And I’ve never picked up a random woman in a bar before, What comes after the pick up line?
I’ve only ever really make a move on a friend of a friend whom my friend randomly bumps into and introduces me too. But I’ve never gone up to a random girl before and done this and I kinda think it would be awesome to be able to do so. But the last night I tried, I panicked before hand because I didn’t know what to say after I introduce myself/use a pick up line /etc
I’m terribly shy to new people unless they know someone I know =[ and I’d really like to get over it!
Just go with the flow. Don’t worry what people will think of you. If you are really lost, then before you run up to a random girl, observe a little and see what kind of things she is into. Notice her habits, or try to talk about one of the things you are most interested about. If they don’t take very kindly to the things you enjoy the most, then its a good sign that it won’t work out anyways. Confidence is the sexiest thing out there. Get some.
For the love of god don’t try pick up lines. Nothing makes me less interested in someone than an obviously rehearsed and re-used “line”. Just treat them like a person, ask questions, be friendly… and like Alex said, find out what she’s into. That will get her talking.
Pickup lines are lame, creepy and most importantly they don’t work. In fact words don’t matter much at all, stop thinking so damn much and it will all be simple, easy and natural.
Just say whatever pops up in your mind. Improvise. Unless it’s about the weather or jobs or politics or some dumb shit like that. Nobody wants to talk about that. You don’t get over shyness by trying to use tricks, you get over shyness by contradicting that irrational fear and resistance. Just talk to lots of strangers and your shyness will go away.
Using pickup lines is just weird and fucked up, and pathetic. Forget it, she’s a person, not some machine that you should manipulate. Just be fucking real. And keep in mind, this is easy and the only thing standing in your way is yourself, and that you control this. You decided to be shy and stuff and it became deep set habit. It’s easy to change, but it takes consistency.
Talk to everyone you encounter. Waiting in line, riding the bus, at a crosswalk, at work, in class, whatever. The most important thing is to get over your shyness and know that you can have a natural, enlightening conversation with anyone, whether or not you find them attractive. After that, there are “techniques” you can use, but being confident and self-validated is the most important thing.
If you really want to get over your shyness and meet new people, check out http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction. Yes, it sounds sleazy, but there are a lot of great resources on “inner game” and personal development there (Check out the “first time here” information in the sidebar).
Please please please stay away from pick up lines! However, if you want to get over your shyness, and meet some awesome girls at the same time, you might want to join a dance club and start taking lessons. I know it sounds kind of cheesy, but it really does work. A lot of women appreciate a man that can dance or is at least willing to learn. It doesn’t matter what kind you learn either, it could be modern, swing, ballroom, or hip-hop, just as long as it’s something that can involve a partner and make you feel confident about yourself.
The more you plan it, the more pressure you are putting on yourself. Don’t have a gameplan as you walk into the bar or club, because each girl is different, and many of them will see it’s just a script when your suave wears off for the awkward pause. Try and keep an edge, say something the next guy wouldn’t. Don’t be afraid to say the wrong thing, because it can lead to the right conversation.
Edit: And not all pick-up lines are bad. Just make them funny, not gross. “Do you sleep on your stomach?” “…Uh.. No.” “Well then, can I?” And then try to go into a quick transition, such as “That was terrible. I’m sorry. My name is.. Blah”
@joshua Doesn’t work that way, she’ll get bored and think you’re a bitch. Seriously, why would she want to talk about herself instead of getting to know the guy she’s attracted to? And what vibe are you giving off if you only keep asking about her? The you-are-worth-more-than-miserable-little-me vibe. No good.
It’s not an interview, it’s fun time, that’s why she’s at the bar/club. If she wanted an interview she wouldn’t be there. Also, there are ridiculous amounts of lame guys who do that stuff, so if you start doing the interview thing she will immediately associate you with those losers. In her eyes you’re a loser even if you really aren’t, because you did something that only losers have done to her in the past. And if you’re not able to handle that kind of negativity from a girl (which very few are) then you’ve lost your chances of romance with that lady.
Asking a bunch of questions is lame. Just talk about what you wanna talk about, and don’t try to flatter her into liking you, and don’t brag about yourself either. You’re two people, nothing else, just have a conversation like you would with a friend (but more sexual hehe.)
And in the end, words don’t matter all that much. Vibes do.
@manimal I have to disagree, you act as if the words dont dictate the vibe. And he is looking for advice, not to be called a loser, nothing wrong with asking her questions, just ask the right questions. I’m not sure how you approach women, but alot of women are turned off by guys who love themselves more than anyone else can love them.
Jus read this post: http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000371.html
@james You’re misinterpreting it, very much. And no, the words don’t dictate the vibe, the vibe dictates the words (unless you’re forcing every word, ego style, rather than the words coming automatically.)
@joshua Thanks, but take it easy haha. Yours is right too, but in a different way which simply isn’t as good. However, nothing I say is true until you see for yourself.
Nice eyes, are they real? I tend to make no sense at all. It always works. They start to ask me all kinds of questions, starting with “Are you insane?” – Got your attention! Yes.
Honestly I do not believe in picking up girls in bars, clubs etc., when you are interested for something more than a one night stand.
If your goal is that, then read The Game from Neil Strauss.
If you are interested in more than that, then I believe you meet the right wom(e)(a)n at other times, mostly at times when you least expect it. Then it is even more difficult to say what you would like to say because you are put in the spotlight without any preparation possibilities. BUT that is also the good thing about it, because you are, and can be, spontaneous, which is the most important thing in my opinion. When you are spontaneous, you are yourself, and that is what you need to be. I am not a ladies man or a player either, but simply starting the conversation with ‘hi how are you’ or something like that, most of the times leads to more than you would expect in the first place.
I have ‘problems’ with this as well, but I think everybody does. You should just do it, not being afraid of ‘falling down’ or being rejected. Who cares, if the girl is not interested, then why bothering and wasting your time on her hu?
And try these kind of things in situations where you do not want to hit on a girl. What I mean is, start having conversations with waitresses, bartenders, caissiers etc. etc. It will give you an advantage an some learning experience and you will see that it is easier than you think it is. Good luck!
Women hate pick up lines because they feel you’re trying to grab their attention with something cheap. A simple greeting does the work well. As for following up, I recall the great advice I once heard of. Be like a child listening to a story, put yourself in the person’s shoes, you will eventually find something interesting in what they are saying and curiosity will naturally flow. If you don’t find what they said interesting you can change the topic, and if this is not working then you probably should not be talking to that person.