to make friends with this thing in your mind.

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Alex Squire (1) (@Alex-Squire) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

I get anxiety primarily about my health. I have palpitations in my chest quite often, and I have had headaches pretty much every day for years. I have been to the doctors many times and had ECGs which have always come back fine. But the symptoms still persist and so does my anxiety. Even though the tests seem to show there is nothing wrong with me I still worry that WHAT IF there is? What if they missed something? I know there is a limit to how many times I can get an ECG, so I went for CBT because the problem is probably psychological. I’m not sure how helpful I found the CBT, because I still have the niggling belief in the back of my head that there might be something wrong with me.

My anxiety comes and goes though. When it’s bad it can keep me awake for days, because I’m afraid to go to sleep. But when I get into a good sleeping pattern it’s okay. I use meditations to help me fall asleep at night, and most of the time it seems to work. But once or twice a week my thoughts get the better of me and keep me awake.

What would you say is the best way to deal with anxiety? 

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Bs99boy (2) (@Bs99boy) 5 years ago ago

Isolate yourself, and meditate. Make peace with yourself and don’t be afraid of what life throws at you. I can’t comprehend what your going through but I know that’s how I defeated my anxiety. I used to get anxiety attacks a lot 

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Beverly Johnson (48) (@lovydovybevy) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

Funny timing running into this discussion question. I just recently told the guy I’ve had feelings for for a while how I feel about him, and he ended up not wanting anything too serious since he wants to travel, and not have too many obligations in one spot. I totally understand, and it makes sense, but goddamn it hurts so much. I don’t come across very many guys I think are worth the time, so I really felt I hit the jackpot with him… I have to cut ties with him for a while even though I would like to keep contact with him. I would just be torturing myself if I continued to casually see him and have sex with him. Haven’t felt this way about anyone in a long time… so it just sucks, you know.

Jordan, I’m really proud of you for living your life the way you feel you should even when loved ones are judging your actions. I think people like you are the ones who are truly strong and who tend to make more of a difference because you are doing what society is not used to- being different, exploring, pushing your boundaries, doing things that may seem “unstable” or “unsafe”. That was all very presumptuous of me to guess at your lifestyle, but I think you understand my gist. The love and support of family and friends is very important, but I always say that you need to be and stay the most important person in your life. It’s your journey, your experience, and communicating with those loved ones that you’d appreciate they’re respect for your decisions may open their hearts to you since they already care about you. If not, then hey. You just gotta keep doing you, man. 

As for your love life…. seems like you might need more time? I’m no expert in this field (see above), but it seems like the situation could get messy, especially for the current partner/person you’re falling in love with. Maybe just take it super slow? I’m literally talking out of my ass, I’ll just stop haha. 

Any support appreciated HEthens <3
Bev

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kyle (0) (@olekingkyle) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

i’m struggling with the decision to be alone or stay with my GF and daughter.  I’m a solitary person and having my GF in the house with me drives me crazy.  On top of that she doesn’t work so she never leaves the house, she just stays with my 1 yr old.  I work all day and come home to her craziness.  She is really just a very emotionally unstable irrational person and i’d like to leave her, but at the end of the day if she goes she’ll take my daughter and the court will side with her. Not sure whether to be happy and miss my daughter or suffer and get to see her everyday. Could def use some HEthen advice right about now.

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Beverly Johnson (48) (@lovydovybevy) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

Hey Kyle, 
Please take anything I say with a grain of salt, because I don’t personally know you or your situation and I also don’t know anything about how child custody works (although I hear it’s pretty messy and biased towards women). I actually stated this in my reply to this discussion post but I’ll say it again- you should be the most important person in your life. Now, I also don’t have a child, so I might be talking out of my ass here, but I still believe that you need to take care of your happiness and well-being first. By taking the necessary steps to remove negativity from your life, you open up doors to new possibilities for your own growth and happiness. I couldn’t imagine coming home from a long day at work to an environment that is in such turmoil when all you want to do is relax and play with your daughter. If I were you, I would choose to be happy for the long run. Imagine if you’re suffering and your daughter sees you in a constant stressed-out state, and the kind of behaviors that stem from unhappiness and dissatisfaction- you won’t be the best dad you can be for her. If you put your happiness first, you will perform so much better as a father and role model for her. Again, I don’t know how child custody works or your particular situation, but if they allow some kind of split custody or visiting time, then I would take advantage of that. 

Sending love your way,
Bev

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Ella (1) (@SavetheInsane) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

I’m struggling with feelings, emotions and all that shizz. I feel so apathetic to everything. Its like I feel emotionless. Everything seems so bland to me. I’m not sure if it’s a real problem at all… What are your thoughts? 

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Ben Buchanan (1) (@Ben-Buchanan) 5 years ago ago

Hi Ella,

I have this problem where I like to solve other people’s problems without any knowledge of how to do so. I’m no authority in emotion.

That said, the last year has been a year of great loss. Everyone dies, I just always thought it would happen differently. Cleaner. Grieving is something that I have discovered does not come naturally to me. I’ve been bottling up feelings since I can remember. Don’t get me wrong, I have fun, really laugh, sometimes, and I love life. Yet it seems the emotions coming from inside lately are those of sorrow, melancholy, and bittersweet hope. Most often, I seem to feel nothing at all, which usually feels more like a slightly numb tension in my chest. All I can say is when I have this feeling of nothing, it usually means there’s something there I don’t really want to feel because I fear it will hurt too much. Though as I learn, I realize that hiding from the things I fear will only dig myself further into the pit of fear itself. Once I allow the feelings to surface (which after holding them back for so long, is usually a little messy), I’m often glad I did. Just don’t expect to come to any magical understandings every time you have a good cry, or some other such expression of feeling. Usually, it just ends in peace.

Hope this helps a little tiny bit!

ben

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Letgo (0) (@Holdonlove) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

Well, I’m currently 33 yrs old and was initially put on psych meds around age 16. I truly don’t know why it all even started. I guess I was too emotional or something. All I know is that, after approx 15 straight years of being medicated, I have come back to life. :). I do feel that my stopping the meds that literally made me feel like a zombie without even realizing it, has been a major catalyst in somewhat sudden awakening. Anyway, trying to get to point..current struggles would be feeling very alone physically. I do feel a deep connection to all life but at the same time, no one presently near me to relate to. :(. I know my changes have come on rather rapidly, so I understand the confusion and such that must be felt by my family and other formerly close relations.  Just want to move forward, with love, and never stop. Would be kinda nice to have a friend though in this. 

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Michelle Clark (1) (@Michelle-Clark) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

I have been hearing a sound that resembles a electric screwdriver. Only at night but it hurts the next day. I don’t know wat is causing it but OMG. Please give me some answers.

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Stella (0) (@Stella-Leal) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

I recently discovered several bald spot on my head.  I attribute losing my hair to the extreme stress I live with everyday.  I am a 67 year old great-grandmother my husband is 70.  We babysit our 2 year old great grandson. Our granddaughter is a single mother and does not work; however she is out and about all day and at times all night.  We watch the baby to keep her from strapping him in the car seat and keeping him there all day while she ‘runs errands’.  She is mentally unstable and the child’s responsibility falls on us. Baby’s grandparents ‘help’ when and if it’s convenient for them. We worked all our lives and are now retired.  I’m am considering going back to work, at least If I had a real job, I would get paid……..Thoughts???

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Sharon Ottolia (0) (@Maverick333) 5 years ago ago

Would “fostering” your ggson provide you with the money needed? Would speaking with your granddaughter about having you and your husband assume guardianship for him help? After all, you have no legal rights to receive any gov’t assistance or to have medical help for him, whether an emergency or medical appointments. Another thought is to contract with your granddaughter and her parents as to how much time you are willing to put in and STICK to it. You could call child protective to address your options. One more, there are many, many grands out there who are experiencing this situation, as I once was. Go to AARP website for more input. Don’t go back to work. It’s too difficult doing everything at our age. Blessings to you.

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Elena (1) (@elena44) 5 years, 1 month ago ago

Planing my time. Mostly my free time. What is the “right”/important thing to spend your time? Im trying to figure out what is good for me, what do i like to do most.. :)

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Squazo (3) (@mygrayzj) 5 years ago ago

At this precise moment I am struggling with studying for a long day of finals tomorrow.. but that’s no big deal. Love is on the top of my list too.. It’s such a weird feeling and I feel like I am trying to push it away. Rationalizing reasons why I should not enter a relationship with this person although we connect so well. Something tells me it is a purely physical relationship, and then to justify that I place myself on a pedestal and see all of the things that make me “too good for her”, but I do not say these feelings out loud, especially to this person because I do not want to degrade them and ruin what we have, and I rationalize that if I do not vocalize these thoughts I am not really thinking them.

But I think it is time to swallow my pride and just go with it.. I am getting trapped into the thought loop of my younger, less matured brain. Is attachment all that bad, and what is really the worst that comes of potentially falling in love with this person? A heartbreak emotionally, a few slashed tires physically? Who the fuck cares… Why should I let somebody’s past actions when they were also less mature shape a decision I make about them now.. The new experience of a “girlfriend” (I fucking despise that term, and labels in general) and not to mention love, should outweigh the negatives I keep visualizing. But really there is only one way to find out, and I am torn on which road to take.

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Trevor (0) (@bluepanda43) 5 years ago ago

I’m an engineering student, struggling with the monotony of an uninspiring educational system. I love science and technology, I love learning and building things to make the world a better place. I hate having to spend all my time doing math homework and studying dull topics just to earn decent grades. I feel that I’m not learning anything useful, I’m just wasting all my time and energy working to get a degree rather than actually expanding my consciousness and bettering the world around me. 

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Beverly Johnson (48) (@lovydovybevy) 5 years ago ago

Hi Trevor, what school do you go to? There aren’t any cool projects going on at the school that you could possibly be a part of? 

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Trevor (0) (@bluepanda43) 5 years ago ago

There are cool projects, I’m actually very involved in my school’s Formula SAE team which designs and builds racecars. I’m learning a lot from this, but it seems to have nothing in common with any of the courses I’m taking. The more involved I get with actual projects, the more I feel that my classes are a useless waste of time and money.  

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Beverly Johnson (48) (@lovydovybevy) 5 years ago ago

I see. Unfortunately, it seems the way the system is set up, for a career in science and technology, it is basically required that you have some kind of degree to show you went through the schooling for most companies/start-ups, whatever, unless you start your own. How many more years do you have left?

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Trevor (0) (@bluepanda43) 5 years ago ago

I’m just finishing the second year of a five year program, so I’ve still got three left. You’re right that a college degree is a necessity for a conventional career in engineering, it’s just frustrating because I don’t see any real value in it. I’m stuck between enduring through a few more years of school just to get a piece of paper that makes myself marketable, or dropping out and trying to make it on my own.

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Beverly Johnson (48) (@lovydovybevy) 5 years ago ago

A rock and a hard place. I sympathize with you, Trevor. I guess if you choose to stay in school and pursue the conventional career path, just try your best to make the most of your time there and try to make it as painless as possible. If it’s really bothering you, then dropping out and pursuing your own thing is also a viable option. Each option has its hurdles, nothing is ever easy in life, but I guess if it all was then we wouldn’t have anything to learn here. 

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Silvio Aldebot (3) (@SaldVoi) 5 years ago ago

I resonate with you very much on this one. You just have to power through it, but be sure to keep yourself inspired and entertained during the dull, boring ride. Whenever this happens, I like to spice things up by taking an interesting humanities course (I love philosophy and writing), so maybe that could provide some sort of relief? It’d be a form of learning and developing your skills in a more creative and introspective way. Sometimes you walk away with a lot more wisdom from those kinds of classes, then again sometimes you won’t because of…well, the monotonous, inherently flawed, dull education system.

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Moran (0) (@KeyboardMoran) 4 years, 10 months ago ago

I have spent the last 4 years doing a degree in Mathematics and computer science. During my 1st year, I asked my Lecturer where what He was teaching would be applied. His answer…..”I dont know either.” I just have 3 weeks remaining on the course, push the paper on my bottom drawer and keep doing things I like. 

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