What are you struggling with lately?

 Jordan Bates (@bashfulkoala)5 years, 4 months ago

Hey all,

Just curious what people are struggling with lately. I can’t be too specific, but I’m somewhat struggling with the fact that certain loved ones judge my life choices. Also struggle with the process of embracing falling in love again, while still being in love with my last partner.

Any random words about either of these situations would be appreciated, but I’m also just curious what you all are going through. Will offer whatever I can. It can be helpful to just vent though. What’s up with you?

Peace / Love,
jb

May 11, 2016 at 5:15 am
Courtney (0) (@Cookielove664) 5 years, 4 months ago ago

Happyness

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50348767 (0) (@torikraj) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

good

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Ben Buchanan (1) (@Ben-Buchanan) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

Hey JB,

I’ve got a close friend who lives about 15 hours way by car. She used to live close, and when she did I confided in her more than anyone else. She understands me unlike anyone, and I understand her. Being the unassertive type, I kept my true feelings from her, afraid to ruin the good we already shared. After all, that’s just greed right? She hooked up with a guy she seems to really like. He’s a manly man, and I can’t blame her for the attraction. He seems to be of good personality and nobody is without fault, least of all myself. Then about two years ago she moves away with him to their current residence. She just visited last week, and to my great pleasure, she chose to give me one of only four days she had up here. We talked so much. More than I’ve talked with any of my other friends in a long, long time. I couldn’t believe how much I’d missed her. The energy I felt around her was unmistakable. When we were finally able to open up into a more personal conversation, she expressed great distress in her current relationship, and I could bring myself to do nothing but listen and encourage her. I now understand that her current partner is threatened by our friendship, and I reassured her that I was no threat to him. And I certainly don’t want to be a threat to anyone. Yet once the day came to a close, and we had to say goodbye, I knew I couldn’t put these feelings away again. They were out too strong to ignore. I said nothing, and now she’s back to her home, thinking all is well and nothing has changed, and here I sit with this great anguish. 

I can relate to you in the fact that letting go has got to be one of the hardest things we must learn to do for peace.

I wish you the best!

bb 

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Atlantica (0) (@RyanCollins) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

To be Honest i struggling with who i am, im in a very lost state at the moment and still trying to find out more about this crazy thing we call life, reality just seems fake to me and i struggling with depression and anxiety aswell, so its not a good mix at the moment, im alone in the world…

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Justin St. John (0) (@Eyeam) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

Howzit jb,
Thank you for opening this discussion. I’ve recently discovered a deep connection with someone, intimate and deeper than any other. I lost her when a 4hr layover in Honolulu was spent and she would move home for the summer. All of this in the same day…Brutal. (holy sh*t! Jordan Bates? I’ve followed you for sometime on ig and he! Dig your style brother…Keep it up!) anyway, yeah trusting the flow, that all things come and go in divine timing. I’m already looking forward to meeting her again, in this life and in others. Oh how purely magical it is, and always will be… Aside from missing a physical connection, I guess I’m struggling with celebrating our recent discovery with the distance that exist between us currently. Is it possible for one to feel that connection alone? In all things? Putting all faith in the Divine to keep this fire burning until the wind blows us back together again… She is the Goddess that sets me free… The Light that guides me home…
Warmest Aloha,
Justin 

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Amiel Santos (3) (@Amiel-Santos) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

Hi all,

Wow, this is a great topoic, thank you for opening it. (Pardon my lame english skills)

I’ ve been making a lot of important desicions lately, the fact of not being sure of any of them makes me wounder if actually made the right choice.. it causes a huge amount of both physical and emotional pain to be constantly overthinking about it.

But, we gotta live, we gotta keep moving fowards.

Best regards,

AS

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Antwon (1) (@ahamp3) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

Hey JB! So lately here on my spiritual journey I have found that I’ve been really struggling with my self-image. Over the months I have been accustomed to always give attention to what my mind is saying. I have become obsessive over figuring out my mind or how to become ‘conscious’ in literally every moment that I realize I’m thinking. Because of my mind’s persistency on constantly evaluating and chastising itself to become ‘enlightened’, it will not give itself a break to think when it has the chance to do somethimg about it. At the same i understand, or act like i understand because i have so much knkwledge in this subject, that ive never NOT been enlightened. Me being able to be aware of the fact that i was thinking means that there was something there and alive that was watching my actions while i was ‘unconscious’ (thinking). So that relization seems rational to my mind it makes it condracts itseld by TRYING to let itself go

This constant loop of just back and forth war in my head leaves me extremely anxious and feeling dreadful sometimes. My mind has totally become despise of itself because of its own excessive nature to constantly judge tself for not being enlightened. While at the same time it judges itself FOR judging itslef. It feels quite life resisting to be in this state at times as I don’t even know who.I am anymore. It’s hard to talk and walk with confidence because I have this automatic habit to be drawn to whatever my mind is suggesting and saying. I just feel like I’m in this huge pickle…

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René Rehn (0) (@Rene-Rehn) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

Hey JB, I know what you mean about your loved ones judging your life choices. I had the same problem when I dropped out of university that my family wasn’t too happy about it. Still they accepted after some time and when I explained why they were understanding. I know it is not the best advice, but sometimes it needs time and some explainging for people to see things from your perspective. If they don’t then you might have to consider thinking about who you want in your life.

Currently I am struggling with getting my daily routine right and especially keep doing it. There are a variety of projects I am working on and I have good routine with enough exercise and meditation, but due not being able to sleep right (probably the weather and heat) things are in haywire. So I am just more or less doing my stuff at night times or early morning while sleeping in the afternoon. It is always very easy to fuck up your sleeping routine, but very hard to get it normal again.
Other things I struggle is if the directions I am going in life are right, but here I have actually a pretty good feeling by now.

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MoMohamed121 (0) (@Mo.Sarah) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

Hey Jordan,

    I know how you feel because I’m going through what I’d imagine is a similar situation with my family. I tried to come out to my mom about my sexuality last semester and that didn’t go so well so we just act as though it never happened. After seeing her reaction I haven’t told any other family member. I also told her that I’m no longer a Christian. That she accepted a lot better, but alludes that I should believe the way she does. This, however may not be intentional since we’ve kind of always been off with communication because we word things differently. 

    Anyway, I’ve been feeling pretty exhausted about hiding a huge aspect of my life from people because no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise, I’m afraid of being disowned. No matter what people tell you, it sucks when your family doesn’t respect, let alone accept, your life choices. This is especially true if your family is one of your top priorities.

    It can suck sometimes, being surrounded by people that have known you your entire life and don’t really know you at all, but you really have to do what’s best for you. I think it can be a lot more harmful to try any be someone that you’re not, or stop being who you really are because some of your loved ones don’t agree with the way that you want to live. 

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borisp (0) (@borisp) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

Getting through the semester, my exams are in 2 weeks .. still not really up to date, always procrastinating.. and getting my Ex out of my mind. i really applied the NOContact rule for a while and then she reached out and ended by us both meeting, so it kinda brought up old feelings in a very bad moment.

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Cam (0) (@Cjochims) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

Hey JB,

I’m going trhough some really thought time in my life right now. I lost a full scholarship for volleyball from a really good university and now I’m back in my parents house. An year and a half ago my father was on some medications that made him lost his temper and hit me (pretty hard and a lot) twice. I already did forgive him a long time ago, but I can’t forget it. This hunts me every day and I got depressed and think about killing myself every day for the last year. I cry myself to sleep everyday. I have arguments with my family everyday. My family never helped me to get trhough what happen, they just wanted me to forgive my dad. And I did. But I couldn’t look him in the eyes for almost a year and I’m still struggling with letting him touch me. I feel like everyone in this house hates. I feel like I’m a monster. 

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siddhartha (0) (@hermannhesse) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

<p style=”line-height: 21.7px;”>i’ve been struggling with the inability to differentiate attachment from actual romantic sentiment.<p style=”line-height: 21.7px;”>there’s a particular individual whose mere presence breeds an unnerving feeling. I don’t even think I feel affectionately for this person; I know that I don’t.  I had a rather confusing, vague, semi-reciprocated infatuation with this individual at one point. Or, perhaps, ’twas all in my head. No, it couldn’t have all been imagined.<p style=”line-height: 21.7px;”>All the same, I’ve contrived false scenarios within my head with said person as the representative. I know these things can never be actualized, for, this person could never see me in that way. This person makes me feel in a state of constant unrest; I’ve even lowered myself for the sole sake of receiving their attention. Truthfully, I regret ever having communicated with them. It’s brought no good. I’ve attempted to erase them but I just can’t overcome the sole acknowledgement of their presence. Soon I will be relocating, but it feels like an eternity until that time, and they still torture me just by breathing in the same direction as me. I have an awful tendency of watching them whenever I am forsaken enough to be in their presence, rendering me something of an irrational schoolgirl. I just don’t know how to surpass this.

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Linda (1) (@limerence22) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

I’m struggling with the fact that everyone I know is finishing University while I’m still in a community college and nowhere near transferring . I’ve been taking classes on and off since I’ve been working and now it’s gotten to the point where I hate school and don’t want to go anymore. JB thanks for posting this! 

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Netta (0) (@Cockypinkcrocs) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

I’m currently struggling with my adult life. Saving money is difficult and I love with my parents. I’ve consider going for a second job (I submitted an application today). I’m 22 and live with my parents, my friends kinda have their own lives boyfriends, children, getting their life together, so I’m just usually alone. I love the out doors but I keep seeing myself stuck inside, I’m not depressed or at least I don’t feel depressed. I haven’t started school and each day that goes by people keep telling that I need to go, I swear if I hear it one more time, I’m going to punch some one. 

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Beverly Johnson (48) (@lovydovybevy) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

Hey Netta. I’m in the same boat as you. I’m 23, living at home with my parents, trying hard not to judge myself with where I am right now. I’ve been thinking about this a lot, about being an adult and trying to figure out how to do this “adult” thing that seems super daunting and extremely high-pressure. If you love the outdoors, take the first step to go outside, it’ll help a lot I promise. You’ll feel so much better just by taking the first step. And fuck those people who want you to go to school. Do you want to go? If that’s not it for you right now, then don’t do it. Do what makes you feel alive and well and like you’re living a life true to your own wants, desires, and aspirations. I believe in you, girl. -Bev

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nyjag (0) (@nyjag) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

Another old guy perspective…. It’d be more of a struggle if there wasn’t someone new… Don’t think, embrace it and let it happen. It might be better than the last one, and If not, at least you gained a new love experience (which don’t grow on trees).   Onward!!!  

Personally, I’m dealing with a severe case of job/career “I don’t give a fuck”.  Which would be O.K. if I had enough mid-life “I don’t need to give a fuck” $$ socked away to responsibly take care of kids in college, a few more years of a mortgage, and a beautiful kind hearted wife…but I don’t.  Instead, I’ve become a fucking Thoreau quote. 

Good Luck!

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becca (0) (@bekaankora) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

My current struggle (which im thankful for) involves making the next move. I’ve just finished my associates degree (4 years dropping in and out of school,3 states to live and move from, 2 trips out of the US, and 1  trip to rehab later…) my ideal dream is to get to grad school and become a licenced holistic practitioner. As the summer comes around, I’ve been made offers to// move up north (be closer to my best friend, do a bachelor’s program online, potentially have a odd job hookup), move towards the equator (no schooling plans, but an offer to help open a business with an older friend, but is a place I’ve never been and know noone but friend has a place there) or move west with a long distance lover who wants to take it to the next level (I’ve never been to the west coast, would find a school out there while he works in his career field). All are great opportunities, and this is the first time in my life anything like so has unfolded before me so nicely, yet leaves the option of what decision to make or even how to make it when they all seem good 

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Dale (0) (@Daleknows) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

It’s fear.  The answer to both your problems.   From your first example, it’s the fear your loved ones are feeling.  From your second example, it’s the fear that you’ll fall in love and it won’t last.

Just remember that this universe exists for you.   All outcomes are happening in one of the many worlds.  

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Anonymous (0) (@) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

I’ve been travelling around many parts of Asia for the last 2 years and I now find it difficult to focus on a career. Travelling has opened my eyes to all new things and I cannot fathom working a thankless, boring job for which I have no interest in. I need some guidance on what to do with my life, I know nobody can decide that but me but I need a wise old man to instill some values and wonder in me.

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scarlett luna (0) (@georgia) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

i dont know what i want to do with my life and i must choose cuz the finals are coming up

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J Fox (0) (@JohnnyFox) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

<p style=”line-height: 21.7px;”>jb, <p style=”line-height: 21.7px;”>Suffering is the illusory plight of human existence. If your actions and life choices are coming from the heart and done in presence, awareness, and acceptance, then suffering will cease to exist. If your mentioned “life choices” are choices coming from this place of presence, then it is your loved one who is not “present.” This is by no means a bad thing, simply something that they haven’t learned how to do yet. However, awareness is contagious; if you are fully living in the Now, then the people around you have a very hard time remaining ignorant. <p style=”line-height: 21.7px;”>Any heartache or break or confusion can be fully resolved with complete and utter acceptance. The moment you bring to light any fears or worries, the moment they can be viewed upon in their true form: love. Sounds corny, I know, but just dwell on it for a bit. Also, don’t ever be hesitant to embrace love. Even if you really do still love your last partner, don’t fight that love. Accept it. Accept accept accept. Only then will you feel truly free to pursue love in other ways, people, and places.  <p style=”line-height: 21.7px;”>I could go much more in depth with this philosophy but I’ll leave you with this XD

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Ben Buchanan (1) (@Ben-Buchanan) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

Hi Ella,

I have this problem where I like to solve other people’s problems without any knowledge of how to do so. I’m no authority in emotion.

That said, the last year has been a year of great loss. Everyone dies, I just always thought it would happen differently. Cleaner. Grieving is something that I have discovered does not come naturally to me. I’ve been bottling up feelings since I can remember. Don’t get me wrong, I have fun, really laugh, sometimes, and I love life. Yet it seems the emotions coming from inside lately are those of sorrow, melancholy, and bittersweet hope. Most often, I seem to feel nothing at all, which usually feels more like a slightly numb tension in my chest. All I can say is when I have this feeling of nothing, it usually means there’s something there I don’t really want to feel because I fear it will hurt too much. Though as I learn, I realize that hiding from the things I fear will only dig myself further into the pit of fear itself. Once I allow the feelings to surface (which after holding them back for so long, is usually a little messy), I’m often glad I did. Just don’t expect to come to any magical understandings every time you have a good cry, or some other such expression of feeling. Usually, it just ends in peace.

Hope this helps a little tiny bit!

ben

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Netta (0) (@Cockypinkcrocs) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

Do some research on African black soap? Have you looked into your diet? I only had a small eczema out break, I decreased my meat and sugar intake along with starches, it cleared me up. That was the first and last time dealt with eczema. . I hope you and your body figures out a solution, get well soon! 

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Sharon Ottolia (0) (@Maverick333) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

Would “fostering” your ggson provide you with the money needed? Would speaking with your granddaughter about having you and your husband assume guardianship for him help? After all, you have no legal rights to receive any gov’t assistance or to have medical help for him, whether an emergency or medical appointments. Another thought is to contract with your granddaughter and her parents as to how much time you are willing to put in and STICK to it. You could call child protective to address your options. One more, there are many, many grands out there who are experiencing this situation, as I once was. Go to AARP website for more input. Don’t go back to work. It’s too difficult doing everything at our age. Blessings to you.

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bnn (8) (@dalebenmenschen) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

I really appreciate how you put this into words as I am feeling exactly the same way. I think the problems relie on each other and that the lack of knowing the own passions is one of the biggest problems, because they would make me feel secure whenever I am by myself. In the last couple of years, I would never have stable friendships, not even the close ones from the past, not even in my family, but did not really have things to come back on, except eating. That brought me a lot of trouble.

I don’t know if it’s the same for you, but it is definitely influencing my self esteem and it is a vicious circle. Not having really strong, ever resting passions makes me feel worthless but is also caused by the fact that I’m not talented in anything I know, nor do I see myself as a consequent person.

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Convict Hammer (15) (@convicthammer) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

This is exactly what I’m struggling with right now, it’s even been 4 years for me as well and even though I have met a lot of people, no one has shaken me or truly connected with me, I really thought someone would come around, but I feel like, as time goes on, I’m the one shutting down, closing gates in my mind and making it harder for anyone to reach me. I’m even worrying that I wouldn’t have enough time for a relationship right now with my work and studies.

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