What are you struggling with lately?

 Jordan Bates (@bashfulkoala)5 years, 4 months ago

Hey all,

Just curious what people are struggling with lately. I can’t be too specific, but I’m somewhat struggling with the fact that certain loved ones judge my life choices. Also struggle with the process of embracing falling in love again, while still being in love with my last partner.

Any random words about either of these situations would be appreciated, but I’m also just curious what you all are going through. Will offer whatever I can. It can be helpful to just vent though. What’s up with you?

Peace / Love,
jb

May 11, 2016 at 5:15 am
Murat (1) (@MrMerlinin) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

   I am struggling with my perfectionist and dramatic characteristic mostly. I cant get things done completely. I am a psy. student and my life changed last year. I started to believe in high existence, spiritual beliefs. My eyes are opened now. I am not a robot of this disrupted society. I realized that many things in this world is just wrong and now, I want to learn more. I want to learn everything. The power of the universe, the mysteries of it, everything. At most nights, I look out from my window and wish to see the extraterrestrials. Yeah, I am a veeery different person. I am an INFJ which means that on earth there are so few people like me (almost bc everyone is unique right:)) I dont know what to do. Nothing is enough for me. The way I think makes me an unsocial person sometimes. As I said, I learned so much and Im 23 years old. I dont know how many new things I am going to learn, but I can feel it. My life started to change. I dont know what to do. I feel lonely sometimes for that, because I am different, I am perfectionist, I envy others. I say things, I make plans but cant make them happen. Btw, I never had a girlfriend. I tried and failed. Her name was Deniz. Now there is another one but she has a bf. I have no luck I guess or it is about my characteristic. I have never met anyone like me. Never. This is my struggle. A psychological war and I dont know what to do.

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Gabriella (0) (@Gfunkali) 5 years, 2 months ago ago

I feel the same

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4secret (0) (@hafiz444) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

Escaping something beyond my imagination. Should’ve known that you can’t run from it, things would be different. 

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4secret (0) (@hafiz444) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

if only

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tekmann33 (1) (@tekmann33) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

I am struggling with high stress IT job that seems to pluck at the insecurities of my past.   Anytime I have a hight stressful moment, that feeling of tension reverberates in me and the insecurities of a 9 year boy is at the other end of that string (I am currently 43).

Whew…just typing that makes me tear up…I don’t know why.

I had an epiphany of trying to eliminate my old self, to where the fixed Idea I have of myself is eliminated…have a feeling of sadness lift a little.   Want to purse that feeling.

Yikes…a lot of truth in that paragraph I wasn’t planning on getting out.

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Justine Kiss (0) (@Imari-Babali) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

Today, I found this site while struggling on igniting back my passion in life since I was feeling flat and uninspired lately. It did help and I think will be very helpful in the future.

About your case, falling in love again is fine even if you are still somewhat in love with your last partner as long as you’re not committed to each other anymore or have no chance of being together in the near future (like she’s with another guy, LDR, etc.).

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MegaJ01 (1) (@MegaJ.01) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

Hi JB,

I too am struggling with a lot of feelings for my ex. I don’t want to miss out on open doors and new opportunities, but it is hard to deny how your heart feels.

 I’m also struggling with realizing my potential and using all the skills I have been given.  I’m trying to wrap my head around starting my own small business, but it is daunting. I know failure in the long run is good, but I fear it so much.

Life is a struggle and I am embracing how it it makes me a better person.

Good luck to everyone who is in some way struggling. You have no idea how awesome and strong of a person you really are!  

Thanks for listening everyone.

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Sherry (0) (@Sherry-Brunne) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

Hi JB

I am struggling with my diet at the moment.   I have been making terrible choices and I just can`t seem to stop!

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Joseph (0) (@joseph.allen86) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

Hey JB,

I’m struggling with the fact that my wife is not in love with me anymore and I am staying in our marriage for our 1-year old son.  We are basically roommates at this point and outside of my son, I have no interaction with other people.  I am a stay at home dad and I really enjoy the bond I have with my son, but I feel extremely isolated.  I have made some pretty bad decisions that led me to my current situation, and I accept responsibility for them, but it doesn’t make me feel any less alone.  Any advice from anyone would be much appreciated.  Hope everyone is having a great day

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Timid Young Rabbit (1) (@Timidyoungrabbit) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

Hey Joe. So I could never understand your situation to a degree to tell you what to do but I believe the move I would make in your place would be to start connecting with other parents. You are still an individual and that might be hard with a one year old on your hands, but when you are at the park or when you are in a group of people who also are parents they might be your best allies. I hope everything works out for you!

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Krunded (0) (@krunded) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

I am struggling with my compulsory military service.

It feels awful to work for an institution based on principles I’ve fought against all my life. Feels awful to work for people whom thinks it is allright to kill people just because they have a different ethnicity. I feel trapped.. But hey, maybe I’ll be able to raise some awareness in those people? Or maybe it’ll be a really depressing year. I at least feel ready for whats to come.

K

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teaflower (15) (@teaflower) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

I guess I’m struggling with doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. I opened up an online etsy shop and wrote that I’d be giving 75% of the money I make from it to a different charity each month- which is true. I’m really excited about the prospect of making a positive impact in the world! But I know the motivation for starting my charity shop was to hopefully one day be able to quit my day job and just make and sell my art forever, my biggest dream for myself. And I suspect that I thought of the charity idea because I have a hard time imagining that someone would buy my wares otherwise.

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حیدر مصطفی ہاشمی (0) (@ecstacyhashmi) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

Hey everyone,

You can call me HMH – i am a random person with have some random memories & feel fresh with High Existence Society #Live #Lovely people and blessed with the best.

well appreciating this kind of feeling while having love in your heart and soul in your brain – curious with respect & shine with rum under the sun.

I become Suicide Sheep once a week ;)  

<i class=”_3kkw _4-k1″ style=”display: inline-block; height: 16px; vertical-align: -3px; width: 16px; color: rgb(29, 33, 41); font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; background-image: url("https://www.facebook.com/images/emoji.php/v2/u57/1/16/1f609.png&quot;); background-size: 16px 16px;”>?

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Duncan (1) (@DJSpunks) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

Dude you dont need relationships forget ’em waste of time you gotta just enjoy living in the moment. Yeah the worlds shite so aint easy but just chillin in the eve with a beer an some tunes on is all ya need.

struggeling with stuff, i guess the fact entirety of existance inside your head and you can never escape it is bad enough i guess it makes everything else irrelivent

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Ruchi (0) (@Ruchi.rv) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

I am struggling with a question that I don’t miss my ex at all . But still I get random recalls about him. I found myself thinking about him suddenly, then I question myself why the hell I am thinking about that ugly person … phsycology says that you think about person automatically when he misses you … is that so?? Is he missing me ??  I don’t miss him but why I am thinking about him? Confused!! 

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Zoidberg_44 (0) (@ridethewalrus22) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

Hey guys. It feels nice to open up about this finally. 

I moved to LA from a pretty small town in the Midwest. I’ve been here for about 9 months now. I met a very nice girl and we became best friends and moved into an apartment together. Not only do we live together but we also work at the same job, so we are around each other a lot. Naturally this leads to arguments and disagreements, especially since we come from two very different cultures (I’m American and she is from the Middle East). 

Recently we got in an argument and just started ignoring each other, which is really awkward when you live in the same house. Things we usually did together, like grocery shopping, yoga, going for walks, eating out, etc., we now do separately. Since I am an introvert this is a welcome change because I really value my alone time and I don’t like excessive small talk. However, there has been a notable shift in the energy in our home and I feel that it is affecting me negatively. My home is my sanctuary and I have to feel 100% secure in my own space.

How do I block out the negative energy and focus solely on myself, without being “bitchy” or “anti-social”? Is that even possible?

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Ymse (8) (@Ymse) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

End the argument.
What good does it do to have a long lasting argument?
Ask yourself; what is it that angers me? Why does it anger me? Should it really anger me?

The negative energy you feel at home is the effect of your, or her unwillingness to let go of the argument.
You retreat into your “introvert” personality and hide yourself behind that, telling yourself that you actually prefer the solitude. I did that a few times myself. And no, you cant “block out” the negative energy, that’s you fighting what is and refusing to deal with the problem, so you just want it gone. 
Culture clash is inevitable, I lived one year in the states (Im Norwegian) and ended up in quite the arguments with my host family. What I learned is that perspective is key, try too se it from their point of view.
In the end, if you cant agree, well then both of you let it go. Agree to disagree and accept that. Both of you have stubborn cultures and if this is a cultural thing, you both need to be able to accept each other respectfully.  

If you want this gone, you gotta deal with it straight on, no shortcuts here my friend.
You can still be more “introverted” and be by yourself without the need for an argument to separate you.
Simply let her know you want som time alone today, this weekend, or whatever. 

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Eva (0) (@Yinsister) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

I was just scrolling through high existence because I can’t sleep and stumbled upon your story, I have almost the exact same situation right now. I live in a house with a few other girls, also students, and one of them became my best friend as we got to know each other better. We did a lot of stuff together and we jokingly often said we were sort of soulmates, we were very close. All of a sudden after 4 or 5 months or so, I felt her starting to pull away.

When I confronted her about this, she told me she was finding it difficult to set boundaries with the two of us spending so much time together, and she also had some things she found difficult about me as a person. (Called me “intense” and she was feeling like I was happier in the beginning of our friendship). In my mind I felt she had the right to feel this way and I want to respect these boundaries, but I felt really hurt and haven’t been able to get past it or act natural when being around her.

I don’t know what your situation is exactly and was wondering about the argument you got into, it might explain the awkwardness (maybe one of you two feels hurt too). For me, I am noticing that I find it very hard to get past my feelings, I am trying really hard to just give her space and at the same time acting normal, but the feeling is now very cold and I don’t feel accepted for who I am, which makes me feel uncomfortable around her. I am kind of stuck, we both keep saying we really want to remain friends, but as it is now I don’t see it happening. Advice?

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Ymse (8) (@Ymse) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

Hey there, Im going through quite the experience to say the least. My beloved and I got together a little bit too soon after her previous relationship and it backfired on me. We ended up calling it a quit and I started a long harsh process of moving on. After almost reaching the point where I was done, all I had to do was finish the semester and then I’d finally be gone and able to take the final steps. note that we all lived at the school and I, just a few rooms down the hall to her.
Then suddenly there she was, the struggles she had that lead to our demise was now behind her and she was ready to try anew. At first I was very sceptical indeed, but the love I have for that woman will never perish. The moment I saw into her eyes I knew that I had no chance of refusal, that would only bring upon me regret. What followed was two months of wonder, beautiful days with a beautiful woman. We both fell in love all over again, this time for real, with nothing holding us back, or maybe something. You see, after the semester, we were to move back home, she lives 8 hours away. It may seem like nothing, but for students this is a lot. We have the summer then I’m entering the military for one year, 8 hours will become 16. This will be our test I recon. But I am fearful, even though I am willing to put down every last piece of myself into this, I fear that she is the one that once again will take a step back. I try my best to keep in touch, but I notice that 99% of the time, Im the one who reaches out. Im the one who calls and Im the one who texts. Even though she responds and we do converse, the initiative is always mine. This gives me doubt that she really is giving the effort needed. This is my current struggle. Any advice for this is greatly appreciated, this is only for this year, one year apart then we can be together. So I need to make it count! 

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ces’t la vie (197) (@citygirl9050) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

I am struggling with the fact that I found someone I could see myself falling in love with, and we are in a relationship. But in one month we have different agendas (both graduating college) and I am not keen on being on his agenda, and he is unsure about being on my agenda yet. I want to move back to Southern Cali and he wants to stay up in Northern Cali and start working. If I don’t see something for me to hold on to future-wise between us, then I will need to break things off with him after graduation because long distance with uncertainty is too hard for me to bare.

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wrenchman (6) (@xanderman) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

     I recently had to lay a few large life choices on the line to my family whom I expected to judge and ridicule me. I am very fortunate that they only showed compassion and support for me owning up to my own truths and not following the paths they had set out for me from the start. You may not have a family which is as understanding but it took me years to tell mine these decisions which I put off due to familial pressure. In the end what I learned was you must be true to yourself and that includes being straight up with those around you. If you try to please them and put off what is in your heart you won’t be happy, take the plunge and say what you need to say because if someone does not want to accept you for who you are, they do not deserve your love and connection in return.

     I am struggling with a relationship. We usually work through issues that come up but some things just cannot be worked through as we have different priorities. I know I do not always meet my SO’s expectations nor does she always meet mine. I know relationships are not perfect but when resentment and anxiety occur due to unresolved reoccurring conflict I worry that we may be hurting each other and dragging on a poisonous situation. She is the last person I would ever want to hurt emotionally though wherein lies my problem, our relationship hurts her ( and myself) at times but so would separating.

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Timid Young Rabbit (1) (@Timidyoungrabbit) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

I guess overall I am just struggling with life. I just finished my first year of college and I look back and reflect about everything that has lead me to this point. I see mistakes I’ve made and fun times I have experienced. This usually causes me to reflect on myself. With this comes feelings of loneliness and sorrow. I realize that I don’t know what I am here for and sometimes I can’t even recognize my own passions. The worst of this is that even though I have made many “friends” over the years I just don’t feel like I can talk to any of them about this and that they wouldn’t understand. This along with the feeling of, or the lack of in this case, appreciation I feel like I am worthless and that I don’t matter. I smile every day and everyone knows me as this happy kid and I just feel like a fraud because in reality I don’t feel happy and all I really want is someone to love and to care. Yes I do value life and I would never try to take my own but every day just seems so hard to make my own.

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bnn (8) (@dalebenmenschen) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

I really appreciate how you put this into words as I am feeling exactly the same way. I think the problems relie on each other and that the lack of knowing the own passions is one of the biggest problems, because they would make me feel secure whenever I am by myself. In the last couple of years, I would never have stable friendships, not even the close ones from the past, not even in my family, but did not really have things to come back on, except eating. That brought me a lot of trouble.

I don’t know if it’s the same for you, but it is definitely influencing my self esteem and it is a vicious circle. Not having really strong, ever resting passions makes me feel worthless but is also caused by the fact that I’m not talented in anything I know, nor do I see myself as a consequent person.

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Timid Young Rabbit (1) (@Timidyoungrabbit) 5 years, 2 months ago ago

Thanks for replying. Since this post a few things have changed for me such as, I finally found someone who I can talk to about a lot of my personal feelings. She helped me to see that I have a lot more natural happyness inside of me then I originally thought. It made me realize that a lot of the self doubt and sorrow I feel is mostly in my own head. I have a lot of obstacles to counqour still because the feelings always come back, mostly when i’m alone, and with this I find myself being around people all the time. I hope to learn to love myself and be okay with being alone. I hope you find passion in your life and in the actions you make on a day to day basis and that with time you and I both can find solace in our own. 

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Beverly Johnson (48) (@lovydovybevy) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

Hi Trevor, what school do you go to? There aren’t any cool projects going on at the school that you could possibly be a part of? 

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Trevor (0) (@bluepanda43) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

There are cool projects, I’m actually very involved in my school’s Formula SAE team which designs and builds racecars. I’m learning a lot from this, but it seems to have nothing in common with any of the courses I’m taking. The more involved I get with actual projects, the more I feel that my classes are a useless waste of time and money.  

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Trevor (0) (@bluepanda43) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

Sorry this posted twice- I don’t see an option to delete it anywhere

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Beverly Johnson (48) (@lovydovybevy) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

I see. Unfortunately, it seems the way the system is set up, for a career in science and technology, it is basically required that you have some kind of degree to show you went through the schooling for most companies/start-ups, whatever, unless you start your own. How many more years do you have left?

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Trevor (0) (@bluepanda43) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

I’m just finishing the second year of a five year program, so I’ve still got three left. You’re right that a college degree is a necessity for a conventional career in engineering, it’s just frustrating because I don’t see any real value in it. I’m stuck between enduring through a few more years of school just to get a piece of paper that makes myself marketable, or dropping out and trying to make it on my own.

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Emma :) (0) (@emmaa8234) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

I also struggle from eczema. The sun helps a lot. Tanning makes it go away completely. Applying oil afterwards helps too. Hope this helps! :)

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Beverly Johnson (48) (@lovydovybevy) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

A rock and a hard place. I sympathize with you, Trevor. I guess if you choose to stay in school and pursue the conventional career path, just try your best to make the most of your time there and try to make it as painless as possible. If it’s really bothering you, then dropping out and pursuing your own thing is also a viable option. Each option has its hurdles, nothing is ever easy in life, but I guess if it all was then we wouldn’t have anything to learn here. 

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