What do I need to do To stop this Affair?

 christine1 (@christine1)4 years, 9 months ago

Hey, My name is Raja I’m 19 years old and 6 months ago back in july on the 19th I met this boy his name is Jalen. He was sweet and such a gentlemen. He is dark skined and tall, he wore skinny jeans, band T-shirts and had a high top hair cut. He wore ray band glasses and also levi’s. He listened to metal bands such as Falling in Reverse and shopped at Hot topic. When I met him, it was so easy to talk to him. Before i met him i was talking with another guy. But the other guy turned out to be a heart breaker. Jalen was there to pat my back and told me to be strong and move on. At first he was just being sweet and i knew he was. I noticed he has a ring on his finger and I asked him “Are you married?” he simply giggled and shook his head. “No” he said to me. I thought about it and I looked and asked him “then what are you?” he simply said “I’m engaged…. but I dont want her anymore..” he told me the story about him and his ex-fiance, and it also lead into his personal life. He has had a rough past, dealing with mom issues as well as suicidal thoughts. I realized the cuts on his arm but he wasnt afraid to let me see them. We then exchanged numbers and decided to be friends. July 20th he had left for his birthday week. We talked from here and there but it was very rare that he texted me first until I found out the reason why. He was with his Fiance at the time. So I avoided texting him for a few days. The next few days he texted me complaining about his Fiance (ex-fiance) and how her brother and him got into a fight. I was concerned but he said he was okay and that he was over his fiance. I shurgged it off and told him “Well if you need anyone im here” I was like his gateway. H didn’t open to me a lot, but I didnt have to ask what was wrong, you could either tell or he would just tell me.  We video chatted through facebook i would watch him play his game shirtless and we would laugh. He seemed okay and happy and thats all i wanted to see. His smile ti’ll this day makes me happy. A week he returned from his birthday leave and we saw eachother that morning. Not expecting it, as we were walking towards eachother he planted a huge kiss on my lips. But before he did he said “Where’s that kiss I was promised?” I didn’t think nothing of it. At the time I just thought of him as my friend. A real cool, friend. That remainder or the day we held hands kissed and acted like a couple. We took pictures and videos… yeah all that corny junk. later that night he offically asked me out and I said yes. But i knew something was wrong and it didn’t seem right. A week after we were together , he seemed off and way more depressed then usual. I would ask, and he would respond with “It’s nothing im okay” and I knew that wasnt the case. later that day I saw him walking from his dorm and he went up to me with music in his ears and a sad look as he pulled me aside and said “This isn’t going to work, i’ve been thinking about my ex and I miss her… but I don’t want to be with her, and I don’t want to hurt you.” I understood but i was kinda upset. I just nodded my head and smiled and said “cool” and so i walked off and he grabbed me asking “You don’t want to talk about it?” Now going back to what i said before, I was already messing around with one guy who turned out to be a jerk off. So when he asked that I pulled away smiling, but in tears “No, im not going to do it…. I’m not going to cry again” and with that i went back into my dorm, but an hour later I came back out to get fresh air and he was still standing in the same place i left him. He walked up to me with his hands in his jean jacket and he hugged me as tight as ever. He gives the best hugs. He told me he was sorry but he want’s to remain friends. I told him it was okay and we moved past that. Here’s the thing, ever since we decalred to be friends, he still (to this day) touches me and kisses my cheek and smiles and picks at me like i was his girlfriend honestly. The day we declared to be friends is the same day we still kissed on the lips and showing love with each other. I was confused…. but I didn’t stop it, because I liked the attention. Another few weeks goes by and he finds out his ex fiance was pregnant but had a misscarriage. I felt bad, but we werent talking at the moment. Apparently they were back together and everywhere i seen him he was on the phone talking to her, he was either yelling or just looking sad. I was ignoring him for 3 days. the 4th day he was in class and a teacher pulled me aside saying “You need to talk to him, because he really misses you” and I was in shock. How could he miss me? i havent done anything that dirastic. The teacher told me “He was crying, he was listning to his music and he wasn’t focused”. I blocked him on face book and I guess he was telling the teacher about that too “Man Ms. Bowman she blocked me on facebook and I just miss her so much”. I was in shock but kind of relved. that day he was sitting outside and he was on the phone again with his ex fiance. As he saw me he hung up the phone and went to me and hugged me again. It was tighter than usual and way more loving. “Raja, I like you alot, you make me way more happier than my ex ever did or ever will and I need you in my life” those are the words that came out his mouth. I hugged him back and from there we started dating again for a whole week. Broke up again because he still felt the same way about his ex and I decided that I wasnt going back and fourth with him. He couldnt get over her no matter how hard he tried. So we were still good friends, we just never acted like it. So I finally got the guts to ask him “Why do you act this way toward me and we are just friends” and he said “Because I can’t help it” he started telling me how beautiful I was and how he can’t help it at all. I let it slide, but we never got back together. Fast fowarding in August of 2016. I was a virgin up until I met him. Yes, yes it is true…. My best friend took my virginty, but I gav it to him with no regret and trust. After, we still remained friends, but I was waaaaaaaay more clingy than before. But Jalen knew why. As the months past and we went on just friends. He changed with his style and attitude. He wasn’t the same person I met back in July. His style of music went from hard core metal to Rap and R&B. He was a changed person, and the things he went through with his ex fiance might have changed him alot. Now he just regrets his decsion with dating her, and he can’t stand the fact that he did. He talks about it all the time till this day December 8th 2016. We are still friends… It took me 2 months to get over Jalen in this way. Because for the longest ive wanted us to be togetherr because he took my virginty, and we act like it. We argue like a married couple. But he told me how he felt about me  and that he just doesnt see us together in the near future. There is allooot more to this story, but I just need your reactions and opinions so comment! and thank you for reading this.

December 8, 2016 at 9:02 am
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