Would you consider brutal honesty as an asset to one’s character? Or would you rather politeness than truthfulness? Would you be able to adopt this trait?
I agree with you on that. I think people need to understand that the truth can be biting and they have to be prepared to face it. On the other hand, they have to be capable of putting the truth forward in a way which won’t offend or upset a person. Being overly harsh in telling the truth is the issue with the brutally honest, and they need to know how to gently say it.
There are ways to be both polite and honest. As Vistor said, you need to find the right balance. Personally there are some time when I specifically ask for someone to be completely honest, regardless of how it would make e feel. Sometimes it’s better that way, it prevents you from believing things that you shouldn’t. There’s also the question of the difference between constructive criticism and being a dick. I’m all for constructive criticism, as it’s usually more helpful than blind praise, but there’s a fine line between that and nedless negativity.
The truth has importance ofcourse, but sometimes the relationship with the person whom you are having a conversation might be more important. You might say you don’t like her shoes and you might know that it would offend her. So when she askes your opinion about them, you lie. What you are saying in this case is that you value her wellbeing over the truth, which is noble in my opinion.
Another thing is when the truth is too important to lie about, but have various ways to tell it. You could be blunt and ”tell it like it is”. But what you are saying then is that, yes you value truth, but you don’t value the emotions of the person you’re telling it to.
Both messages are important, but in my opinion love is worth more than truth.
Yeah, I think phrasing plays a major part in this case. And you also need to know where the person stands on brutal honesty. Finding the balance between politeness and honesty and tailoring it to the factors of the circumstance (e.g knowing if your partner would get offended if you gave the response you’re considering would affect your answer) is the key. And I agree, love would be more valuable in that case.
I think brutal honesty is important in certain contexts, but as stated before, there should be a balance between being polite and honest; being brutally honest shouldn’t mean being rude. Truths should be stated directly, but if you think the other person/s will feel offended, you could remind them that what you said is solely your opinion, and if they disagree, that’s quite fine, they shouldn’t be guided by your sole opinion.
In order for brutal honesty to be a part of your character you assume you know these universal truths and must be a spreader of them, which is highly doubtful. I use to believe this was a character trait I had, but I believe now that it is not a positive thing to attach to yourself. Perhaps the things that are blatantly obvious to you, are only obvious to your perspective of the reality. It may not === someone else’s. Beware friend.
Say only happy honest things to make another person feel good. Then where ever you go and whatever you do you are brinking happiness to everyone you see.
My grandmother always said “if you dont have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.”
im more of that polite person who is afraid of telling someone the truth when i know it will definitely hurt them. but i think honesty is always the best policy, its always better to tell someone the truth in a polite manner, although im struggling to be able to do that.
In my experience people who are more polite offer a consistent level of kindness without challenging ideas or concepts in order to remain at peace with their peers. Whereas people who are frank tend to not care about being liked and more interested in people who can see through their ego understand their intention.
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